Background: I am a 25 year old Starbucks barista. I was working full-time until fairly recently (Novemberish) as the rising cases in my city & my own health issues led to a really good talk with my boss. I have reduced my hours by 50% - enough to keep my health insurance, but enough to qualify for the Canada Recovery Benefit, an extra $900 every two weeks. This is for my own peace of mind as I really cannot afford to get COVID, especially as I am chronically ill.
I’d like to make note of two things -
I am one of those weirdos who has taken COVID seriously since it hit the news in January. My spouse and I had masks and sanitizer before it was cool, lol. As a result, I have not and do not go out much except to work. I do not see other people (the exception being this week as you will read.) I do pop into retail stores still as Canada Post is absolutely swamped with packages so I avoid trying to buy online.
In this diary I am battling with a Crohn’s flare. I promise the exhaustion and joint aches are because of that, not because of COVID! Funnily enough, I do credit my Crohn’s for my ease with COVID-19 restrictions and lockdowns. Being that I was hospitalized for a long time as a teen, I find it easy to be isolated and stay isolated. I know a lot of people struggle with that.
Onto the good stuff…
The Positives
Income: 16.24/hourly. I was promoted since my last diary and am now a certified trainer!
CRB: $1800/monthly. I am so incredibly thankful that I have this failsafe.
Student loans: I am back in school with more emergency management and communications classes. I applied for just enough of a student loan to pay the tuition and no more. Starbucks gives $1,000 of tuition reimbursement if you pass your classes which I can pay back onto my student loans and basically covers the cost of my classes this semester.
The Negatives
Rent/Utilities/Condo Fees: a flat $1050 monthly to S. The bills come out of his account and this is the number we landed on.
Internet: $42.50 (my half - all bills are my half. S works for the city government in waste management and makes $63,000~ a year. He has no debts except his car loan & the mortgage.)
Phone: $58.21 monthly for 13GB and unlimited texts and calls. I own my phone outright.
NYT: $14.28 for the news, Cooking, and the crossword.
Spotify: $4.99 monthly. Canadian baristas do not get the free Spotify perk. :(
Headspace: $0 monthly. We do at least get this!
Car insurance: $197.41 monthly. This is with a 9 year clean driving record, a reduced rate because of my grades, and the fact that identifying as a woman also lessens the price. And it’s still $2400 a year. Kill me. I own my car outright though.
Google Photos: $2.79/monthly.
Health insurance: $39/check to cover S and I, dental and medical. I am also on S’s so we have full coverage.
Debts & Assets:
Student loans: I have $8,000 in provincial loans and $11,000 in federal loans. They are on pause as I am in school but I was paying $215 a month towards them. I know I qualify for repayment assistance but the goddamn NSLSC will never pick up the phone.
Car: It is a 13-year-old SUV and worth maybe $2,000. I will drive that thing until it dies.
Savings: I have approximately $1500 in a TFSA. I have about $750 in Starbucks stock (not technically a savings, it was my grant this year + my own contributions, 1% from my paycheck.) I am also enrolled in their retirement plan. No idea how much is in that as I can only access the website on the work computer and never remember to do that. I have $150 in stocks because I thought I was going to be Jordan Belfort or something, idk.
Tips: I hoard all of my tip money in a little jar hidden somewhere in my home. It is at about $475.
I have no other debt.
Day One - Tuesday
7:50: S kisses me goodbye and leaves for work. I snuggle back in.
8:10: M, my male cat, is tapping my face for breakfast. Ignored.
8:24: He tries again and I get up. Lately I have been noticing the time 8:24 a lot. I told S and he said he’s been noticing 10:42 a lot. So we have decided those are our angel numbers. M is no angel though despite waking me up at this time.
8:40: Everyone is fed and I make my coffee and let out the dog, K. Oh yeah… the dog… he was an accident. We did not intend on getting a dog. It is a long story. I love him to bits.
9:15: Finish my coffee and go upstairs to have a snuggle with Z, our female cat. She is so warm. I was intending on going out to buy M’s wet food today but it is snowing something fierce and I hate driving in the snow so I resign myself to staying indoors. I would also normally take K on a walk at this time but he had knee surgery this past year and the cold and snow really bother it, so we will do some indoor play and puzzles to keep him occupied (he is a corgi and is a monster without stimulation. Again, DID NOT INTEND ON THE DOG.)
10:00: Write these entries and tidy up our spare room. We turned it into a nap/cat/yoga den as we were, obviously, not having any visitors. However, my sister-in-law is pregnant and is coming down tonight for an advanced ultrasound as there is a tentative abnormality with the baby. Because her town has had 0 cases thus far - congratulations to them, honestly - and the outpatient clinic is the one two minutes from our neighbourhood, we decided it was OK for her to stay with us. She will drive down tonight and leave right after her appointment tomorrow. 12:30: Did some cleaning, cereal eating, bed-making, what have you. I go to take the garbage out to our complex dumpster in my tshirt and notice it’s not as bad as I thought despite the snow. So I gear up and take out K.
1:15: I’m so glad I did - he was so happy! Usually he starts limping within a few minutes if the cold is bothering him but he was putting his head and belly into the snow drifts so I know he was having a good time. The cold and the walk have wiped me out though. I eat a clementine and lay under my heated blanket for a nap with Z and K (M likes to watch the snow upstairs.)
4:15: K snores himself awake and barks at himself so I wake up too. Z looks annoyed and wanders upstairs. Three animals is quite the zoo.
Check my phone and see my SIL asked if I could leave a dinner for her in the fridge, if I was making something? She left later than intended and won’t be here until 9 so dinner options will be limited. I tell her I haven’t been feeling well and S is at a union meeting tonight (why the union is doing in person meetings, I don’t know.) but it is pasta Tuesday at Boston Pizza… she readily agrees. I place an order for ravioli for myself and fettuccine for her. S will get fed at his meeting. My SIL says she will leave me cash for her half even though I try to tell her not to. Hopefully she forgets. (27.98 delivery, I’m going to leave a cash tip of $10 taped to the door for coming in the snow.)
6:30: I have enough of an appetite to eat my ravioli but only get through four pieces. I put it away to eat it later and feed the animals. I give K his puzzle bowl and he gives me a look of despair.
8:00: Ding! Crossword and mood log notifications go off. I get about halfway through the crossword when my SIL gets here.
10:30: We have a catch-up and exchange Christmas gifts as we couldn’t go up North for the holidays. Then I head to bed. I do my skincare and jade roll out a pinched nerve in my jaw - feels so good. Finish my crossword and then bed.
Daily Total: $39.98
Day Two - Wednesday
8:24: Right on time, the tiny beasts request food. SIL is already gone. She left me a $20, argh! I put it in my tip jar as I took from there to leave the cash tip but I wish she hadn’t. Babies are let out and fed.
9:30: Manage a bowl of cereal. Feel exhausted. It’s -31C out so we play indoor fetch. Putter around the house.
10:30: Go upstairs and do my skincare and fill out my journal as I couldn’t last night. I bought a daily Moleskine planner but use it as more of a journal. I put on a Yoga by Adrienne video as I won’t be walking K. I work today so I stretch.
12:30: I lay down with K after some more fetch (I told you the exhaustion is real in this diary.)
2:00: My alarm goes off. I eat mashed potatoes and drink some water, then go upstairs to find M and Z cuddling in my vanity chair. I perch on the edge - because they refuse to move! - and do some makeup. I change into my personal uniform of all black (hides the stains) and set out.
5:00: I have my first break. I got $3 in tips from last week (lol) so I use it to buy a croissant. I’m gonna claim this as a +.82 because the croissant was only 2.18.
7:00: I only manage half of my pasta on my break, which is unusual for me. I drink a mint tea to settle my stomach.
9:15: It was so dead we managed to finish everything super quickly. I take home some expired oat bars as they’re the only Starbucks snack S can eat.
9:30: Home and greet everyone. S lets out K and goes upstairs to get ready for bed. I do my “closing tasks.” This is something I picked up from the TikTok account domesticblisters, who is a licensed therapist. She has this concept of care tasks, and what tasks you should do to help set yourself up for success every night - even if it’s just to survive the day. It really resonated with me and is something I have done every night since November with a few exceptions! I start my closing tasks after I finish my nightly crossword.
Every night, I fill up all the waters in the house (ours, animals, the Keurig, etc.) I get to Sink Zero, which might mean loading the dishwasher and running it, or washing all the dishes in the sink. I disinfect the sink and scrub the stove, then disinfect the counters and the dining table. I do a Swiffer of the floor (K brings in lots of pawprints and salt from outside.) I pick up any garbage/recycling/things that don’t belong downstairs. It is so nice to come down every morning to a clean main floor and sets the mood for the day. And it only takes me 20ish minutes.
10:00: Done my tasks, give everyone a little treat for not walking on the wet floor - they’ve learned quickly that if they wait they get a treat - and head upstairs. Journal, do my skincare, floss, brush, and head to bed. Listen to Temple Rain on Headspace.
Daily Total: +$20.82
Day Three - Thursday
8:00: I can already tell today is a bad stomach day. Luckily my boss texted me and asked if I wanted to give up my shift as it was going to be super dead with the impending snowstorm and deep freeze. I readily agree and doze off for a few minutes before M bites me hard enough to get me up.
9:00: Everyone is fed, let out. I drink coffee. K is being a major snugglebug. It is snowing like crazy out but I have to go do some errands.
12:00: I stop bumming around and gear up to go outside. It’s still snowing. Ugh, Alberta.
First stop is to get gas. I have a quarter of a tank left. Remember in April when gas was like, 50c a litre? It’s 1.06 today. Also, fellow Canadians, the Esso Speedpass app is a godsend. Not having to touch any buttons on the pump has been so helpful. 45.93
Next I head to the grocery store to get milk, chicken, and cereal. I also end up getting soup, a new bubble bath, a replacement of my body wash, and a new leave-in conditioner. 27.66 (my half)
Third stop is the pet store. I grab a flat of M’s wet food. At the checkout the cashier asks if I want to donate some canned food to the local rescue as they just picked up nearly 100 kittens. That suckers me and I say yes. I also note that they’re accepting old blankets/comforters, as we just switched our duvet out, and the old one is fluffy and perfect for furbabies. 32.29 (my half)
Lastly, I go to Canadian Tire to pick up an online order I placed. It was paid for last week. It’s a gift wrap storage bin as we accumulated a bunch of rolls last year and the cats keep scratching it. Canadian Tire is fun because they have these lockers they place your order in now, and give you a pin to pick it up, so I don’t even interact with anyone. In and out.
2:00: Home and everything sanitized and put away. I wipe down my phone and watch and throw my gloves in the washer as they’re looking kind of grimy. Have a rest with K.
5:00: We play fetch and S comes home. K runs around like crazy. I go upstairs and work on a paper.
7:00: I have an appetite! I manage about 6 pieces of ravioli and some yogurt. S makes chicken wings for himself.
8:00: Go upstairs to finish off my paper and get my steps in. M is whining at me so we play with his favourite toy, a piece of twine. I do my crossword, drag the twine, and do my steps at the same time. It’s called multitasking. I make a lemon ginger tea. It’s disgusting but I drink it all as I’ve heard it has great benefits for your stomach. Does anyone else just not like tea? I’ve tried tons - thanks to Teavana at work - but I’m really only a real Indian cha girl.
9:30: I finish my steps, do my closing tasks, take a melatonin, do my skincare, and head to bed. Goodnight world.
Daily Total: 105.88
Day Four - Friday
7:45: Everyone is being very loud and banging around this morning.
8:20: Feed the zoo, let out K. It is snowing again and it is a vicious -27C outside. I have my coffee.
9:30: Realize my paper is due today. It’s mostly finished so I don’t fret. Eat cereal and start a load of laundry, and then vacuum.
10:30: Get distracted looking up refurbished Apple Pencils. I don’t need one, I don’t need one… I click out of the page. Then reopen it. Then exit it again and watch TikToks instead.
11:00: I pluck my eyebrows - something I’ve done on my own for about 7 years now. I wonder how much money that’s saved me. I put on snail essence but don’t do a full skincare routine as I intend on a shower. I do a full hair treatment with a desi hair oil. I wrap it up in a bun and get to work on finishing my paper.
1:00: Finish and submit. I air fry pork buns for lunch. My stomach feels way better today. Maybe the tea made some points…
3:00: Finished my shower. My natural curl has come back in full force. I used to have tiny ringlets as a kid and they vanished with age. Then I saw a TikTok (again, lol) which essentially said: if you’re not white, why are you using white hair products? I switched to desi & black hair products a month ago and the difference has been crazy.
5:30: S is home and K is immediately crazy. I really miss our walks. I decide to corral him momentarily in the bathroom and hide his kibble around the main floor so he can do his sniffari for dinner. He loved this game!
7:00: I try to build a Notion dashboard. This is too hard. I eat some more ravioli. Sorry for my five-year-old diet in this. It’s a bowel rest diet.
8:00: Crossword, steps, and M play time.
9:30: Closing tasks! Then bed.
Daily total: $0
Day Five - Saturday
7:45: Woken up by the usual ruckus.
8:30: Blah, blah, blah. Have my coffee. Make an egg sandwich because Saturdays are chaos and I need the protein.
9:30: Do my skincare, makeup, and hair while a nervous pit opens up in my stomach. Not only is it a cool -35C out, but Saturdays are terrible at work. I’m not a crier and have never cried at any place of employment until Saturdays @ the Siren. It’s gotten worse during the pandemic as people crave normalcy and to them, getting their coffee every Saturday is normal. But they refuse to treat us with any decency. It’s hard when you are treated as expendable so that white-collar WFH/SFH families can berate you over how long their $40 order takes. (I work in a very wealthy area.)
Also, if I am put in the drive-thru window, I will be very grumpy about it.
1:00: I was put on bar, which is a lot of responsibility on a Saturday. I buy a butter croissant and drink a mint tea on my break. 2.38
3:00: Someone yells at me about the bathrooms being closed.
3:30: I eat the last of my pasta at lunch and have a blacktea lemonade.
5:00: Someone returns a drink twice for not being the right shade of pink. She tries a third time and I politely tell her another store can make the moment right, since we clearly can’t. I hate Saturdays.
5:30: Free and covered in syrup, milk, and a mango dragonfruit that exploded at my feet. I take a hot shower and decide my day is done, so I do my skincare and remove my makeup and contacts.
8:00: S finishes gaming with his brother and I make a stir-fry sans veggies for dinner.
9:30: Closing tasks, except no mopping because the ground is frozen so K hasn’t brought in any tracks. I floss, jade roll, and fall asleep.
Daily Total: 2.38
Day Six - Sunday
8:24: M pats me awake.
9:00: I apologize for this being the most boring Money Diary of all time. Coffee and toast for breakfast.
12:00: Bummed around all morning but did a vacuum and started a load of laundry. Tomorrow is our weekly “reset” day so I don’t have much to do today. I work at 5 PM.
I research photobooks on Shutterfly. I have 30,000 photos sitting in my Google Drive and a backup hard drive. It’s serving me no use so I want to go through them, make photobooks, and delete the rest off of my computer (keeping them in their backups.) They’re currently 50% off but it would take me a long time to do seven years’ worth of books so I can’t (and won’t) pull the trigger now, but I also know Shutterfly and vistaprint host many sales, so I’m not too fussed.
2:00: We have a Zoom call with S’s family to do a late Christmas opening together. The kids (and adults!) love their gifts. We talk about the cold and about the new niece or nephew on the way.
4:30: I go upstairs and get dressed for work. S is driving me so I don’t have to worry about starting my car in the cold. It is supposed to reach -41C.
5:30: I forgot it was Superbowl Sunday. Our store is located next to the turnoff into the plaza so we try and count how many Ubers are coming in for food pickups but get bored of that. Somehow I get water on the ceiling.
7:00: I eat an “expired” croissant and drink a mint tea on my break. A woman comes through drive-thru for just a cookie. She says she didn’t know there was a Starbucks here so she had to settle for another coffee chain’s iced coffee, and then drove by and saw us. I tell her to wait and come back with a free iced coffee because no one should be subjected to the other chain’s. To my surprise she bursts into tears. A very wholesome interaction.
8:30: It’s so dead my supervisor lets the other closer go home because we’re basically done for the night and he lives 40 minutes from the store.
9:30: I leave with my coffee bean markout and another “expired” croissant, as well as a blacktea lemonade for S. We wait to make sure my supervisor’s car starts as she drives a ten-year-old minivan that recently got rear-ended, and it didn’t start last night apparently, so she had to wait for her husband to come boost her as everyone had left. She flashes her lights at us and we leave. S wants McDonald’s but I don’t so he orders and pays for just himself.
10:30: Done closing tasks. I had some soup for dinner. Bed time.
Daily Total: $0
Day Seven - Monday
8:00: I did not sleep well. M bites me and I grumble at him and hide under the covers. S gets up and feeds the animals instead.
8:45: Everyone is waiting for me to come downstairs. Being a pet mom is like being a celebrity.
9:30: Coffee and my croissant from last night for breakfast.
10:30: It’s reset day. Every Monday I clean out the fridge, dust/clean the appliances and cupboards, wash the sheets, do a major vacuum (we do small vacuums during the week but I have a Bissell Crosswave and use it every week to suck up the oodles of pet hair.) and refill canisters. I also do some self care tasks like a serious eyebrow groom, a hair oil, an Aztec face mask, clipping all my nails/painting my toenails, and in the shower I shave my legs for the week. The animals also get a spa day. We check toenails and brush them out.
Then the week is nicely set up and we don’t have to worry about this stuff until next Monday!
S is braving the weather to go to the grocery store. He comes back with a full haul as there was quite a bit of discounted meat. We put it in the freezer. 48.33 (my half)
2:30: I finish the main floor items and go upstairs to find S and the cats in the nap den bed. I decide to crawl in too and we have a major cuddle nap. K isn’t allowed upstairs so the cats have a space away from him, but we spend a lot of time downstairs with him, so I don’t feel too bad.
4:30: Up from the nap and do the upstairs chores, and then a shower. I break halfway to have some soup.
7:00: House is clean, I am clean, and animals are clean! S and I make Cajun rice for dinner. I do my steps and crossword puzzle.
9:30: Closing tasks, lights out!
Daily Total: 48.33

The Dude: It's like what Lenin said…you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Illanich Uleninov!
Donny:What the fuck is he talking about, Dude?
Hello again, GME Gang. What a fun day we had yesterday! Could it continue today? Only Melvin Capital (and maybe Ryan Cohen) knows!
And an extra special hello today to our newest WSB lookie-loo, Mr. Cramer (Can I call you Jim? I’m gonna call you Jim).
Now Jim, from what I’ve been able to gather, you and your Boomer stocks and your Hot Manic Takes don’t always get a lot of love around here. But that’s not all your fault, Jim. The Paste-Eating Rocket Kids are often good for a solid meme (FYI: it’s pronounced “Mee-Mee.” Feel free to use that on air without verifying). But the Rocket Kids can be a dense bunch and they’re also often one click away from Total Financial Ruin (Quick shout out to SPCE: Pleas fly again). So you have to dig a bit in here to separate the wheat from the chaff, as someone like you actually says in real life. What the fuck even is chaff, Jim? And why do all Boomers seem to think that folksy farm-based idioms are the perfect way to conclude a thought?
Anyway. Those of us who watched your teevee clips last week where you reference your interest in WSB know that you, Jim Cramer, might be one of the Olds, but that you also Think Young(TM). https://www.thestreet.com/jim-cramestock-market-advice-moderna-boeing-fed-ftc-dec-15. So we’re going to do our best to help your young-thinkin’ brain find the Needle In the Haystack here so you can get All Your Ducks In a Row on GME. Because we know that you’re a long way from being Put Out to Pasture, and though you may be an out-of-touch millionaire prone to facile yammering, we now like you here, Jim—simply because you mentioned us and that made us blush a bit since we’re needy Millennials who just want our Boomer mommies and daddies to Tell Us They’re Proud of Us. So even though the Paste-Eating Rocket Kids here are often Buying A Pig in a Poke (Christ, please do not ever say that or the kids’ Mee-Mees are gonna fuck you up), we appreciate you recognizing that, every now and then, there’s something worth paying attention to over in this weird little pocket of the Interwebs. And since you’re actually telling your loyal single-finger-typin’ viewers to check out this WSB shitshow, and “if they’re running GME, then do some work on GME,” we assume you might actually be checking this shit out too, since all true Young Thinkers know that What’s Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander.
Now, is the GME play as solid as your recent recommendation to buy Bed Bath and Beyond? Who knows? That seems pretty stupid, and I would look it up myself this weekend but my nice little Saturday is already pretty full so I don’t know—I don’t know if I’ll have enough time. But I’ll tell you one thing: the GME play is a lot more fucking fun. Life in a pandemic is boring, but here in this weird WSB place, these kids like fun. And for all your Boomer weirdness, you seem like you still like to have a little fun in this Mad, Mad world of ours. So consider joining us here more often. A word of warning, though: if you don’t like all the dern cuss words we use around here, Jim, well that’s just, like, your opinion man, and we’ll have you know that the Supreme Court has roundly rejected Prior Restraint.
First thing’s first: we have a bit of a bone to pick with you (now there I go). The stuff you said last week about GME as the next Blockbuster was D-U-M dumb, Jim. You were a bit out of your fucking element with that. You even made our largest shareholder and conqueror-in-waiting, Mr. Ryan Cohen, send an emoji-only tweet in response, which if you know the super nice-guy Ryan Cohen like all of us do (we actually know nothing), that is pretty much the equivalent of him bringing his dog over to micturate on your and George Sherman’s rug.
Now, I myself have never been into the whole brevity thing, but I wanted to take this opportunity to get you up to speed on the GME movie you’ve wandered into. And I know you’re down with this because you told all your viewers that if WSB is talking about GME, then “make sure you know GME.” So before you say something Absolutely Mad again and Cohen sends a tweet with an even less ambiguous emoji, it’s high time that you start Making the Sure here, Jim. Just consider this to be CPT Hubbard delivering you some Orange Sunshine and turning you on to some of that Sweet, Delicious Non-Chaff Wheat you love so goddamn much.
Part 1: GME’s Bonkers-Ass Short Interest
Now, I’m going to lead with the most crowd-pleasing part of the story here (Get ready, Rocket Kids!), and it’s the one that you did not even seem remotely familiar with in your “Stay out of GameStop, Deadbeat!” rant last week. Maybe that was by design or maybe not. We’ll return to that, Jim. But the point here is: the short interest here is batshit insane. And not just your garden variety Boomer in Rolled Up Sleeves Ranting About Buying Estee Lauder While Hitting Buttons On The Beep-Bop-Boop Machine kind of insanity. Really and truly fucking nuts.
So to TL/DR this shit for you, Jim (to use the parlance of our times): GME is the most shorted stock trading today—by far. https://financhill.com/most-heavily-shorted-stocks-today How shorted? Well, the value of shares short exceeds the market cap of the company; there are currently more shares short than the total number of shares outstanding. And when factoring in the institutional and insider ownership, the total short percentage of float is nearly 300%. https://www.gurufocus.com/term/FloatPercentageOfTSO/GME/Float-Percentage-Of-Total-Shares-Outstanding/GameStop-Corp Even higher, actually, now that Cohen’s interest is over 10%. Now, I’m not a numbers whiz like you, but that level of short interest and the small available float seems pretty fucked up to me. Like: “how is that even legal?” fucked up. And just for a frame of reference, the third most shorted security right now is your beloved Bed Bath and Beyond, with a short percentage of float at a nice and tidy 69%.
Are you starting to gather why some of us in this weird little pocket of the Interwebs are a little excited about GME? You see, as u/Jeffamazon and RodAlzmann u/Uberkikz11 and others have explained in these here corners and on the twitter machine with their top-notch DD, and as I will translate to you in lingo you can dig, the short sellers got way over their skiis on this one expecting a bankruptcy in Spring of 2020 that never came. And yet, amazingly, the short interest has only increased since then—there has effectively been no covering in the aggregate and, in fact, the short percentage has only gone up. And now, on the threshold of 2021, we all sit atop a massive powder keg wondering what is going to be the thing that finally lights this shit up. And at the end of this little missive, I’m going to tell you what I think that thing might be (Spoiler: It’s Ryan Cohen! Better start getting used to seeing his name, Jim, because this dude does not fuck around and he’s not going anywhere).
https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/k4csaa/the_real_greatest_short_burn_of_the_century_part/
https://twitter.com/RodAlzmann
https://thecollective.finance/2020/10/gamestop-gme-a-squeeze-to-44-from-14-can-be-justified-fundamentally-100-of-the-shares-are-short-watch-out/
Part 2: GameStop Isn’t Going Bankrupt and People Actually Want to Buy Shit There
So, you foul mouthed little prick, a bonkers-ass short interest is neat and all, but why is Jim Cramer wrong when Jim Cramer compares GME to Blockbuster you might be asking yourself in the third person. First, the most obvious answer, Jim, which you should fucking know already: Blockbuster was nearly $1 Billion in debt and missing debt payments left and right when it was delisted way back in 2010. That was also when there was a bit of a credit crunch, if you recall, right after that whole Housing Crash Unpleasantness that you saw coming from a mile away and from which you made hundreds of millions of dollars due to your contrarian foresight—I’m sorry, I’m clearly confusing you with Christian Bale starring as Dr. Michael Burry, weirdo head of Scion Asset Management, which also holds about 1.4M shares of GME (You really gotta start looking into this stuff, Jim. This story is made for TV, man—and you Boomers were raised by TV and you turned out TV!). Also, in 2010 when Netflix is ripping and when Blockbuster was about to be delisted and bankrupt, an analyst noted the obvious fact that Blockbuster had “nothing on the horizon that makes it look like Blockbuster is going to be more profitable.”
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-blockbusteblockbuster-wins-debt-reprieve-forced-to-delist-idUSTRE66052720100702
But Jim, if your Blockbuster comparison has any plausibility, GameStop must have a major debt problem then, right? And yet just last month GameStop repaid $125M in debt several months ahead of time. It’s also really weird that over the past year management bought back a ton of shares, taking the OS from 102M down to just under 70M (making a short squeeze even more likely, my Rocket Children). The weirdness continues with a soon-to-be-bankrupt company holding almost $500M in cash on hand. And according to George Sherman’s “Thine Omnichannel Shalt Be The Omni-est Channel of Them All” Conference Call following Q3, by March 2021 GME will have retired a total of $500M in debt and returned $200M to shareholders through stock buy backs. I’m no expert here, and I do not presently own a Beep-Bop-Boop Machine, but that’s all pretty weird shit to be doing if you’re about to go bankrupt.
No, no – I get it: who the fuck actually looks at balance sheets anyway before spouting off about what a stock is going to do? I sure as hell don’t. That’s why I follow my man u/Uberkikz11, since that dude is a GME DD Encyclopedia and was born to crunch numbers. No, when Really Smart People make the Blockbuster comparison, it’s usually just Mouth Sounds for: A B&M Store That Used to Be Popular But Now Is Not Because Technology, QED. But here even the Really Smart People might be missing something as well. They’re right in the sense that GME must use this new console cycle window and cash influx to quickly pivot to a tech-first gaming company (more on that and our boy RC shortly!), but they’re wrong on the timing and relevance of this Super Smart Insight.
So fine, they’re doing ok on debt and cash. But who even goes to that 90s-Ass-Looking Cluttered Mall Geekery anymore anyways? I confess: in my darkest moments, as the short sellers manipulate the fuck out of this stock and I curse the names Bell and Sherman, I too have wondered this. But it turns out that, just like I have no idea why anyone listens to Maroon 5 or eats at Applebee’s, apparently a lot of people in America do shit that I do not. Crazy huh? So here is some pretty neat data showing us how out of touch we might be here, Jim:
First, when a pretty large sample size of people were recently asked the question: which of the following stores or websites do you plan to buy holiday gifts from? The #5 response from United States Americans was none other than GameStop (Ticker, Jim: GME). Only Walmart, Amazon, Target, and Dollar Store (poor people buy gifts too, Jim) were ahead of little old GameStop. That’s higher than Nike, Macy’s, the Apple Store—and double the response of Bed Bath and Fucking Beyond in every category they surveyed. Check it: (h/t to my man u/snowk88)
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/260983915
That’s kinda crazy huh? See Jim, when you Think Young(TM), you really can learn something new every day. And by following our man u/snowk88 (@snowk88 over at stocktwits), I learn lots of cool shit. But guess who already knew that? The guy that wrote this bad-ass letter that identifies GME’s brand and customer data as being one of the most valuable things GME has going for it. https://s.wsj.net/public/resources/documents/RC_Ventures_Letter_to_GameStop.pdf
So now we know that Real Life People actually buy shit at GameStop here in the year of our lord 2020. But like that analyst from 2010 said about Blockbuster, there must not be anything on the horizon for GameStop to be more profitable in 2021, right?
Now, I will admit that being a bit bearish on GME in December of 2020 would make more sense if, say, GameStop were the nation’s largest purveyor of limp and half-lit pumpkin spice-scented candles and we were exiting the apogee of Shitty Candle Season. But as it turns out, GameStop is currently selling basically the most sought-after items that exist in the marketplace right now—where demand for the Xbox and Ps5 is far outpacing supply and is projected to continue well into 2021. https://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2020-11-17-microsoft-expects-xbox-series-x-s-shortages-until-q2-2021 I don’t really need to get into the details on that here, because it’s pretty goddamn obvious, but I think 2020 GameStop at the precipice of a new console cycle might be in a bit of a better position than, say, 2010 Blockbuster relying on the latest Adam Sandler release to lift its sagging rental numbers. But I don’t know. Millions of people don’t watch my show looking for Candid Analysis from me and my folksy man-of-the-people-lookin’ rolled-up sleeves.
Part 3: Ryan Cohen is the Sword of Damocles Hanging Over the Short Sellers’ Dumbass Heads
And now we’ve gotten to the best part. It’s my favorite part of all of this, Jim, and if you give this a little time, I think it will be yours too. You see, all that corporate bla bla bla about balance sheets and console cycles and early debt repayment and overleveraged short sellers and brand recognition is neat and all—and definitely worth a second look by itself. Maybe even a little Beep-Bop-Boop on the ol’ sound machine—I don’t know your methods. But the real thing that’s about to rip all our faces off here is the business and investment decisions of a mild-mannered wunderkind named Ryan Cohen.
Now you can revisit my prior epistle if you want to know a bit more about the involvement of Mr. Ryan Cohen in Le Affair GameStop. https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/kakxrm/gme_tribe_a_story_about_how_ryan_cohen_is_about/. My fly-by-night theory of his lawyer’s possible use of the consent solicitation could have probably marinated for another day, but the thrust of my argument there was that Cohen and his attorney have been laying the groundwork to come after GameStop for a while now. And that Cohen was likely emboldened by the humiliating, lame-ass CC performance by some dude with a mid-century comic-strip sounding name that we’ll all soon know only as: The Guy With the Punchable Face Who Used to Be CEO of GameStop.
But here is where things get really interesting. This is a story in the making, Jim, for fucks sake - take notes! This Monday, on December 21, Mr. Ryan Cohen filed a revised 13D showing that last week he started buying a shit-ton of shares—starting on Tuesday December 15th—which is the day after the stock price inexplicably plunged on Monday the 14th and the very same day you were yammering on the teevee about GME being Blockbuster! Instead of listening to you, however, Cohen started buying more GME shares (super-sleuth dark pool watchers u/rgrAi and u/snowk88 noticed in real-time that there was some very large accumulation taking place), which culminated in the big reveal that Cohen purchased a total of 2,501,000 additional shares last week—500,000 of which were purchased on Friday December 18, 2020 at the price of $16.02 a share. Ryan Cohen is still the single largest shareholder of GME with 9,001,000 shares in total, taking his ownership of GME above the 10% threshold from 9.98% to 12.9%. And so he apparently thinks that the floor for his investment is $16.02 per share. Is he still buying? We’ll know soon. But yesterday seemed like a little taste of what it might look like if a large buyer steps in to prevent short sellers from manipulating all of my nervous little Rocket Children here and their delicate little paper hands.
There was another thing we learned from this 13D filing: Ryan Cohen has apparently hired a new attorney and law firm. Instead of the great Christopher Davis of Kline Kaplan, now Ryan Cohen is represented by Ryan P. Nebel, a partner with Olshan Frome Wolosky, LLP. Now, if you’re familiar with my prior ramblings, you might wonder if I was a bit confused, and maybe even a little sad, at this sudden change from my man C. Davis. And you might be a little right. But then the wonder of the internet allowed me to learn a bit about these new lawyers. And holy shit, things are about to get fun.
Now, I liked what I knew about Chris Davis and he seems like a genuine bad ass activist attorney. But the folks at Olshan Frome and Wolosky, LLP are Next Level Players and really seem tailor-made for this exact situation. First off, Olshan is ranked as the top global lawfirm for Activist Attorneys. https://www.olshanlaw.com/assets/htmldocuments/Bloomberg%20Activism%20League%20Tables%20H12020.pdf (H/t @flummoxed at stocktwits). They seem to be the go-to law firm for major proxy battles initiated by activist investors. But possibly even more important is that Olshan is the same firm that represented Hestia and Permit in their successful proxy battle earlier this year to appoint two new directors to the GME Board. I’m not going into the fine details of that, because this is already a bit of a long-form Idiot’s New Yorker article, but GameStop just went through a proxy fight last year with Activist Investors Hestia Capital and Permit Capital, which resulted in two Board seats for our shareholder buds from Hestia and Permit. So, it’s reasonable to assume that the attorneys at Olshan might know their way around GameStop at this point and where the pressure points are here.
http://www.globallegalchronicle.com/hestia-capital-and-permit-capitals-two-new-directors-to-the-gamestop-board/
https://www.olshanlaw.com/resources-mentions-HestiaCapital-PermitCapital-GameStop-BoardofDirectors-ShareholderActivism.html
And if you follow u/snowk88 over at stocktwits (@snowk88)— you’d also find a wealth of DD on how Olshan rolls when entering these activist-investor-replaces-dumbass-boards-and-CEOs type disputes. To bottom line it: they get it fucking done.
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266158534
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266155112
https://stocktwits.com/snowk88/message/266153175
But what else did we learn from the 13D? We learned that Ryan Cohen is definitely not going anywhere any time soon. Specifically, the filing notes that RC Ventures intends to continue to engage in discussions with GameStop’s board “regarding means to drive stockholder value, including through changes to the composition of the board and other corporate governance enhancements." And while RC Ventures “desires to come to an amicable resolution with [GameStop, it] will not hesitate to take any actions that it believes are necessary to protect the best interests of all stockholders.”
I really like that last part, don’t you? And although I thought his November 16th letter was pretty goddamn clear, this 13D just ratcheted up the transparency level here. In sum, Ryan Cohen has all of our backs and he’s going to replace this Board and Sherman with people that are on the level and that will help implement his vision.
And now seems like a good time to return to those “Ryan Cohen: Boy Genius” articles that were definitely NOT part of a well-coordinated pre-hostile takeover media campaign initiated earlier this year. I think there might be a few things in those articles that Mr. Cohen wanted all of us shareholders (as well as the short sellers and the Board he’s about to replace) to really and truly understand. Recall also that Cohen is not one for diversification or for playing it safe. So here’s a few choice nuggets for you to ponder:
***
Bloomberg, June 2020: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-06-05/chewy-founder-cashes-out-bets-on-apple-wells-fargo
· "It's too hard to find, at least for me, what I consider great ideas," he says. "When I find things I have a lot of conviction in, I go all-in."
· Cohen uses the word “conviction” a lot. He says it’s something he learned from his father, who ran a glassware importing business in Montreal where Cohen grew up. “He taught me how to block the noise from the masses,” says Cohen. “To have a point of view and have conviction and not waver.”
· He wouldn’t, however, recommend his [non-diversified] investment approach to everyone. “You need to have the temperament to block the noise,” he says. “Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster.”
· He likens his obsessive focus on building Chewy to his approach to stock picking. "I don't want to swing for a single," he says.
***
You hear that, Jim? Our man Cohen likes idioms too! But fuck those farm idioms, Jim – we’re upgrading to the Sportsball kind now. So what’s the takeaway here? I’d say that Cohen has his Eye On The Ball and that it’s time for all short sellers and the Board to Throw in The Towel because Ryan Goddamn Cohen likes to Take the Bull By The Horns and will ensure that he Hits a Homerun for shareholders that believe in his vision.
Here’s a few more things Mr. Cohen wants all of us to know:
***
Forbes, August 2020: https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackfriedman/2020/08/16/entrepreneur-chewy-founder-ryan-cohen-shares-his-best-advice/?sh=41e1370e5840
· “For me, each no sounded like they just didn’t understand my vision. It was frustrating at times, but never discouraging. Those ‘no’s never made me doubt my strategy – it was the opposite. I was motivated by all the rejections and they just got me fired up.”
· “I understood that thinking big was likely going to be misunderstood along the way. I’m contrarian by nature, so being misunderstood often validates what I’m doing. It wasn’t until Chewy boxes were on doorsteps across the country that the bulk of investors started to recognize our formula.”
· “[M]y biggest risk would have been not taking risk. The risk of going head-to-head against Amazon. The risk of insourcing fulfillment. The risk of building a company in Florida rather than a popular tech hub. The risk of spending $3 million a month on TV ads, more than Home Depot HD -0.1%'s budget. The risk of hiring expensive executives even though we weren’t profitable. These decisions were some of the most controversial and required me being comfortable betting against conventional wisdom, and were often contrary to the advice of my board. Suffice it to say, I was not the most popular board member.”
· “Dad never swayed when he believed in something. I never compromised my vision, regardless how many investors turned me down I was not going to give up on building Chewy into the world’s biggest online pet retailer. I love to be challenged, and I’m flexible on details, but I’m never willing to give up.”
***
Goddamn it, Ryan. I was done having children but now you’ve forced me into getting back on that train just so I can name this future child Ryan Fucking Cohen. Thanks a lot, asshole.
But to return to my point: are those the statements of a man that seems likely to walk away at this point? Or is Cohen trying to tell us all to get ready because he is going All In on this shit?
So where does this leave us? After a huge week where Cohen buys 2.5M more shares and then the SP skyrockets to $20 yesterday on that news? Well, this is where I want to tip my cap to my man Justin Dopierala over at Seeking Alpha and allow him to conclude this section. He, along with his pal Dmitriy Kozin have been pretty clear-eyed on all this shit for a while now and they both deserve some credit. And I know I gave my main man Justin a bit of a hard time in my last novella, but the dude is sharp as hell and helped a lot of us see the forest through the trees here. And you should also definitely invite him to join your poker nights (seriously: check out the dude’s tweet in response to our own Rod Alzmann’s introduction of the #WeWantCohen hashtag right after the Q3 call debacle). https://twitter.com/DOMOCAPITAL/status/1336446055685230592. You have no comment on a potential takeover involving Ryan Cohen, Justin after your hour-long googly-eyed call together? Can’t believe you’re just preemptively leaving the WSJ and Bloomberg hanging like that. Justin, I love you dude, but if I’m holding pocket Kings I’m folding after that tweet because that twinkle in your eye lets me know you’re about to drop two Aces on my ass.
Anyway. Here is what our man Dopierala thinks might happen here soon (and he called this way back on November 17th- and sorry - no links here, per the mods, as apparently no Alpha must ever be Sought from these parts):
I think a very likely outcome at this point is a majority slate next shareholder meeting where Cohen takes over BOD and then makes himself CEO. A majority slate proxy battle would require all institutions to call in shares and would force a squeeze.
We’re intrigued, Justin. Please continue:
If Ryan Cohen successfully negotiates a purchase price with the Board then the shareholders will have to vote on it. Unlike the proxy battle where Hestia and Permit were running a minority slate of directors, an offer to purchase GameStop would force institutions like Vanguard and Blackrock to call in their shares. By doing so, the shorts would be forced to close out their positions and GameStop would finally have the greatest short squeeze of all-time. Ironically, Cohen could use this opportunity to sell all of his shares and use the proceeds to entirely fund the acquisition of GameStop going down as the first person in history to acquire a billion dollar company... for absolutely nothing. In fact, his acquisition price would be less than zero.
And now is when I get to speculate on what I think is going to happen here. But I do not necessarily think Cohen is going to put an offer to buy GME to take private. That would definitely trigger a MOASS, but I’m not sure I see it given the attorneys he’s hired and his recent buys up to $16 and the amount of cash that would take. Like Dopierala’s first comment, though, I think Cohen is going to nominate directors to replace nearly the entire Board of Directors with a vote happening at the annual meeting and once that Board is in place, they’ll appoint Cohen as CEO. And as Justin notes, if he nominates a majority slate of directors, shares will have to be called in to vote. And this vote and proxy battle will make the prior minority slate Hesita/Permit battle, and the tiny short squeeze that took place when that happened, look tame by comparison.
Now everyone: get your calendars out. Because the date to nominate directors here is in Mid-March, and my super-smart corporate lawyer buds inform me that it’s standard practice to file about 7-10 days prior. So, if this actually happening, we should be seeing something on this by early March.
But even though early March is now the mark on the wall, today’s insane price action caused me to think about all of this a bit harder and speculate a bit more. And a major h/t to my buds on the stocktwits board, especially u/rgrAi (@amarbar) for all the sharp analysis on this. But if you were Ryan Cohen and you knew this company was hugely undervalued and you had a high level of CONVICTION here and also knew you needed shareholder votes to sweep out these dumbasses and implement your vision—then how would you play this with the short interest here as crazy as it is? I’d keep buying. Why? Well, lots of reasons, you smart alecks.
First, so I have more guaranteed votes (duh?). Second, so that when the building starts burning and short hedge funds run for the exits they find that a mild-mannered Millennial with super-good ideas has sealed off all the doors and windows. That’s gruesomely delicious, isn’t it? Why else, CPT? Well, finally, and maybe most importantly, because I would want to excite and delight all my fellow shareholders by triggering a slow-burn short squeeze, raising the SP significantly, so that I can once again make the point (as he did in the Nov 16 letter) that the incompetent management that caused a HUGE drop in SP following that utterly incompetent Q3 call and the shelf registration, had nothing to do with the SP increase that again happened once Cohen announced his intent and started buying. Not the console cycle, not the cost containment measures, not the buybacks and not the early debt reduction. Nope: rightly or wrongly, shareholders will see Ryan Cohen buying shares and the corresponding SP increase and everyone—especially all new buyers who are delighted at their good fortune and swept up by Ryan Cohen Fever 2021—will start getting #WeWantCohen tattoos on their ass they’ll be so happy. And all of us, newly enriched by Ryan Cohen’s Big Canadian Balls and tactical brilliance, will crawl over glass to vote for him over The Boomer Artist Formally Known As GameStop’s CEO. I could be very wrong on this last point in particular, but if we start seeing 13Ds drop here shortly, things should get very fun very quickly.
Part 4: A Return to Our Short-Squeeze-to-Da-Moon Discussion: Who’s Side Are You Fucking On, Jim?
Now, Jim, given the fast friendship we’re creating here, and all we’ve been through over the past 5000 words, I hesitate in bringing this up. But we’ve all seen the video, Jim. You know the one I’m talking about. Yes, the one where you actually tell the truth about how short selling hedge funds manipulate the market to knock down the price of perfectly good securities that many hard-working people invest in—many normal-ass people all assuming they wont ever have to Point Where On The Dolly The Invisible Hand of the Economy Touched Them. But that’s not life now is it Jim? And fuck those poor-ass rubes for not knowing how to play the game with you sophisticated Masters of the Universe, amirite?
https://www.reddit.com/dashpay/comments/93evx4/jim_cramer_reveals_dirty_tricks_short_sellers_use/
https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2007/03/20/cramer-market-manipulato
So where are you in this whole GME/Cohen story, Jim? You candidly (gleefully?) acknowledge that a prime strategy that shorts deploy is to spread negative rumors that are then amplified by Big Smart Trustworthy Financial Media Titans like yourself to shake out unsophisticated retail players like my Rocket Kids here—who because of their tiny paper hands and you mean short selling brutes often subsist on paste and paste alone.
So for this particular security, are you the one helping with the manipulation and actively creating the “new truth” or are you just one of the Useful Idiots that these short sellers use to manipulate with an anodyne, TV media-ready comparison like: GameStop Is The Next Blockbuster? And how in the fuck does this fit into your Think Young(TM) project, Jim? Because if there is one thing that we over at WSB fucking hate, it’s a bunch of Manipulative Short Selling Boomer Fuckwads. Why on earth would a hip Young Thinker like you want to be included in that crew, Jim?
And I know we’re all friends here now, Jim, but I need to push back a bit on some of what you said in that video in such a cavalier whatareyagonnado manner. So if I understand you, short and distort and fomenting negative reactions from retail players based on deliberately false narratives is illegal, but still easy as fuck to do "because the SEC doesn't understand it." But you fucking do understand it, Jim! So why are you helping those short and distorters break the law here? Why are you being such an obtuse dumbshit? Just check out what happens to the borrow rate and short selling every time there is any good news for GME:
https://stocktwits.com/Slantedangles/message/264519950 (h/t @slantedangles). This manipulation isn't just happening with GME; it is happening everywhere. It’s baked into the cake. And that is pretty fucked up that we all just accept it because whatareyagonnado.
I think that one thing that those of us who truly do Think Young(TM) have a hard time understanding is at what point in your lives do you Boomers all finally come to realize that it’s maybe time to stop playing the game like you have been? What point do you finally have enough where doing the right thing matters more than getting paid? Maybe start by telling the truth more often—and maybe don’t go out of your way to help those corrupt-ass hedge fund managers who continually fuck over average people merely because they were stupid enough to believe you all. What contempt you Masters of the Universe have for all of them—for all of us. There is a bigger story here on GME and this out-of-control short interest (naked shorting, counterfeit shares) http://counterfeitingstock.com/CS2.0/CounterfeitingStock.html than even Ryan Cohen and the inevitable short squeeze we’re about to witness here. And it begins and ends with people like you and Melvin Capital and Bank of America not giving a fuck about the rules while thinking you’re smarter than the rest of us who do—but who lack power to do anything about it. And you know what? Maybe you are smarter than us. You certainly know how to play this game pretty well, as that video shows. But if I know my old school 1980s movies like I think I do, this is usually the part of the story where the rag-tag kids from across the tracks come over to show you hubristic rich fuckheads what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
Now I myself have never dabbled in pacifism, Jim, so this isn’t too much of a stretch for me, but seeing that video of yours and seeing the insane short interest and all the manipulation here makes me want to burn the whole corrupt system to the ground—while barricading the doors to trap in those arrogant-ass short sellers who lie and cheat and distort to profit off average people. And though I’m certain that this larger battle is not driving him, maybe that result is one that Ryan Cohen wouldn’t mind too. Though he’s a polite Canadian and would probably just let everyone know that he’s not really mad, just disappointed. But me? I’m an Angry American and I say: Block the fucking doors and windows and light that shit up.
So maybe this epistle will be useful for your Think Young(TM) project and cause you to reflect a bit more on what’s really going on out there with this whole GME thing and the likely illegal shorting that has driven the short percentage of float to these insane levels, drawing in new retail shorts too stupid to know what’s even happening. Or maybe it wont cause you to reflect in the slightest (count me as one of those cynical types that see your overtures to WSB as a transparent play for greater market share from the Young Crowd since your old-ass audience is dying and/or switching to bonds). But in a few months when all the Billy Ray Valentines and Louis Winthorpes assembled here are toasting each other in stupid shirts on a white-sand beach somewhere, we do not want you to look back on your knee-jerk boomer-ass dismissal of GME and your Useful Idiot blathering with that same tinge of regret and longing you feel when you look at a pre-Client 9 picture of you and your old roomie: warm-toes-and-hosiery-enthusiast E. Spitzer, Esq.
In conclusion: GME = Blockbuster comparisons are for Simps and Corrupt Short-and-Distorters. Don’t be like them, Jim. And to my Rocket Children: the only weapon we wield in this stupid game is Diamond Hands with a float like this. Toughen the fuck up.
And Happy Holidays everyone.
--CPT Hubbard
TL/DR: Jim Cramer likes farm-based idioms and apparently being a useful idiot to scummy short selling hedge funds. DD on the GME turnaround is solid and overleveraged short sellers should be shitting themselves. Ryan Cohen, our polite, hard-working Canadian benefactor is about to rip all our fucking faces off and trigger a MOASS. Probably even by early March, if that time is good for you (he’ll text before he comes). And fuck infinite regress: It’s rockets all the way down here. 🚀🚀🚀 Now: diamond hands, motherfuckers.
**This is a shitpost and is only to be used as investment and life advice for Mr. Jim Cramer, Esq.

Hey guys, it’s Coooolin!! Does anyone know what day it is? Anyoneee? Anyone at alll!? I guess, I’m gonna guess the day... guess what day it is....guess what day it is.... HUUMMPP DAYYY! We’re halfway thru a brand new week of the brand new month! Can you believe it!? Wild! How’s everyone’s week so far!? Let me know, doownn belooww!
Here’s the new cards for today, Thanks EA! :)

Team of The Week

February 3 - February 10
(Its filthy!)

Forwards

LW - C - RW
Line 1
Connor McDavid - 94 OVR - EDM / C - GLA¹ , WH¹
Leon Draisaitl - 95 OVR - EDM / C - LTL¹ , MAG¹
Claude Giroux - 91 OVR - PHI / C - PP¹ , WM¹
Line 2
James Van Riemsdyk - 89 OVR - PHI / LW - HOW¹ , T¹
Joonas Donskoi - 83 OVR - COL / RW - LTL¹ , WM¹
David Perron - 86 OVR - STL / LW - SPE¹ , MAG¹
Line 3
Brandon Saad - 86 OVR - COL / LW - PP¹ , T¹
Carter Verhaeghe - 83 OVR - FLA / C - SH¹ , WH¹
Nathan Bastian - 78 OVR - NJD / C - SWA¹ , SPE¹
Line 4
Chris Didomenico - 80 OVR - FRI / RW - BAL¹ , GLA¹
Hannes Björninen - 80 OVR - PEL / C - BAR¹ , HOW¹
Per Åslund - 79 OVR - FAR / RW - SPA¹ , MAG¹

Defence

LD - RD
Line 1
Quinn Hughes - 88 OVR - VAN / LD - LTL¹ , WM¹
John Carlson - 91 OVR - WAS / RD - PP¹ , SH¹
Line 2
Rasmus Ristolainen - 87 OVR - BUF / RD - SH¹ , WH¹
Tyson Barrie - 87 OVR - EDM / RD - GLA¹ , HOW¹
Line 3
Tyson Hinds - 78 OVR - OCE / LD - SPA¹ , SH¹
Jan Lattner - 78 OVR - INN / LD - BAR¹ , SPE¹

Goalies

Thatcher Demko - 87 OVR - VAN / G - 6’4” / 192 lbs - SWA¹ , DIS¹
Vitek Vanecek - 80 OVR - WAS / G - 6’1” / 187 lbs - DIS¹ , H and S¹
———

Primetimes

NHL

Joe Pavelski - 89 OVR - DAL / C - PP¹ , WM¹
Tyler Toffoli - 88 OVR - MTL / RW - LTL¹ , MAG¹ ... FIIILTTHY GOALL
Vince Dunn - 87 OVR - STL / LD - HOW¹ , WH¹
Jesse Puljujarvi- 86 OVR - EDM / RW - SPE¹ , SH¹
Jordan Staal - 85 OVR - CAR / C - GLA¹ , T¹ ... 95 FOs
Warren Foegele - 84 OVR - CAR / LW - WM¹ , SH¹
Valeri Nichushkin - 83 OVR - COL / RW - MAG¹ , WH¹
Laurent Brossoit - 82 OVR - WPJ / G - 6’3” / 204 lbs - BAR¹ , BAL¹
Nicholas Deslauriers - 82 OVR - ANA / LW - PP¹ , LTL¹
Derek Forbort - 82 OVR - WPJ / LD - HOW¹ , SH¹

Other Leagues

Thomas Wellinger - 79 OVR - LUG / LD -
Lassi Lehtinen - 79 OVR - LUK / G -
• • • • • • • • • • - - - - - - - - - • • • • • • • • • • • •

Packs Available

1D / 23H
• Mega Players Pack - 50k C / 1k P
30 items , all Gold Players , with at least 5 80+ OVR Players
• NHL Players Pack - 30k C / 600 P
10 items, all Gold NHL players with at least 4 80+ OVR Players
• Jumbo Premium Pack - 15k C / 300 P
20 items , at least 9 players with at least 4 Gold Players

P.S.

• New TOTW - February 3 - February 10
• Squad Battles Resets - Today at 5pm EST
• Rivals Rewards - Today at 5pm EST ... what did you get

Hockey News

• Hockey in History
• Sabres postpone games

Stock Market News

• Stocks are all mixed up
• Pot Stocks are winners today!

Other News

• 3 Beginner CAD Stocks
• Vancouver’s only day of sun
——————

What’s to Come?

• Squad Battles Rewards - Tomorrow at 5pm EST
• New Game Modes HUT RUSH - Tomorrow at 5pm EST
• Silver Upgrades for 3 - 86 OVR - Bronze Icons - Tomorrow at 5pm EST
• MORE EVENT CARDS! - Friday at 5pm EST
—————

Summary of the day

Quick Read
Best Forward of the Day - TOTW - is LEEOONN DRAAIISAAITLL OVR 95 with the syn LIIGHTTT THE LAAMPP and MAGIICIAAN
Best Defence of the Day - TOTW - is JOHHNN CARLSSON OVR 91 with the syn PAASSINN PLAAAYMAKERRR and SHUUTTT DOOWNN
/////
Best Forward of the Day - PT - is JOOOEEE PAVELSSKII OVR 89 with the syn PASSINN PLAYYMAKERRR and WOORKKHORSEEE
Best Defence of the Day - PT - is VIINCEE DUNNN OVR 87 with the syn HOOWWITZERR and WOOORKK HORSEEE
• NEW TOTW!
• Squad Battles Resets - Where did you place? I didn’t play any! Lol!
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Important Notice

Don’t be ashamed to be yourself. Don’t try and be someone else, don’t try and change yourself for someone... cos the right people? Will like you for you. No one will like you if you act happy all the time, you don’t have any problems, and life is 110% stress free.
Be open. Have an open mindset, let down your walls, and let people know who you are. It’s scary - but its worth it. They’ll either love you, or hate you... but the thing that matters most is that you’re your true self.
Be you. Be true....just be yourself, and I promise you!!! You will get SO far!
Do not fake being someone else - you’ll feel like you always have to be that “person” all the time in order for people to like you... just be YOU! m
Love you all.
Take care.
You matter, and remember to smile; even if you cant — it’ll make you happier!!

Interested in Stocks?

EA’s Stock Price, after hours - Feb 3
$ 140.82 (usd) —- Currency Converter
we looked at the stock at $137.54 usd
—— That is a difference of ( $3.28 / 2.38% ) —
Ouch, quite a giant dip... either hold, or buy the dip if you believe in EA
EA’s Q3 Earnings
Disclaimer - I am not a financial advisor. It is your money, please do your own due diligence. I am not responsible for your money. This is *not** advice. Your capital is at risk. I added this section for an added educational purposes only. Thanks*
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NEED A SOUNDTRACK TO LISTEN TO?

• I made this for everyone. I’ll update it whenever I feel like it, but its been often!

WE’RE AT 1200+ SONGS! WOW! How are you not listening to this playlist already!?
Comment songs to add, and please give feedback! It’s much appreciated!!
I currently have “Sk8r Boi” by “Avril Lavigne” stuck in my head.... which you can play, recently added to the playlist!
Sidenote - How do you guys like the playlist!? I have a friend who makes music...and I really want to surprise him with some new people listening to his music... if you wanna help me, please click Here!! it would mean a lot to me!!
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Sites To Bookmark!

If you click here you will be redirected to bilasport. Bilasport is the best Online Streaming site for your entertainment needs for all sports! (Not affiliated)
A great streaming source recommended by NHLStreams is SurgeSport. Click on Hockey and you’ll be good to go!
Want to make your dream team, and show others what you’ve been working on, and much more? I will redirect you HERE!.
Here’s a helpful pack guide for you! Click!
Want to know how the market is holding up? With a simple TAP! you will be on the newly fresh made website for the HUT market, made by one of the guys on the sub!
.... what do the stats on a card mean? Is my card I want / pulled good? Click here to find out!!
When is my favourite team playing? When do they play!? Here you can click on this link, and tap on your favourite team. From there, tap “Schedule” . You can add this to your homescreen on iPhone by clicking the square with the upwards arrow, scrolling down, and tapping “Add to Home Screen”
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Fighting a Gambling Addiction?

Don’t feel scared to click here. Winning is SO much louder than losing. Know that you are NEVER alone. We are all here for eachother, and it is never too late to get help. I am here for you.
This is a VERY important thread, especially if you are new to HUT. Here!

Story Time!!!

Yes I know I haven’t posted one in awhile
This will be a personal story time.
I don’t really know who reads all this far orr nott, but!
Lately I’ve been feelin pretty anxious and worried about my dad and his job... he’s off now (with pay, thankfully) until he finds a new place to help build... whether that be far away, or closeby, I just personally want him to be happy. He’s not used to being at home - and him being home with me is - lol - pretty weird... I think he’s going bored out of his mind already.. not too sure!
I don’t really talk much to my dad, nor does he talk a lot to me... but like I know he obviously cares, and loves me. — is every dad like that? Not really talkative?! lol —
Anywho! I just hope he’s proud of me, and that he gets a job closeby to where we live...
Hah, thanks for reading this lil “story” ... I guess I should just put it as “Coolin’s Thoughts” for today !
I appreciate your time.
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34 / 365
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Thanks for reading. I appreciate your time.
I’m always welcome to feedback, please let me know what I can improve on.
If there’s anything missing, please let me know!
Take care, happy gaming! TODAY IS NATIONAL MISSING PEOPLES DAY ... and NATIONAL CARROT CAKE DAY
• Coolin Killin It
(Life is like a puzzle, you just have to find the right piece.)

Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.
Sun Tzu, Art of War
Everything was for tomorrow, but tomorrow never came. The present was only a bridge and on this bridge they are still groaning, as the world groans, and not one idiot ever thinks of blowing up the bridge.
Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn
I was wrong! Blow the bridge! Blow the fucking bridge!
Tugg Speedman, Tropic Thunder
Hello again GME Gang! It’s been a while since I last ranted at you, but I know we’ve been in some very good hands here at WSB with all the great DD folks have posted over the past few weeks. So no need for CPT Hubbard to go for 11 again on the Thumbscroll Dial (until today, that is). I’ve enjoyed a lot of these posts very much, so thank you on behalf of myself and the attention-deficient Rocket Children for continuing to deliver that 100% Chaff-Free GME-grade Wheat at such a feverish clip.
Now, I am going to get to Hong Kong’s Lamest Outlaw and his disconcertingly vacant eyes here shortly. But first I want to take you on a journey back to Christmas Eve, in the year of our lord 2020—a heady time in all our lives. We were all so young and innocent then, weren’t we? Fresh off the run up to 22. Blissfully oblivious that we were living in the last moments where the question What is The War of 1812? was the only acceptable Jeopardy question for the answer: The Last Time the Goddamn U.S. Capitol Was Stormed. This was also before we all became irresponsibly overleveraged in Cathie Wood’s Ornamental Gourds ETF. It was a wondrous, confusing time.
But before we get too off topic, let’s all hop in my 1985 DeLorean (purchased with proceeds from my Jan 15 calls – thanks RC!), fire up the ol’ Flux Capacitor, and get that shit to 88 because something happened that evening that is Worth Pondering—particularly in light of recent events. And just as a friendly reminder: even though you’re going back in time in a DeLorean, no one here has to deviate funds away from GME shares to Save the Clock Tower and you are under no obligation to fulfill a scenario where you wind up making out with your Mom (unless your Mom is Cathie Wood like mine—in which case maybe just some quick over-the-clothes stuff).
On the Subject of How It Once ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas
So what in the holy fuck happened on the night before Christmas, Captain? Well, while all you Gentiles were sleeping soundly after lying to your children about benign home intruders and before gorging yourself on the teat of late-stage capitalism, me and the rest of the Chosen People were up late eating Chinese food and thinking about tendies (self-hating Jew Joke! Ba-zing!). But then: when out on the electric twitter machine there arose such a clatter, I sprang to my phone to see what was the matter. And what to my wondering eyes did appear, a mysterious tweet from a Rich-Ass Viking who had a lot of fucking interesting things to say about this whole GME situation that’s what.
This tweet, buried as a reply to a tweet sent by Mr. Rod Alzmann (@RodAlzmann or u/Uberkikz11), simply said: “Merry Christmas. Shhh.” But it included this screen shot:
[**Image Deleted Due to the Mods - check the link below where someone transcribed it - I'll try to add later**]
Now, this tweet to Rod, sent late at night and likely after a strong Mead or three, was very promptly deleted. But your intrepid cub reporter saw this here tweet that night with his own two eyes—seeing as I am a degenerate GME addict and devoted follower of Mr. Rod Alzmann (Hi Rod!). And I took screenshots, of course, like any responsible records custodian might. And so did the dude who wrote a somewhat-overlooked WSB post on this, which included the most pertinent text of the message if you are having trouble reading it here:
https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/kk0omp/christmas_miracle_gamergate_2020_gme_shorts/
Now, what are we to make of this? At the time, I thought it was very interesting. But I did not give it too much attention seeing as how the internet is overcrowded with anonymous weirdos claiming to know more than they do about all sorts of subjects (and now I feel your judging eyes…). Also, there was some very good commentary in that WSB post from some sharp folks about the screenshot author’s questionable use of the shorthand PE/IB—given that private equity and investment banks wouldn’t apparently be involved in a behind-the-scenes transaction with the short funds like what was being discussed there (don’t ask me, I just string together silly words here). But maybe you poke around his Twitter a bit and see for yourself.
Still, plausibility assessments based on preferred nomenclature aside, it seemed to me that some version of that conversation had to be taking place behind the scenes in a situation like this—given the batshit insane short interest, the funds supposedly involved, and the rapid rise in SP coinciding with RC’s share accumulation, December 21st amended 13D filing, and new status as a GME Insider and Board member (just love saying all that in a row, don’t you?).
So the Viking’s screenshot tweet, and the very likely possibility that shorts are in so deep that they’re attempting to negotiate peace with large shareholders behind the scenes, stuck in my tiny little baby brain as a pretty plausible set of scenarios. And from the look of it, it seems like some funds were at least willing to discuss offering these shorts a Golden Bridge away from Certain Fucking Destruction on the open market. And if the words on the screenshot are at all aligned with reality, these short funds have no good options.
Yet it seems like they are still playing hardball to negotiate the carat on this generous bridge offer they’re getting. Why? Maybe they’ve been getting high on their own supply for so long and they don’t know how to see this situation for what it is. Who knows? Maybe there is no Ryan Cohen and we’re all living in a simulation. But if the recent low-rent anti-GME articles and market manipulation efforts we’re seeing are any indication, these overleveraged short fuckers seem to think they’re going to be able to spin out of this hold and drive the SP back down to even smaller peanuts than it’s at now by sheer force of will (and some deployment of well-honed tricks of the trade amirite?) to emerge unscathed. Or even victorious? I dunno—it’s their delusional fantasy sequence.
But do you know what this scenario reminds me of? And this is just coming to me so please bear with me as I’m not showing this to my editor before we print (I haven’t seen this movie in ages – don’t know what made me think of this!). Fuck it, I’m just gonna start riffing here. The shorts trying to thread this needle, against all odds and logic and common sense, reminds me of that hilarious scene in Dumb and Dumber where haplessly delusional Jim Carrey thinks he has a chance with Mary Samsonite Swanson. But the scene is funny because he really doesn’t. Have any chance. At all.
Now, I know this is a 1990s movie originally released on VHS that we haven’t seen it or even seen it referenced in ages. But now that you’re thinking of it again after all this time, doesn’t it remind you of this too? I know, I get it: You’d have to have fucking peanuts for brains for it not to.
(https://twitter.com/ryancohen/status/1350877969816956934?s=20)
On the Subject of the Continued Internet Bumbling of Mr. Justin Dopierala
Now that screenshot came to mind this past week when something kind of weird happened while we were all enjoying our quick rocket ship ride. And yes, we are briefly going to talk again about Seeking Alpha’s second finest pro-GME author (always been more of a Dmitriy man myself) and recurring CPT Hubbard character, Justin Dopierala (and no, Angela, I do not want to have like 10,000 of his babies).
Last Thursday, after we were all virtually high-fiving one another and counting our future Lambos, Mr. Justin Dopierala, head of Domo Capital and longstanding uber-bull GME shareholder and author at Seeking Alpha (last seen arguing pithily with our own Rod Alzmann about the conservative nature of Rod’s holiday earnings projections. Hi again Rod!), made it known that he sold all of Domo Capital’s 500,000 shares for around $42.50—at the very top of the run up last Thursday morning.
Now, Domo Capital’s business decisions are none of my goddamn business. And there are plenty of market opportunities right now. Shit, I hear there is even a new Cathie Wood Gourd ETF coming online soon that people are really excited about and that I’m sure Justin’s clients would find intriguing. But Domo’s decision to sell seemed curious given a few things: (1) on Wednesday, when the rocket is mid-flight, he got a twitter follow from Gabe Plotkin, head of Melvin Capital, which he promptly tweeted about with a “get a load of this fuckin’ guy” vibe (oh the sweet, intoxicating arrogance of tendie victory, I too love it so); (2) he had also tweeted that day comparing GME’s rise to Apron’s short squeeze that lasted 4 days—where he also stressed to his followers that Apron had a much lower SI than GME; and (3) he then promptly deleted all of these tweets and almost everything else GME-related on Thursday after apparently introducing 500,000 shares of liquidity into the height of a stressed market up and through the Thursday reversal and down into his own personal tendie town.
Now, after seeing all this, I mouthed off a bit to Justin on the electric twitter machine because that’s kind of my thing. And if you are familiar with my prior ramblings, you know that he and I go way back. In response, Justin talked a bit of shit about your intrepid cub reporter here in a comment on Dimitry Kozin’s October 21, 2020 article about a possible sony revenue share deal or something, the comment section of which has become the preferred SA water cooler over there. (And I can’t link that because Thems The Rulez). And Justin hurt my little feelings a bit with his very sharp denial. And by all means have at it over there to check out his comment about why he sold if you give a shit. That is if Justin hasn’t deleted it yet. Free country and all.
But to summarize, on the subject of treacherous coordination with Melvin Capital, Justin said he would not could not in a boat and he would not could not with a goat. And I for one believe him. And do you know why? Because even though Justin seems like a very smart guy in some ways, he’s also a well-known internet bumbler who blurts out things to his internet friends that a person with better self-control would keep to themselves. And so I do not think he is capable of pulling that off or keeping a secret like that. Also: he said he didn’t so I am more than willing to give someone the benefit of any doubt in that area and you should too. I think we keep Hanlon’s razor firmly in mind here about never attributing to malice that which is explained by stupidity. That is unless, of course, you’re Andrew Left and you’re actually trying to convince people that you didn’t realize there was a US presidential inauguration planned for the same time you announced your Super Important TeeVee Yammerfest ‘21 about GME not being a good candidate for an imminent short squeeze no way no how not if my name isn’t Andrew Left short seller expert extraordinaire and Hong Kong’s Most Misunderstood Ethically-Minded Businessman. You can ascribe the fuck out of malice to that one.
No, even though I really have no idea, I think the most likely thing that happened there was that Gabe Plotkin, Master of the Universe, Head of Melvin Capital, and Acolyte of Perennial Most Ethical Business Man MVP candidate, Steven Cohen—got into Justin’s head when Plotkin followed him on twitter during the 57% (at one point 94%) day last Wednesday and then Justin got a bit chippy about it.
And this is the real reason I’m bringing this up.
Because I honestly care very little about the Nervous Investing Habits of the Wisconsin hedge fund voted most likely to prompt a Mr. Roboto reference. No: I think that Gabe Plotkin sent a message with that follow. Without even ever having to say it directly. And I think that after GME’s huge run and getting a little overexcited while working the twitter machine, Justin maybe had a chance to relax with a warm glass of milk that night and reflect on that message. Which I believe was: I’m watching you, motherfucker. And the only reason I’m paying any attention to some shitstain Wisconsin pseudo-fund on a day like today when I am getting my ass fucking torched is because I want you to know that if this GME shit blows up on me, I’m going to fuck your ass up. I will remember the name Domo Capital forevermore. And when you least expect me, I’ll be there. Now: your move, motherfucker.
And once I realized what might have happened there, that made me feel kinda bad for Justin if he felt that way. Definitely a puss move because fuck you Plotkin I drink your fucking milkshake, right? But bad because that’s a mean message for a business colleague to send, Gabriel. Shame on you if that's how you roll like a big New York bully and scaring our poor Justin like that. And if you just wanted to follow him to shoot the shit or swap listicles and Star Wars Prequel memes with a respected contemporary—even in the very midst of getting fucking annihilated while short GME—well Justin has a totally different account for that and he’s not allowed to access it during work hours.
On The Likelihood That The Most Heavily Shorted Stock in History Is Not Being Subject to Continued Market Manipulation When A Steve Cohen Acolyte Is Losing His Fucking Shirt
Have you heard about Steve Fucking Cohen? The guy who looks like he’s tip top of the list of the premier Hollywood casting agency’s rolodex for Saddest Dipshit Still At the Strip Club After Everyone Else Has Already Gone Home? I’m sorry, that’s mean and my mother told me to always be kind to the truly hideous looking because they’re probably still beautiful on the inside (spoiler alert: he’s not!).
Get a load of this guy:
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2014-01-02/why-sac-capitals-steven-cohen-isnt-in-jail
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2020-09-02/controversial-hedge-fund-billionaire-steven-cohen-takes-on-hollywood
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/steven-a-cohen-among-the-million-dollar-donors-to-trump-inauguration-2017-04-19
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/11/steve-cohen-trump
https://nypost.com/2015/06/17/billionaire-steve-cohen-bros-out-with-guy-fieri/
Are you back? I’ve missed you. That was scary, wasn’t it? But allow me to TL/DR all that for you who decided to avoid all that unpleasantness: the dude just has all this bad luck and keeps finding himself into these really awkward situations where someone could potentially question his commitment to ethical business and life practices as well as adherence to the laws of the United States and it’s just not fair and nothing’s fair and Nice Guy Steve Cohen Is The Victim Here So Just Stop Right There Mister I See What You’re Doing. He's also bros with Guy Fieri. Cool.
But why am I talking about a guy who would so clearly pass Billy Madison’s Final Question about Business Ethics without even breaking a sweat?
Because Steve Cohen once had a young Ace Protegee that he loved very much. With the name of an Archangel, so tender and pure. And one day this young man decided he wanted to Prove Himself and Leave Steve’s Nest. And thus was born Melvin Capital, seeded financially by Steve Cohen but named after famed Crooner Melvin H. Tormé, which Gabe’s esteemed mentor Steve would play in his office, over and over, all those years ago.
Now let’s fast forward a bit because I’m boring myself with all that fucking Cohen reading (the bad Cohen—don’t you dare get anyone confused here). As I was saying: Gabe Plotkin, head of Melvin Capital, has by all accounts gotten himself into a bit of a pickle here being so deeply short GME. Lots of people have analyzed and overanalyzed it, and I’m not going to do it again here; that dead horse is well and truly beaten. But to bottom line it: we’re all just staring down what is essentially an unprecedented math problem that will, at some point, resolve itself. And if it revolves itself in favor of the Good Guys, then the Bad Guys will lose a Fuck-ton of Money. That’s your money block quote, WSJ, so fuck off and stop calling me.
Now: picture yourself as a Steve Cohen acolyte that just bought a $44M Miami Compound and who cannot stop talking about how co-owning the Charlotte Hornets is worth it just for the courtsides alone bro once basketball is a thing again and so what if Michael Jordan keeps calling him Gary it’s close enough. Are you feeling the most financially secure that you have ever felt in your young rich life right about now? Or might you be a wee bit worried that you’ve pursued an investment thesis so reckless, so irrationally and intentionally destructive of equity, that even Melvin H. Tormé himself must be rolling in his fucking grave that you would ever dare put at risk your ability to continue being Michael Jordan’s Gary?
And so here is when I again link my good buddy Jim Cramer’s Great Unveiling of the Tactics Deployed by Short Sellers hoping to change the narrative and construct a “new truth” to suppress the SP in the face of, oh, let’s just say: a very promising turnaround story in a high-growth industry by an e-Commerce Canadian Genius who does not fuck around and who knows what he’s fucking doing and aims to sell more and better video games experiences to crackhead video gamers and there’s a million things he wants to do but just you wait, just you wait.
Is this plot that hard to follow?
And I’ll also say this: I know fuck-all about monitoring order flows or how funds continue to create synthetic shares to short shit into oblivion. But I’m just stepping back and thinking of the broader narrative and tactics on this. Spit-balling here again—bear with me. Now, if you were massively short a security while paying out your ass in borrowing fees for the privilege of entering the most crowded short trade in the market and you’re now opposite a massive business turnaround story, Ryan Cohen, numerous institutions, funds, retail whales, Norwegian HNW Freemason Consortiums, and the energy behind the Finest Rocket Children Ever to Grace Planet Fucking Earth—and you’re taking it in the ass week after week here—Do you then play this straight? Do you set aside all of these illegal and deceptive short tactics Jim Cramer candidly outlines in that video even though they’re impossible to enforce and are in fact not enforced? That Jim basically says you’d be professionally negligent if you were short and didn’t do this shit because fuck it whosgonnastopyou? And now you fucked up and that steamroller is barreling down upon you and there are all these things you could theoretically do try to get yourself out of this jam if you were That Kind of Person? Do you set this all aside and, at least in Jim’s view, tie one hand behind your precious ethical back? On the most heavily shorted stock off all time where you are bleeding Real Life Big-Boy Money? Just buying and selling you know, just a job, honest living, nothing much to it, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, can't get too carried away with it.
Or is it something a little bit fucking different than that?
I don’t know. I’m not in the industry myself. And I would never accuse anyone of doing anything so clearly contrary to the values upon which their professional career as Master of the Universe was built. So Gabe: chill. Don’t follow me or something on twitter man, since for all I know that’s Plotkinese for I Hope You Don’t Mind Sleeping With This Severed Horse Head in Your Bed Motherfucker. It’s just money, dude. You seem pretty well taken care of. But man would I be sweating if I were short right now staring down the barrel of your new neighbor Ryan Cohen’s whims and patience and polite Canadian manners and ambiguous emojis that we all lose our shit for. I mean, fuck man: are you ok? Don’t forget to exercise and eat well during all this. Maybe switch to green tea or something. And remember: you’ll always—always—be Michael Jordan’s Gary.
But here is where we return to our good friend Andrew Left from Citron Research.
Do you remember the excitement you felt this past weekend? I’ve never seen WSB so jacked. People were coming out hot on Tuesday—an uptick day! The new phone book’s here! The new phone book's here! What luck to be free of Gary’s tomfoolery for one fine day. And then GME spiked right away—reaching a high of over $45 that morning.
But then something happened. We all know what it was. But here is where any SEC lookie-loos need to close those Pornhub links and pay closer attention. Because in the moments before the Citron tweet that morning about Andy’s upcoming BuzzFeed Listicle call on Why GME is Scary Investment GRRRR, total short shares available dropped from 1.2M to 0. And a $300K put bet was placed on a weekly with a strike price well over 10% out of the money at the very moment that GME’s price was accelerating rapidly. (H/t u/FatAspirations). That’s some WSB-level shit right there.
And yet they pull it off! GME immediately shoots down nearly 30% intraday, and eventually climbing abck up above 10%, making us all feel a little weird and like ungrateful millennial brats for feeling so shitty about a 10% day. But we all know what fucking happened, now don’t we?
So what can we say about ol’ Andy? Now, many of you know Andy as the dumbshit who shorted TSLA until he was ground into little bits of dumb dumb dust and made to look ever so foolish over and over again until he finally cried drunk uncle and flipped to being long TSLA and now he’s cool to you or whatever. Or you might know him as the guy who puts out really shoddy research that often, by pure happenstance, drives a new narrative to control the orderflow and SP on a WSB-beloved security like PLTR? You know the guy I’m talking about. Once in hot pursuit by Hong Kong fuzz, an International Man of Obviousness with a face that says: why yes, I will have another vodka tonic thankyouverymuch. That’s him.
Well, just like future call-back candidate for the role of Frightened Inmate #2, Mr. Steve Cohen, Andy is also but a Caveman—frightened and confused by your modern concepts of “ethics” and “rules.” No! No!—He’s a straight shooter! Devoted to rooting out obvious frauds, like Lukin Coffee and TSLA (Do not fuck with Elon or my Hot Mom’s ETF, Andy). And like the aspirations of Antoine Bugle Boy when he entered the blue jeans market, Andy saw an overcrowded short trade here based on an overly simplistic and obsolete short thesis about GME and said: “Me Too!” And as this thing is ripping to the stratosphere, Andy starts ringing his dumb dumb twitter bell and saying hear ye, hear ye—Inauguration Day and time it shall be for all my Big Brain thoughts about GME!
Nothing weird about that. No sir.
So Andy Citron or whatever the fuck his name is will be putting out some dumbshit video or something today in what seems to be a pretty clear attempt to scare my poor Rocket Children and get those pesky computers to high frequency this shit to drive the SP down to more acceptable loss levels (cause let’s be honest: they’re still taking a fucking bath here) for Mel Tormé’s namesake hedgefund and all the other cretins that are dug into short position here. And they’re gonna try to scare ya’ with the color red! And they know that no one here likes the color red.
But do see what’s going on here and who we’re dealing with. This really ain’t rocket science, Rocket Children. The dude actually tried to claim he forgot about the Inauguration. In 2021. He has not been in a coma, to the best of my knowledge. But you do look a little bleary eyed, Andy. Must have been all that staying up super late working on those last few bullet points to fill out the powerpoint on that GME listicle of yours, eh sport?
Conclusion: On the Subject of Patience and The Arc of The Universe Bending Toward Ryan Fucking Cohen
In my youth there was a period of time where I went out on boats that would drop crates into the waters of the Arctic. Bundled inside them were raw pieces of meat. In the coming days the boats would head back out to the frigid seas, hook the floats bobbing upon the waters, and pull the crates up. Packed inside would be many crabs. They were so delicious & made a good price at market. The difference between the crate that was empty and the create full of bounty was a mystery even the great physicist Erwin Schrödinger pondered at much length.
But the hearty fishermen of my youth already knew the answer long ago. Why did the trap fill up? Time. In time, all traps fill. In time, all things pondered shall be revealed.
--The Fucking Viking, That’s Who
Now look, you all know I have a soft spot for Ryan Cohen. Hell, we all do. He’s a good dude. And the man has played this flawlessly so far. He really has. The fact that we are all sitting here with Ryan Cohen having successfully negotiated three seats on the Board—a bloodless coup as my man Rod Alzmann says—here in January? It’s amazing. His vision for GME is dialed-the-fuck in and extremely exciting. This misunderstood business is on the threshold of an exciting turnaround with Ryan Cohen at the helm. And though I was very much looking forward to the potential repercussions of a vote being called at the annual meeting and what that might mean for the short-term share price, this result is infinitely better. Whatever their motivations, that Board and George Sherman saw the writing on the wall here and accepted the Golden Bridge that Ryan offered them. And Ryan Cohen has done everything he’s set out to do here. And he’s clearly been having fun while doing it. Read up on the guy at some point if you haven’t–there’s lots of good DD out there on him, obviously. And while you’re reading and thinking about Ryan Cohen, think also about guys like Steve Cohen (no fucking relation) and Gabe Plotkin and Andy Left and how lucky we are that we get to roll with RC against that motley crew of fuckwads.
And do you know what? I’m guessing that RC, and maybe even the funds being discussed in that screenshot, have been very patient with Mr. Plotkin et al in recent weeks. You don’t go around bankrupting hedge funds willy nilly, you know--bad form and all that old chap. People tend to remember that. And guys like Steve Cohen and Gabe Plotkin seem like they play for keeps. So now you try to build them a Golden Bridge to cross—maybe not their preferred route of travel, but could be worse and all that, right guys? But for whatever reason it seems like the natural instinct here on the short side is fight over flight. And these short FUD tactics are getting increasingly ridiculous to help slow down the inevitable march toward the detonator right next to that bridge. So relax everyone! And let’s not fool ourselves: All those Masters of the Universes are well aware of the math problem they’re all facing here and they must have a vague grasp of the odds that this goes off in one direction over the other. And what that could mean for the size of their money pits and how many sports teams they can buy this year. Shit, I assume Steve Cohen is counseling his young acolyte about how many sads he himself felt deep down in his man heart on that fateful day in 2008 when he lost $250M on a short when Volkswagon squeezed to infinity—a sadness that he will continue to draw on when his agent finally finds him a role that calls for it.
But my point is: the longs here can afford to be patient and let this play out. When this thing moves, the Viking’s Schrödinger crabs will only be in one pot. And I’m guessing that pot is the one being held by the guy who is actually in total control here: Ryan Goddamn Cohen.
So enjoy the show today. If you’re anything like me, you’re feeling relaxed after gorging yourself on lucky space peanuts all week.(https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/news/10022/lucky-peanuts/)
And though these silly wabbits with their cumbersome FUD efforts can get a bit tiresome, I’m still very much enjoying this GME show at this point and almost do not want it to end—what with all these Sorkin-esque twists and turns and my Cohen Tweet Decorder Ring getting all this sweet action.
But just remember who Ryan Cohen is, what he cares about, and what, so far, he has told us he intends to do here. And then you might realize, as I have, that Ryan Cohen has had the Gray’s Sports Almanac here all along. This story has already been written. He’s already won. And Melvin Capital’s Schrödinger-ass crabs are dead as fuck. The only question now is: what causes that Golden Bridge to blow? I, for one, am content to wait on RC while counting my good fortune that I can continue to accumulate until whatever happens here happens. So pass the rocket peanuts.
It’s just money after all. Right Gabe?
TL/DR: Psst: a Mysterious Viking once told me about behind-the-scenes Golden Bridge negotiations that are likely taking place that give shorts no chance but the shorts seem to think they’re saying there’s a chance but there really is no chance; Gabe Plotkin, Steve Cohen and Andy Left are misunderstood Straight Shooters who probably answer typical interview questions about their own perceived weaknesses by saying “Sometimes I just care too much about doing the right thing”; and Ryan Cohen is the Goddamn Man so we can all relax and not worry so much about all this dumb short FUD bullshit, ok? OK. 🚀🚀🚀
**If you construe any of the above as investment advice without doing your own DD or at least Googling Ryan Cohen then you are a fucking idiot and may God have mercy on your soul. You too, Andy.

As many suspect cannabis is coming to legalization in the future. The debate is currently when and not if. All evidence points towards legalization in the coming 12 months and maybe even sooner.

Current cannabis legalization in the United States.

This is a list of states that have recreationally legalized cannabis and their populations. We need to gauge what the size of the market already is and what segment of it is left unserved. The percentages next to the state name are the size of that state with respect to total US population
Recreational populations by state:

1. California, 11.88%
2. Illinois 3.79%
3. Michigan 3.0%
4. New Jersey 2.67%
5. Washington 2.31%
6. Arizona 2.22%
7. Massachusetts 2.07%
8. Colorado 1.75%
9. Maine 1.64%
10. Oregon 1.28%
11. Nevada .94%
12. Montana .32%
13. South Dakota .27%
14. Alaska .22%
15. DC .21%
16. Vermont .19%

Unserved or Underserved Market Share

Total Population of those states: 52.19% So immediately that looks like it will double when we see legalization. But right now the government employs roughly 6% of our population which means those people can't consume cannabis and keep their job reliably. Let's just be safe and say 5% just to be on the safe side.
52.19% * 95% = 49.58%

50.4% of Americans will be eligible after federal legalization.

Two Thirds of Americans support legalization

Two-thirds of Americans say the use of marijuana should be legal, reflecting a steady increase over the past decade, according to a new Pew Research Center survey. The share of U.S. adults who oppose legalization has fallen from 52% in 2010 to 32% today. The numbers skew extremely heavily in one direction. The older you are the more likely you are to want to keep it illegal. Thankfully the ancient authoritarian opposition isn't going to be around very long to bitch and ruin our fun or destroy our tendies.
Approval by generation

• Silent 35%🌈🐻
• Boomer tards 63%
• Gen X 65%🐂
• Millennial 76%🐂🐂
• Gen z🐂🐂🐂
  • weren't on this survey but they're twice as likely to use as national average so probly like 99%

Silent Generation is around 74-80+ right now
CDC says that the percentage of death for a Covid-19 victim are:

• 65-74 - 21.7%
• 75-84 - 26%
• 85+ - 30.4%

By Race

• White 51.3%
• Hispanic/latino 24.2
• Black 18.7%

As we all know old white men are almost entirely republican. Cannabis opposition skews extremely heavily towards the older and whiter the person the more likely they are to oppose legalization of recreation. Covid19 may have killed around 78.1% * 400k covid19 Silent Generation in united states.
.781*400,000 = 312,000. Current population of Silent generation is around 20 million so Covid may have killed around 1.5% of the silent generation alone.

Why are we talking about old people?

• They don't like cannabis and don't want it legalized
• They have nothing to do with themselves so they vote like their life depends on it
• They're the fastest shrinking population group and the least fond of cannabis

Do you retards get it yet? The only people that would have shit all over politicians for voting against legalization are shrinking every day. These acts as a pressure release valve on politicians who may have voted NO on legalization because they don't want to lose their office.

But isn't everyone who wants to smoke weed already doing it?

No dumbass.

In fact, more than 50 percent of Americans surveyed for the study changed their minds about whether they would smoke pot, depending on whether the laws specified certain penalties, the study found.

https://www.livescience.com/56705-marijuana-use-legalization-survey.html
This is from 2016. Cannabis has become significantly more popular and the older generation as I've said before has continued to die off making it even MORE popular.

How do we get it through the House of Representatives?

It literally already passed. On December 4th last year the HR passed a bill to legalize cannabis 228-164 which is a huge victory. Even if they have to make revisions on it the bill won't get less popular it will get more popular in the house.
​

How do we get it through the senate?

Chuck Schumer Says Marijuana Legalization Will Be Prioritized If Democrats Retake Senate

“I’m a big fighter for racial justice, and the marijuana laws have been one of the biggest examples of racial injustice, and so to change them makes sense,” he said. “And that fits in with all of the movement now to bring equality in the policing, in economics and in everything else. Our bill is, in a certain sense, at the nexus of racial justice, individual freedom and states’ rights.”

• Removes cannabis from controlled substance Act
• Cosponsored by Bernie Sanders the new Senate Budget committee chairman
• Would force money into the hands of women/economically disadvantaged (this is an earmark of the Biden administrations intentions for his first 100 days)
• Both Alaskan REPUBLICAN senators support legalization
• New GA senator Ossof supports legalization
• New GA senator Warnock supports racial justice and legalization
• Voting against cannabis would be deeply unpopular in literally almost any state
• One week after House passed their bill the Senate passed a research bill

​

What about Biden?

• Biden has described 'racial injustice' as one of the four crises he wants to solve in his FIRST HUNDRED DAYS
• The optics of vetoing a bill for cannabis legalization that focuses on racial justice would obliterate his presidency and destroy his credibility. If a bill hits his desk he WILL pass it.
• Biden has previously not supported it but he's an old enough politician to know which way the wind blows and won't

Mr. Nadler, who spearheaded the legislation with Senator VICE PRESIDENT Kamala Harris, Democrat of California and the vice president-elect, described the collateral consequences of a conviction for marijuana possession as creating “an often-permanent second-class status for millions of Americans.”
The idea behind the legislation is “you want to make whole these communities, and you want to compensate,” he said. “You want to shed light on what was done.”

Can you smell the incredible racial justice? This is the exact thing Biden needs to do to become a fucking super hero in the eyes of the public and that's what he wants and needs right now.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/us/politics/house-marijuana.html
​

What Is the Significance of the First 100 Days?

The idea comes from Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the 32nd US president, who passed 15 major pieces of legislation and 76 laws during the first 100 days of his presidency in 1933. By today's standards, the efficiency is almost unbelievable. It's mostly due to the extenuating circumstances of his term: Roosevelt was dealing with the Great Depression when he was inaugurated, and the nationwide sense of emergency allowed him to take action swiftly. And while the circumstances for following presidents were less dire, the term stuck.

https://www.popsugar.com/news/why-are-first-100-days-important-for-president-48070657

State Support

• Cuomo of New York just recently (Jan 19 2021)talked about how cannabis could add jobs

Medical Community Support

• Mississippi medical professionals asking court to allow medical cannabis
• South Carolina Doctors calling for medical legalization

Okay Let's talk money

US retail marijuana sales on pace to rise 40% in 2020, near $37 billion by 2024

https://mjbizdaily.com/exclusive-us-retail-marijuana-sales-on-pace-to-rise-40-in-2020-near-37-billion-by-2023/
Adult-Use of cannabis is on track to go up 5Billion a year for the next few years. That's retard growth. In 2020 is was only around $11.8Billion. Estimates say next year it could be as high as $15.9Billion. That's 74% in one year. That's fucking insane. This year and this year alone is special because its' the fastest percentage growth. Further years will have the same nominal growth but the already existing base of Adult users will offset the growth %
Covid acted in two ways. It killed many people that opposed this legislation which makes it politically safer for republican senators to approve it and it offset the ability of congress to even really address it. It created a stall moment. Right now is the best time to go deep because it's not being talked about on the news.
You can play this any way you want. I personally will be going balls deep and holding for years to come but the key to winning this is to make all your moves BEFORE congress talks about it. The second they mention it the game is over and someone else took your sticky sweet cali kush purple haze tendies.
​

Why should we focus on American cannabis rather than others?

Because congress will engineer the law to favor American cannabis industry inside. That's going to help them with inequality and racial injustice in the United States. It's both a strong economic and political move. American industry boom can also fuel job growth which once again is something that's on Biden's economic plan and we are in dire need of job growth from the fallout of the pandemic.
​

Conclusion

• It may be as little as 3-6 months before we see cannabis get passed.
• the most powerful people in our government (Senate Leader / Vice President) want it to happen
• The president needs to unite people and cannabis is EXTREMELY popular among citizens
• Expense ratios on all the ETFs I post are basically exactly the same
• We just had one hell of a weekend so everything is on discount right now
• Go buy weed and finally have sex with your wife instead of her boyfriend all the time

ETFs and Tickers

Enter MSOS - American cannabis 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

MSOS - AdvisorShares Pure US Cannabis ETF
MSOS is the first US-listed actively managed ETF to provide exposure solely to American cannabis and hemp companies, including multi-state operators (MSOs). This is the second fund from AdvisorShares dedicated to the cannabis investment strategy. MSOS seeks long-term capital appreciation by investing entirely in legal, domestic cannabis equity securities
Holdings are ~50% mutual fund and 21% derivatives. They are ready and have 💦very high liquidity💦 for the second that cannabis becomes recreationally legal. The agility of having 50% sitting in basically liquid makes it imo a top pick. Any first-to-market advantage that Canada or other countries have will quickly outstripped by proximity advantage of a local US brand. US companies are waiting for the legalization will quickly hit economy of scales that other competing countries can't with respect to domestic consumption.
Popular Holdings: 100% American

• Curaleaf CURLF 13% American
• Green Thumb GTBIF 12.6% American
• Trueieve TCNNF 12.7% American
• Cresco CRLBF 10.6% American

Average volume: 1.14M
52 Low 20.45
52 High 47.55
Market cap ~500M
P/E -18.00
I'm extremely confident in MSOS because it's not flashy like the others, has solid market cap and has grown the least in price of more enticingly named ETFs. People are missing out on MSOS. I am full on 💎✋ on this for at least 2-3 years. To me this isn't average investing because people will look at the chart and say 'not impressive' and go buy something else but when the chart looks bad is when the most money can be made.
Disclosure - I'm 5 digits deep
​

Second fund - YOLO🚀🚀🚀🚀

YOLO
This is where I throw you retards some fucking red meat because I know as soon as you see this people will say 'yolo on YOLO'.
Yolo is less liquid than MSOS and is also far more international. So they will have gains from legalization but I strongly believe it won't be as much as American companies will see for painfully obvious reasons. I would say use this to sip international gains as the US steps into the world of legalized cannabis and completely normalizes it on the western world stage.
YOLO has popular companies in its holdings (61% Canadian 28% United States)

• Village Farms International VFF 9.38% Canadian
• Green Thumb Industries GTBIF 8.23% American
• Trulieve Cannabis Swap TCNNF 7.60% American
• Curaleaf CURLF 6.2% American
• Aphria APHA 6.1% Canadian
• Cresco CRLBF 4.2% American

Average Volume: 902K
52 Low 5.65
52 High 22.85
Market Cap ~250M
P/E -9.00
Never doubt the power of a name. This solid mix between several countries gives it strong diversified hedging against isolated national incidents.
Disclosure: I'm 4 digits deep

Third MJ🚀🚀🚀

MJ
MJ is 50% Canadian and 33% American with 13.5% UK. MJ has popular holdings in it's top 10

• Aphria APHA 11.4% Canadian
• Tilray TLRY 9.9% Canadian
• Canopy Growth CGC 7.8% Canadian
• Aurora Cannabis ACB 6.2% Canadian

Average Volume: 4.31M
52 Low 8.81
52 High 20.97
Market Cap ~1.5Billion
P/E -3.00
The name is classic and the operation is very under way but I'm a little concerned that it's not nearly as heavy in the states as other ETFs and it's P/E still isn't positive. Regardless it holds some tickers that have been making huge waves lately.
Disclosure: I do not hold this security.

TLDR: If you hear congress say anything about weed and you haven't already bought cannabis stock, Yes you're too late.

​
Sources:

• https://worldpopulationreview.com/states
• https://thehill.com/opinion/finance/438242-the-federal-government-is-the-largest-employer-in-the-nation#:~:text=The%20federal%20government%20employs%20nearly,employment%20in%20the%20United%20States.
• https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/11/14/americans-support-marijuana-legalization/
• https://www.bloombergquint.com/onweb/gen-z-and-weed-the-u-s-generation-of-native-cannabis-consumers
• https://www.cdc.gov/mmwvolumes/69/wmm6942e1.htm
• https://www.scribd.com/document/382710811/Marijuana-Freedom-and-Opportunity-Act#from_embed
• https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/joe-biden-to-sign-inauguration-day-orders-on-covid-economy-says-aide-2353648
• https://mjbizdaily.com/giants-of-the-senate/
• https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/joe-biden-to-sign-inauguration-day-orders-on-covid-economy-says-aide-2353648
• https://mjbizdaily.com/exclusive-us-retail-marijuana-sales-on-pace-to-rise-40-in-2020-near-37-billion-by-2023/

Mods: I messaged you twice about this post and asked if it was okay so if something is wrong please don't ban me like last time.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

• THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT NOT INVESTMENT ADVICE
• I AM NOT GIVING YOU ADVICE
• I AM A MORON AND YOU SHOULD PAY NO ATTENTION TO WHAT I SAY

Pershing Square Tontine Holdings is the largest special acquisition company to date, created by Bill Ackman, it trades on NYSE, it closed AH at 29.85$. It has 2 years to get a deal done, it IPO'd at 20$ a share, if a deal does not get done, holders of common shares get 20$ a share paid back to them at the end of the 2 years. Which means, the downside risk is limited to 20$ a share no matter what because it is backed by 5 billion dollars.
it IPO'd 21-JUL-2020, it has until 21-JUL-2022 to get a deal done, otherwise holders of common shares get 20$ per share.

• Bill was quoted in the fall saying "In terms of timing, what we said at the time of the IPO is we said it would take us, we thought about six months to identify a target that we would be in a position to hopefully announce a deal by sometime in Q1, and then close the transaction in the ordinary course thereafter. Nothing that we have experienced to date, suggests that we won't meet our expect timeframe."
  
• "We had more than 12 billion$ of demand for the offering when we stopped marketing the IPO on the second day of the road show".
  
• "We used the excess demand for the pershing square tontine holdings IPO to curate a shareholder list that would be the envy of any public company. We selected investors for their reputation as long term, value added owners."
  
• list of institutional investors they curated can be found on the nasdaq website. The private company maintains majority interest, and voting rights. They essentially give up nothing, and get a huge cash injection. There are only so many companies on this list that even qualify in terms of size.
  
• If the timing quote is to be believed, it would put the announcement of a LOI (Letter of intent) for a target sometime in Q1, the general consensus expects an announcement sometime between mid jan - mid feb, most likely after the inauguration to avoid trumptards doing something like storming the capitol again and and scaring the market.
  

merger criteria: https://pstontine.com/acquisition-criteria/

• Simple, Predictable, and free-cash-flow-generative
• Formidable barriers to entry
• Limited exposure to extrinsic factors that we cannot control
• Strong balance sheet
• Minimal capital markets dependency
• Large capitalization
• Attractive valuation
• Exceptional management and governance

The key takeaway there is, formidable barrier to entry. They are looking for a titan, they are big game hunting.
They have 5 billion in the warchest, and are able to go up to 7 billion

• Kevin O'leary is in big on this https://www.benzinga.com/news/20/12/18735011/why-kevin-oleary-is-betting-on-bill-ackmans-pershing-square-tontine-spac
  
• There are rumors that buffet could be a pipe investor, he has a large position hidden that eventually has to be released with a 13f filing, this is all speculation but check out this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=970&v=FhOzaN7uI_s&feature=youtu.be "What I can tell you is, we met a very diverse base of investors, we got one of the largest orders through one of the firms, for a great, long only, very well regarded asset manager"
  

This is all speculation, but it still sounds spicy.
There have been a lot of special acquisition company's lately that have done really well, Chamath has had some incredibly profitable IPOs, but check out this chart for QS https://finance.yahoo.com/quote/QS/ They 13 bagged, and they are just some shitty EV battery play....
Now here is where things get SPICY!!!!!!!!!!! Two parts, Part 1: The Tontine structure (last man standing gets everything), and
part 2: upward pressure through incentives, the atom bomb of technical plays.
Part 1: Here is the prospectus https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1811882/000119312520175042/d930055ds1.htm
For everyone who owns a common share , after merger they receive 2/9ths of a warrant, so 2 warrants at 23$ strike for every 9 shares. This is where things get absolutely fucked though.....
The prospectus on page 5 states : "We believe our ability to complete our initial business combination will be enhanced by how we have structured this offering.
First, our distributable Tontine redeemable warrants provide our public stockholders with an incentive not to redeem their shares of Class A common stock in connection with our initial business combination. We will issue a fixed pool of 33,333,333 distributable Tontine redeemable warrants (assuming no exercise of the underwriters’ over-allotment option); holders who choose to redeem their shares will lose the right to receive any such warrants. Public stockholders who choose not to redeem their shares of Class A common stock will share in this fixed pool with other non-redeeming holders (on a pro-rata basis), and will receive the additional warrants that were effectively surrendered by redeeming holders. As a result, public stockholders who do not redeem their shares will receive at least two-ninths of a distributable Tontine redeemable warrant per share they hold, and a proportionally greater amount as other holders elect to redeem. We believe this structure will likely lead to a lower level of redemptions, and therefore, we will likely have more funds available for our initial business combination."
This means, if you sell your shares between the LOI (Letter of intent, the company they are merging with), and the actual merger, you FORFEIT your 2/9ths of a warrant per share, and the shares forfeited get added to a pool, and get given to those that held during this period. The MINIMUM is set at 2 warrants for every 9 shares, but it will be higher than that based on how many people sell shares during the tontine period before the merger date.
PART 2: The potential spicy atom bomb....
Roughly 70% is held by instutitional investors, that are locked in. With 200 million shares, that leaves roughly 60 million shares in the float for plebs like us.
Of those 60 million shares, a large group are going to want to hold through until merger to redeem their warrants at 23$, the HIGHER the SP goes, the MORE those warrants are worth, which INCREASES their resolve to hold so they can cash in. People will be selling shares in this time period, and ADDING to the total warrant pool, making people want to hold even more.
This reduces the float dramatically. The crazier it gets, the more people will be forced to hold for the warrants. The MORE people sell, the MORE warrants people that hold will get to collect, it could end up being 4/9ths or even higher. Making them want to hold EVEN MORE. The longer they hold out, the more warrants they get from people who forfeited by selling shares in this time period....
If it ends up being a sexy target, like stripe, bloomberg, starlink, anything that generates hype, everyone and their moms, their dogs, and the mailman will want in.... Except.... There could be as little as 20 million shares even available for trading, on a mega hype stock. If this happens, fundamental be damned, and it could be a technical wet dream.
Tilray (A canadian pot company) had a technical stratosphere run in 2018, it IPO'd at roughly 20$ a share, and hit 300 USD. There were only 17 million shares in the float, the higher it went the more people piled in, and it was pure insanity. https://www.investopedia.com/investing/tilray-shares-halted-5-times-wild-trading-day/ "On Wednesday, Tilray's stock gapped up sharply to open at $233.58 a share from Tuesday's $154.98 close. The stock hit an intraday peak at precisely $300 a share late in the trading day"
Risks:

• Bill doesn't get a deal done
• The stock collapses, and hits a hard limit of 20$ a share (about 30% loss from today's stock price).

There are risks with everything, but the set up based on the tontine structure alone could end up being one of the craziest technical plays of 2021 based on the limited float alone, AND the incentive to hold until merger with the tontine structure, this setup has never been done before in a SPAC, and this is THE LARGEST SPAC TO DATE.
Current position: 59 calls, december 2021 expiry, 35$ strike.
Edit: Formatting
2nd edit: I interpreted the prospectus incorrectly, shoutout to u/eddiepaperhands for clarifying.
“We will provide the holders of the shares of Class A common stock issued in this offering (whom we refer to as our “public stockholders”) with the opportunity to have all or a portion of such shares of Class A common stock redeemed upon the completion of our initial business combination at a per-share price, payable in cash, equal to the aggregate amount then on deposit in the trust account described below as of five business days prior to the consummation of our initial business combination, including interest earned on the funds held in the trust account and not previously released to us to pay our taxes, divided by the number of then outstanding shares of Class A common stock that were sold as part of the units in this offering, subject to the limitations described herein.”
Still bullish AF though :)

This was posted in WSB without any love, so I figured I would bring it here. We have another crazy day ahead of us based on pre-market trading, so I thought I'd offer up a little DD.
__ ___ __
After a great day on the market today with Cannabis stocks, I figured I would put this out there. Be careful with the cannabis stonks, but they could be a great opportunity to make compounding money by essentially day-trading and riding the peaks and valleys. Since following these stocks, I have seen incredible volatility, and often times it's greatly unfounded.
This is not much different from the last two weeks with $GME. Many first time investors hopping into Cannabis, and hopping out with losses and new lessons, as quickly as they jumped in. Right now, there's a fair amount of talk about TLRY and APHA and their merger. I owned TLRY in 2018, for a short time before it vaulted to ~$145 a share. If I remember correctly, there was talks of a Class Action Lawsuit, and there was some panic (mine included) right before the slingshot. (Or perhaps it was Cronos, but for whatever reason, I spooked on TLRY too). I paper handed. It was one of my first Cannabis stocks, and there was too much hype around the fact that it's still a controlled 'drug' and legalization was teetering more on the 'No' side, than 'Yes' side.
Canada and Europe cannot make the cannabis market go boom without the US. They markets simply aren't impulsive enough. And many of these cannabis companies bet hard and early that the US would come along more quickly as they could. Many have incurred significant losses because of it. Backtracking, selling warehouses, or land that was due to eventually house warehouses or production facilities.
I will say, this is where things get dangerous. I am not a financial advisor. I have however likely checked the stock ticker 5-10 times a day since January 3rd, 2018. The first day I took the plunge. Since, I have been forced to diamond hand my way through some pretty scary shit. At least for me.
A few notes on what I hold, and why I do;
- CGC - Canopy Growth. 618 shares / $22.46 avg. 2/9/2021 Close: $49.09. Why? I work in the wine industry. I had been reading about cannabis stocks for a while since beverage behemoth Constellation (STZ) invested in a minority stake of 9.9% and $245 million in October of 2017. The is the controlling party of Corona, Modelo, Meiomi, Kim Crawford, Robert Mondavi, The Prisoner, and High West Whiskey. It is very infrequent that when STZ gets their hands on a brand, that it doesn't turn to gold. In August of 2018, they more than doubled down. They invested $4 Billion USD, to now hold roughly 37% of CGC. They have options to buy a third tranche for majority control, by November 1, 2021. The only caveat; Constellation board members stood by the fact that CGC could not enter the US market until legalization. Since, during Covid, they have lightened a bit, but still not far enough. Recently, they've inked deals with Martha Stewart and CBD products for pets. And we all know what the pet industry can churn out. Lastly, they've already made commitments to purchase Acreage Holdings, Inc. (ACRDF), upon US Legalization. For now, they wait in the shadows, with the fourth largest 12 month net revenues behind recent dandies Green Thumb (GTBIF), Trulieve (TCNNF) and Curaleaf (CURLF). You won't see any information on those here, as they came a little later to the game, and too much of my portfolio is in Cannabis, and I can't simply put more in. So I have made the decision to not really learn a ton about them... Yet.
- APHA - Aphria Inc. 322 shares / $8.03 avg. 2/9/2021 Close: $23.75. This stock is on a tear. I'm a little worried about this one, but after a little extra reading, I'm actually loving this stock. It is likely well known now, that APHA and TLRY plan a merger. APHA, although bigger than TLRY, will change their name due to Tilray's past exposure. This merger should merge in the second quarter of 2021, forming the largest cannabis company in the world, with $870 million in sales. The next closest would be Green Thumb, the current leader, at $610 million. Without diving into the numbers, I do feel they're outkicking their coverage at the moment. Cannabis has seen crazy swings. They tiniest bit of news, people blindly dive, or quickly bail. Much like GME. Any - like I said above. I work in wine. My original interests in APHA, was for one reason. Their distribution. On March 17th, 2018, Southern Wine and Spirits (the largest beverage distributor in the world - operating as Great North Distributors in Canada) had announced a exclusive partnership to distribute cannabis across all of Canada. Huge news. HOWEVER, there is something I just noticed that I like ALOT. Stay with me here. Green Thumb's sales are $610MM. Canopy Growth, $477.4MM in fourth. TLRY is sixth with $269.2MM. APHA is ninth with $239MM. WAIT ONE SECOND YOU APE - YOU SAID ABOVE THAT APHRIA WAS BIGGER THAN TILRAY?? Well. It's because of one thing! Distribution. Aphria's distribution revenue was $361.4MM! That's a game changer. Adding the above revenue, plus their distribution revenue, and this really pleases my smooth brain. Keep an eye here. This could explode. Between the 51% shorts on TLRY right now, the news, any news of a Cannabis merger, plus two very strong and established companies? To the moon? Or at least to one of the layers of the Ozone for sure.
MJ - ETFMG - 167.354 shares / $30.75 avg. 2/9/2021 Close: $28.90. There are a couple of ETF's out there for cannabis now, but the world's largest, and first, is MJ. Supposedly, it's passively managed, but I like the recent swing I'm seeing. In looking a bit deeper, they're hot on the merger of TLRY and APHA. 13.76% of the MJ is APHA. 12.56% TLRY. GW Pharma is another name making some waves lately, with 7.96% and Canopy Growth with 7.76%. Other names include Aurora, Grow, Cronos, and others. But my favorite part about this, and why I prefer it to YOLO, the supposed 'more actively managed ETF', is that it pays a moderately healthy dividend in 3.46%. Reinvesting, and watching this boom, this is one of the safest places in the cannabis sector.
ACB - Aurora Cannabis, Inc. 122 Shares / $57.07 avg. 2/9/2021 Close: $15.61. This one stings. ACB was well capitalized on the outset, and expanded very quickly. They targeted the premium medical side, and had little interest in recreational. They also proudly stood among the rest, while other companies were merging or consuming each other, Aurora's decision was to forge ahead without partnership. I believe this may now, with the help of Covid, been a regrettable decision. While at one point, Aurora, if fully operational, could have produced more that 650,000kg per year. They had contracts with over 12 other countries to push their supply. But delays, plus slow Canadian rollout hurt a company walking a very fine tight rope. They have been forced to liquidate many of their assets and production is roughly a fifth of what it could have been. On May 11th, 2020, they were forced into a pretty rare event. In order to avoid NYSE delisting, as ACB was hovering for far too long sub-$1.00/share, they needed a reverse stock split. 12-1. With hopes the fluctuation may breathe some life back into the company. I wish I had a better outlook for ACB, but I'm pretty much expecting my investment is lost.
MMNFF - Medmen Enterprises - 4080 shares / $1.39 avg. 2/9/2021 Close: $.963. Medmen came out of the gates swinging. Opening in 2010, Medmen grew into three states in both production facilites, and retail outlets. In 2018, while operating locations in California, Nevada, and New York, with plans for 20+ in Florida, MMNFF announced a $682MM acquisition of PharmaCann, which would create the largest cannabis company in the world. Shortly one year later, it was announced the deal was null and void. The price went in the toilet and has hovered in the fistful of pennies for some time now. The 52week low, $.09. While they have held strong, the last few days have seen a surge. Perhaps a rising tide lifts all boats. Perhaps this is a dice roll to get in very low. But it's been almost 30% growth over the last three days. They now own over 29 stores, and 6 production facilities, and 60+ on the way. Perhaps life is coming back to Medmen.
Well.. I felt like I should just put some of my experience and some of my knowledge of the stocks I should throw it out there with some of the excitement that's been happening with new investors. Let me know what you think? My first sort of DD. Hope this cuts the mustard.
Reminder: I am a smooth brain. This is not financial advice. More of my thoughts and beliefs of what happened and what is to come.
TLDR: My experience and findings on a couple of Cannabis stocks. Notably: CGC, APHA, MJ, ACB, and MMNFF.

Not financial advice, this is my personal strategy to share with all you great silver surfers. TDLR at the bottom.
With the announcement that PSLV, Sprott's physical silver investment trust, surpassing 100M oz held and adding another 1.25M oz today, I am proposing WSS turn its focus to investing in PSLV over physical silver. We all know why we are investing in silver (e.g., inflation hedge against fiat currency, breaking the paper silver markets and hurting the banksters, #silversqueeze, etc.) so I won't go into that too much. I want to focus on PSLV as a better investment to reach our goal of breaking the paper silver market.
First, I will say that I have been stacking silver since 2009 and have added to my holdings over the years so I fully support buying physical silver. However, since it appears that PSLV is adding more physical to trust lately with the influx in buying, this may be a better strategy to achieving our goals sooner. As we are all aware, the supply of physical silver available at bullion dealers (e.g., APMEX, JM Bullion, First Majestic, etc.) are either sold out or there are premiums over 30%. In contrast, at Friday's close, PSLV was trading at a slight discount of 0.51% to NAV (the value of the silver bullion in the vaults). This means there is at least 30% more buying power for us to take physical silver off the market. Also, even if we were to buy all the inventory from the dealers, the dealers may be sold out for an unspecified amount of time and that means retail investors won't be able to buy.
This is where PSLV comes in. PSLV is a like holding physical silver, without actually holding it and they hold unallocated, unencumbered physical silver bars (meaning no derivatives or other claims to ownership). From the PSLV website:

6 Reasons to Own theSprott Physical Silver Trust(NYSE Arca: PSLV | TSX: PSLV.U/PSLV)

1. Fully Allocated Silver

The Trust only holds fully allocated and unencumbered silver — no exceptions. PSLV exclusively invests in London Good Delivery ("LGD") physical silver bullion.

2. Redeemable for Metals

Unitholders can redeem their units for physical silver bullion on a monthly basis, subject to certain minimum requirements.1

3. Trustworthy Storage

The Trust's metal will be held in custody by the Royal Canadian Mint, a Federal Crown Corporation of the Government of Canada. There is no levered financial institution between the unitholders and the Trust's physical bullion and no risk of financial loss in the event of a bankruptcy or nationalization of the financial institution.

4. Potential Tax Advantage

The Trust offers a potential tax advantage for certain non-corporate U.S. investors. Gains realized on the sale of the Trust’s units can be taxed at a capital gains rate of 15%/20%2 versus the 28% collectibles rate applied to most precious metals ETFs, coins and bars.

5. Easy to Buy, Sell and Own

Trust units can be purchased on any open trading day for the New York Stock Exchange or Toronto Stock Exchange. No need for investors to handle, secure or protect the physical metal.

6. A Liquid Investment

Trust units are highly liquid and can be sold on any open trading day for the New York Stock Exchange or Toronto Stock Exchange.
In the PSLV prospectus, it states that "the trust has only purchased physical 'London Good Delivery' bars as defined by the LBMA, with each bar purchased being verified against the LMBA source." This seems to suggest that PSLV is buying it's physical from the LMBA which as Chris Marcus of Arcadia Economics, Rob Keinz of Gold Silver Pros, Bullion Star, and many others have shown are colluding since last March to maintain control of the prices of gold and silver through paper derivatives while holding a fraction of the outstanding notional value in physical. They are now playing a game where they shift physical between the COMEX and LBMA to make it appear as it if there is enough silver in the physical market to deliver against the paper derivatives. I've heard Rob Keinz talk about this in detail but can't find the video, but here is Bullion Star's take
BMA-COMEX collusion intensifies as CME approves 267 LBMA gold and silver bar brands
Since the LBMA and COMEX are colluding to hide the amount of actual physical silver in the physical market, many have suggested that it means that there is already not enough silver to deliver on existing contracts. Also, since PSLV is purchasing silver from the LBMA, if the WSS community and other silver stackers start pouring more money into PSLV, this will cause PSLV to buy more silver from the LBMA, and by extension the COMEX, taking more supply off the market and draining their vaults.
TLDR: Bottleneck to buying physical silver from dealers at a 30%+ as we have to wait for new inventory, while buying PSLV with small discount or premium to NAV will increase retail investor buying power and cause PSLV to buy more physical silver from the LMBA and COMEX draining their vaults faster.

So, I want you all to listen up and listen up good. We've become pimps for equities: prop 'em up to make them look pretty and sell them off to a troglodyte infested with STD's. We need to change the way we see stocks as a piece of a company that offers potentially good returns with a little bit of patience and gambling. Get-rich-quick schemes, as we have seen throughout the last 30 days can easily turn into get-broke-even-faster gambles that ruin your wallet and faith in the stock market.
You might've heard "you want to invest in your future." Take it seriously. Throwing 10-50 stacks at GameStop to fend off "short ladder attacks" or injecting steroids into a no-name Canadian weed company that rivals the market cap of Wendy's is pretty reckless, and you deserve to lose that money when it craters. INVEST LONG TERM BUT GAMBLE WITH THE MARKET. Make sounds decisions but make bets on market conditions to fulfill your cocaine addiction.
With that said, there's a great investment opportunity in SPG (Simon Property Group). Simon is an American commercial real estate company, one of the largest REITs, and the largest shopping mall operators in the US. They had a steep selloff in March of last year, but has seen a rise of 3100 basis point YTD (31%). They have more room to climb because of stock momentum, COVID vaccines, consumer demand, and a aggressive strategy to stay ahead of competition. Despite this, they're still bullish. During the Q4 call, they remain "confident" that the worse is behind them, and SPG is trading at a discount of $109 to its target price consensus of $125.
In 2020 with COVID ravaging the bottom line for a lot of companies, they pulled in some impressive numbers.
Company Statistics Over the Last Year back from December 2020

• generated over $2.3 billion in operating cash flow;
• acquired an 80% interest in The Taubman Realty Group who specialize in super-regional and outlet shopping malls in the United States and China (China is back in business, remember?) ;
• raised over $13 billion in the debt and equity markets
• opened two new international shopping destinations, expanded two others and completed three domestic redevelopments;
• returned more than $2 billion to shareholders in cash dividends paid (for comparison, even though they're not a REIT, Ford suspended dividends along with many other companies)
• Occupancy was 91.3% at December 31, 2020. (Doesn't even seem like COVID made a dent).
• Base minimum rent per square foot was $55.80 at December 31, 2020, an increase of 2.2% year-over-year.
• Extensive, permanent cost-cutting measures were implemented to reduce operating expenses and offset revenue decline. (Leaner businesses are best equipped for a rebound in profits)

Chart Analysis
They have historically been almost spot on with moving average analysis. Comparing their 50-day and 200-day moving average, they're currently on a bullish trend, positive upward momentum to a higher stock price. The short term moving average is above the long term line, thus indicating they're in for a good run in the near future.
COVID Vaccines
We know that the Biden administration is pushing for vaccinations. For good reason: once we're at herd immunity, states will be opening up because they're in need for revenue after incurring major expenses to keep their hospitals and small businesses staffed and opened during the height of the pandemic. Today we learned that the Biden administration is moving up their timeline to distribute vaccines after Pfizer and Moderna made a deal to provide 200 million shots. Once people are vaccinated to the threshold of herd immunity, the economy will start moving in the right direction. And, remember, Simon is trading a discount now. Once people feel more comfortable being around others, mall traffic can expect to increase.
Summary
I know some of you see the market as a casino. But, if you bet on America, you can never go wrong. Once sentiment changes, if it hasn't already curved in a better direction, businesses will attract the traffic. Maybe not pre-pandemic levels for some, but their stock price will rise as we get closer. SPG is primed for a return built on solid fundamentals (curse word in this sub?), an upward trend based on chart analysis, and growing confidence in our ability to be around others after much fatigue. Right now, betting on America is wagering if we can make a recovery. And when have we been unable to recover as a country?
Full Disclosure: I'm long on SPG.