Alright you lovely lot of people, story time.
A little bit of back round on myself. I am 37 years young. Introverted as hell, but it hasn't stopped me from accomplishing a lot in my life. I enjoy history, classic cinema/music, literature and I've always preferred the company of a select few over a crowd of people, as people friggin' drain me with inane nonsense a majority of the time. Yet, I've always believed in being there for people, no matter what. Your family, your friends, total strangers if the case arises. That's what being a human being is. Treat others how you would like to be treated and all that jazz. I also know, that nobody is perfect, and everyone has their struggles, especially now.
Now onto the relationship that made me go monk again.
Since 2018 I've been taking care of my elderly grandmother who suffered from dementia, that we didn't know she had at the time but suspected. I was working odd jobs on the side while I could and helping my grandfather as he owns a company that he still works for to this day at 80+. He has always been an inspiration to me and I only hope I could be half the man he is at his age. During this time, taking care of my grandmothefather I would mainly do it alone, because I was the single guy (by choice ) with nothing else better to do. And I didn't mind. I enjoy the company of the elderly since they seem to appreciate the simpler things in life, such as life itself, once they start getting older.
During this time I would spend most of my day making sure my grandmother was okay. She had her routines. She enjoyed swimming at 80+ going into a hot tub religiously for longer than she should. And enjoyed talking on the phone! Who would have thought! My grandmother was addicted to the phone as far back as I can remember. She had 30 ft extension lines to the old school rotary phones back in her house when I was a child, so she could walk around the house talking. As a young child you notice these things, but think nothing of it, because you were too busy watching Pee-Wee's playhouse, or The Real Ghostbusters, or outside playing with your friends (yes this was a thing) reading comics, playing with G.I.Joes and learning how to use your first swiss army knife.
My grandmother practically raised me since my mom was busy working as a child. I never met my real father once in my life as he was apparently a real scum bag. I found out he died a few years back and felt sad I never met him, but had no memories of him, so it didn't last long. So back to my grandmother. Her dementia had taken hold and she slowly started forgetting things. She'd forget where she put things, her credit cards, her purse, her tv remote. And then would get angry. If she couldn't find something, or thought she lost something, especially her phone, she would lose her shit. I know this was because of the dementia, but I had seen this before. I had seen this as a child, as a young man, and as grown male. A woman losing something, then losing her sh*t. I've seen the same from men as well. But with the phone, it's like losing your contact to the outside world. You have FOMO. You feel like you're nobody if you're not in on the conversation. I've seen this before. More so in women, then men. The phone had become a lifeline to other people, to other people's lives, and my grandmother would use it to call me nonstop to help her with things. Fix the television (that she couldn't figure out anymore) show her how to print pictures off facebook ( I hate social media) and how to cook the food I cook for her and my grandfather. Stupid stuff, but I would compromise my time, because who else was going to do it? My Parents have lives, my siblings have lives, and my grandfather still works to this day. So someone had to "Man Up" because nobody else would.
I would spend entire portions of my day with her, taking her places, making sure she ate alright, take her grocery shopping, get gas in her car (she still drove before the dementia was diagnosed) and show her how to use modern technology even if I hated doing so. It was just too much for her mind. Just like modern women. The stimulation is too much. Too many thoughts of other people contaminating your mind with nonsense. I would cook dinner for her and my grandfather or get take out food and come back to their house and watch a film or two with them almost every night. I'd watch my grandfather and grandmother both smile and cry over old school films they hadn't seen in years, and I would do so in return. It took me back to being a child. Watching films with them when I was a young boy. My grandmother was a VHS collector and in turn made me appreciate them and as hobby I would collect them over the years and DVDS/Blu-rays and such. I also would find and sell out of print copies of movies and video games/CDs to supplement my income. So every day after taking care of my grandmother and enjoying her and my grandfather's time, I slowly started thinking, I wish I had someone who would actually enjoy my company as much as they enjoy mine, and I enjoy theirs. Someone with an old soul. Someone who didn't enjoy modernity and wanted simpler things, and enjoyed simpler times.
Skip to July 2019. By now I'm at my grandparents house every morning at 5:30 to 6 am, to take care of my grandmother. Her dementia has grown increasingly bad. She yells all the time at me, my grandfather, whomever. Her need to call people on the phone and try to get them to take her to places and do things she use to do when she was healthier had me beyond stressed. My grandfather, stubborn as he is, didn't know what to do, and continued to go to work, leaving me alone with my grandmother all day. Eventually my mother starts to help me take over afternoons and I come back at nights to do the routine movie, dinner, tuck into sleep etc. This way I can take care of my life and not go completely insane. I had taken up smoking cigarettes again after a five year kick. I was mentally drained. I needed to get out. I had been single for 8 years. No dating. No Mating. I was a monk from my last relationship and decided I was better off alone. But I needed someone. Everyone does from time to time. We also try to get a nurse aid to come and help with my grandmother so I can continue with my life and not be there all day and night. It doesn't work.
Skip to September 2019.
Early morning. I get to my grandparents house and my grandfather is red in the face, saying my grandmother is cussing him out, going nuts on him. I've seen this before. I go inside. Try to talk to her. I get called all sorts of things. It's okay, I can take it. I have before. Things get worse. Mom and Stepdad try to come over and help. No help. Grandmother starts to get hostile and pushy/ throwing things. My grandfather says to call the EMS for her to take her to the hospital. I'm the one to do it. We go to the hospital, Doctors say she has a possible UTI making her act out this way. I'm a hot mess smoking cigarettes outside. I realize then our dog has been home all day and probably hasn't been outside. My parents owned a dog who I had taken care of for years as well. I had to live with my folks due to past surgeries and basically having to restart my life over twice from it. I tell my mother I'll run back to their house and let him out. My younger brother is with me. We get home, and my dog is walking around funny. He walks over to his water bowl, and starts drinking and drinking and drinking. He wouldn't stop. I was worried right away. Then he was outside....Vomiting. In the grass. Didn't look good at all. My brother calls my mother, tells her what's going on. They rush home, then take my car to rush our dog to the VET 45 minutes away. I sit and wait. I get a call. It's my younger brother. He tells me our dog has passed away. I break down as a man would when he loses his best friend. That was the start of the heartache.
Days pass. My grandmother has been diagnosed with Stage 3 Dementia. My Grandfather and mother make the decision she needs to be in a nursing home full time. I am crushed. I never thought they would do that to her. She had been so kind to everyone her whole life and her house was her home, her peace. She was extremely extroverted and loved to be outside and talking to people. Running for people, doing for people. I suspect some of it was for praise, but my grandmother was a genuine good soul. Now she was going to spend the rest of her days in a home. And I would visit her everyday, and listen to her tell me everyday "I'm coming home tomorrow, You come pick me up and we'll be okay!" I would internally die a little inside hearing this, and I'd say "Yes, I will be here tomorrow for you!" knowing damn well she'd never leave that place. My grandfather and mother insisted that if she left, she'd be inclined to go home and it would be worse off. I just wanted my grandfather to realize he had to stop and take care of her. Not let some strangers take care of her. Not letting her be around friends in her own house. But in the end, I know I couldn't have taken care of her by myself.
Skip to October 2019.
I've accepted that my life is completely different now, and I've lost a great deal in a short time. I was coping with a lot. I visited my grandmother every day in the nursing home. I was still helping with my grandpa, still earning money, and still trying to have a life. I create a online dating account. It reminds me why I hate social media. The filters. The faces. The bios all sounding the same. Then I come across one. She's an older woman, but looks great for her age. Says she is Introverted (awesome) and enjoys Horror films (Great!) and a few other details I enjoyed. She was also a Goddess, according to her and her tattoo. I message her something and immediately get a message back! Whoa. We chat a bit, I tell her what I'm into, but also tell her currently what is going on in my life. We seem to hit it off pretty quick, and the next thing I know we have a date. Date night comes, and I get a call from my grandmother. It's a bad night for her, and then for me after dealing with an hour conversation or so about wanting to come home. This was an everyday thing for me. So I called my date up and asked if I could postpone or I could possibly go somewhere closer to where we lived since she only lived a few minutes away from me. She agreed I could buy her a starbucks coffee at 9pm on a friday night and bring it to her. I didn't want to starbucks so I stopped at a gas station and got her an ICED Starbuck coffee. Good enough right? It was. I meet her. She's pretty awesome right off the start. Asks me about my day and I ask her about hers. Tell her about my grandmother and why I had to postpone. Says she understands and thinks I'm pretty great for what I do. We make out almost immediately, and I could have gotten more, but I didn't want sex. I wanted companionship. Someone to talk to. So we just made out cuddled and watched The Joker. I leave at like 4 in the morning, she tells me to text her when I get home. I do, emojis hearts and all that silly fluff. Days later we're hanging out again, doing the same stuff. She wants to clearly have sex. I don't give it up because I want to find out who this girl is. RED flags ignored from her wanting me early on.
I start to ignore her because I feel like If I give her too much attention I'll seem clingy. She still insists on hanging out almost every other night. So we do. Eventually one night, we make love. A few times. She seems to enjoy it and I did too. After 8 years of not having sex, it's nice, but nothing is nicer than having someone next to you who (pretends) to care about you after the act is done. I start to stay over, as I would usually leave early in the morning, and she gets use to that. I get use to it. Things feel good.
My grandmother calls me everyday still. Tells me how great I am, and that she wants to come home and for us to watch movies etc. (For someone with dementia she had a great memory still) And it would eat me up inside, but I knew she was safer there, than she would be with me, but I always regret being the one who called the EMS to have her put away. It slowly would eat away at me.
December 2019
After being with my girlfriend for a couple of months I finally ask her to go STEADY. Yep, I'm lame. She asked me what that meant? I told her. A committed relationship. A couple. She said I was lame, but she accepted. I even started to use the L word again with her. It was odd telling someone you loved them after not doing it for so long. Then one day, my grandmother called me. She was blaming me for not being there all the time, etc, even though I was the only one there, visiting her every single day. It just made me snap. I quit working for my grandfather. I went off on him and my mother for allowing this. I said they had no idea how this made me feel for being the one who locked my own grandmother up, trying to do the right thing. It didn't matter. Nobody listened. So I broke something. I broke a window and I was kicked out. I was sleeping in my car. I didn't care. I didn't even tell my girlfriend till later that night. She told me to come over and I could stay with her. So I did. We talked, I told her about everything how I felt, just needed someone to listen to me for once, instead of being the one always listening. And she did. She said I could stay with her till I sort things out. During this time we really grow to love each other, finish each other's movie quotes. I taught her survival skills, how to prep for disasters, end of the world shit. Etc. She thought I was goofing around, I was serious. I read disaster books and study history so I know where we are headed in our current state. She bragged to her friends and family about me. It felt good to feel appreciated. Then suddenly, Corona comes around.
Jan - Feb 2020
Things are doing good, I'm helping fix up the girlfriends house. She works and lives as an onsite manager at her job, so It was definitely something to get use to. I bought her all sorts of things she needed for her place, it looked like someone's place who ate out dinner every night and rarely cooked for herself. For I helped make it feel more like a home. We went shopping to get new plants for the house, furniture that I would have to move and or put together. We would talk all the time about our plans for the future etc. I eventually got a new job, but then I lost it, as the lockdowns began.
March 2020
The lockdowns have started. The masks have started. The prepper in me knows this is not good. The girlfriend doesn't really see it as anything major. Until 2 weeks, became a meme. Even then she didn't see it. She remained an essential worker throughout all this, meanwhile I watched people I knew working jobs for 30+ years lose them due to this pandemic. I eventually built her a proper pantry and filled it up with food and water for her. I spent hundreds, thousands on stuff for her to keep her safe and have her set up in case something happened. Solar panels, portable power stations. You name it. She finally realized I was serious about this, and about her, and about US. She would post pictures of the things I gave her claiming she was now a "Survivalist" etc. It was cute. Women are cute. Things seemed well. I wasn't working, still looking but wasn't working full time, but could still pull money in from doing side jobs and selling collectibles. While she worked. I cooked, I cleaned, I did the dishes, the laundry (all by hand because none of her appliances worked) I helped fix things in her place. Fix her car tires, fix the problems on her new car she bought (Without me going to look at with her) and ultimately did alot of work at her job, for free, to help her out. She enjoyed it, I enjoyed it. I thought
July 2020
By now the quarantine has gotten to people. I'm use to being inside and alone and not going out all the time so it's not too bad to me. For my girlfriend, like others, it is. They miss going out. They miss their social lives. They're all on their phones way too much now. Searching for SOMETHING. Meanwhile, I've created a spare bedroom at my girlfriends place, because she snores, and I couldn't sleep most nights with her. Terrible I know. I also have insomnia so it was vital I get at least a couple hours of sleep a night to keep my sanity. So one night after spending time with the woman, making love etc, I tell her I'm going to crash in the other room so she can get some sleep, and I can as well. Kiss goodnight etc. I walk in a couple times in our bedroom to check on her, she puts her phone down immediately and I ignore it. Then I can't shake something. I'm just thinking she's talking to someone etc. I didn't want to be that guy and ask her for her phone. So I did something that wouldn't get me into trouble. I installed the dating app we used to meet back in October. I get online and start looking for women her age in my area. Boom. See her profile. New pictures. Single. New Bio. I lose my poop. I burst into the bedroom and go off on her. I say what the f are you doing? Call her names. Yell. Then I grab my stuff, pack up everything. Takes me 5 hours or so to do this at 1 in the morning, and take about 7 trips in my little car to and from her places and my parents. At this point I'm just beyond pissed and upset and start drinking and smoking heavily.
A couple days later, we talk, I apologize (stupid of me I know) for flipping out. She said she just felt lost and confused etc. Same ol' trite. We get back together. Make love, and eventually I come back. Things feel weird, but I'm glad to have her back in my life. I truly love this woman and would do anything for her. Then, this changed everything. Her sister, age 50, alcoholic, divorced multiple times, dating multiple men, moves in with us. Yep. 3 people in a tiny apartment. Living together. Doomed from the start.
Her sister claimed her mother whom she was living with, had bed bugs and had to come stay with us. I said okay. Turns out it was permanent. This b*tch took over my spare bedroom I made. And then I even helped her set up an office in their so she could work from home, while drinking all day like an alcoholic. Good times. So now I was dating a woman, and dealing with her sister's bullsh*t. I had to listen to her about her failed life, her men that she didn't need, yet was constantly monkey branching from one to the other. I will admit this lifestyle was not one I am accustomed too. I'm a white male, and my girlfriend was african american. So I had to listen to her talk bad about men, her own family behind their back, etc, all day. Whilst I was busy cooking, cleaning, doing EVERYTHING neither of them would do, all the while trying to find a new job during a pandemic. Meanwhile neither of two really understand what was going on. Just as long as they had their job, and their booze. I slowly started to realize this woman was never going to leave my life. She wanted to cling to little sister to drink and tell her all her problems, especially about MEN. This really put me off, seeing as I was man, who was helping take care of their asses. I was buying groceries, with little money I had, and then her sister would continue to eat, drink, and rarely contribute to our household. The only thing she would contribute was BOOZE and that was after she would drink most of the stuff I had bought. I didn't sign up for this. And everyday, I still had to deal with this, and talk to my grandmother, and try to find a job whilst being a house maid.
September 2020
It's my girlfriend's sister's birthday. The pandemic has made everyone crazy by now. Including my girlfriend, her family etc. I'm cool as a cucumber. Except it's 103F degrees outside. I'm grilling out for a small group of her family for her sister, and I'm outside for hours, prepping for her sister, with my girlfriend, waiting on her sister to get to the park we had planned it for. What was she doing? Getting drunk, letting us do all the work for her, meanwhile her friends were showing up to her own party that she wasn't at. Ridiculous. So I grill out for hours, nobody says thanks other than my girlfriend. She tells me "Thanks for being so great, you're so great." I like to think I have been great. Turns out I got dehydrated from being outside in the heat all day and ended up getting sick. Went home and to bed. Girlfriend doesn't console me, instead has some family members and friends come over from the party, to get loud and drink. No consideration for my health. A day or two later, I get in huge fight with girlfriend saying she didn't give a d*mn about my health what I did for her and her sister etc. End up packing up all my stuff once again, and leaving. I was done. I signed up for a girlfriend not a girlfriend and a sister. If her sister was hot maybe, but not the case. I was done. I thought. But alas, we talked, she apologized, I apologized (again stupid of me) and we got back together.
October 2020
My favorite month. I love Halloween. So much I helped decorate my girlfriends place with stuff, and she said she never did this in her life. She had a bad childhood, and I don't think she ever really did FAMILY stuff that didn't evolve drinking or getting high etc. She really enjoyed it. We watched horror films all month, and she seemed genuinely happy. I was happy. Not with the living situation, but happy with her, and happy with life. I was still dealing with my grandmother. Not being able to see her thanks to the lockdowns had really put a damper on my spirit, but I never showed it around my girlfriend. She knew or claimed to know how much my grandmother means to me. But I don't think she ever understand what I really did for her or put up with just to help others. Everyday having to retell my grandmother why I couldn't visit her because of the pandemic, something she couldn't comprehend. It was killing me slowly again inside, but I dealt with it, because that's what men do.
Nov-Dec 2020
Things had been going well. I had been putting in job applications with no luck, but I was still keeping busy, hadn't let this pandemic crush my soul completely. My girlfriend was becoming more and more stressed, and drinking more and more. I was too. I also started to resent my girlfriend for leaving a mess every single day. It would take me 4 to 6 hours a day to cook breakfast and bag it for the girlfriend, clean the dishes, clean the house, vacuum, take care of the cats, make her lunch, do the laundry, clean the dishes again, rinse and repeat. It became exhausting. Her and her sister would just get drunk and spill something every single night. I would step into something sticky and it would drive me absolutely mad. Like living with children rather than grown up. Whatever, I love this girl, right? I'd do anything for her. She found a kitten end of November too. Rescued him when it was cold outside and we took him in. I loved the little sh*t and our other cat more than anything after losing my dog a year ago. Older cat would sleep with me in bed, and the little one I'd let out and play with in the day and he'd bite and claw me. How I miss that. My girlfriend however had grown distant. I noticed it more and more. She slept on the couch with one cat. I slept in our bedroom with another. Her sister was constantly interrupting us and putting a strain on our relationship. My sleeping pattern was changing and my insomnia was getting worse again. But I still loved this woman right?
Most of December though, we do alright. We talk about Christmas plans etc. I get her gifts that she says "Are the best gifts EVER" and a one year anniversary ring and she took them to her families house for Christmas to show off, and tell everyone how great her boyfriend was. She never met my family. I tried to get her to come to family events even during this CRISIS. Never met my family other than my brother and cousin. That's cool though right? I love this girl. Christmas day, I call my grandmother. Wish her a merry Christmas. Tell her I love her. She says merry christmas and I can't wait to see me again and come home. It kills me. Five days later my grandmother passed away. After being told she was sent to the hospital and would be okay, I got the call at about 9:45 pm from my brother saying she had passed. I had just fallen asleep from a long day, and this nightmare was not one I was prepared for. I immediately started crying and my girlfriend hugs me, askes if there is anything she can do. I say no. I leave to my grandparents house, and we all just cry. I don't get back home till 2 in the morning. She barely says anything to me. Rubs my shoulder, and I cry myself to sleep.
My grandmothers funeral was January 5th. I have missed talking to her every single day. My girlfriend sees me walking around like a zombie. I feel lost. She doesn't even try to console me. I cry every morning to myself while making her breakfast. I never let her see me cry. My girlfriend didn't goto the funeral because she had to work, and then tried to say I never asked her to come to the funeral after I told her I didn't know the funeral date till after her work schedule was made. Girlfriend seems more cold than ever to me. I needed my best friend she claimed to be. Just one day out of the past year I needed her for emotional support. Nope.
My girlfriend's birthday is a day after my grandmother's funeral. I get my girlfriend a birthday cake, and some gifts. She barely cares. I'm depressed as hell. She DOESN'T care. She says she wants to go out for her birthday etc. I'm depressed as hell. Have a lip/mouth infection that I tell her about, she dismisses it and just says I need to see a doctor. Thanks babe. That night she goes out. I don't go with her. Says she went to bar or some shit. I don't remember nor car. Comes home piss drunk, I don't care. For a week she ignores me. Doesn't ask how I'm doing. Nothing. I still continue my routine. Cleaning cooking, etc. She says he wants to go out again on a sunday for her birthday. I said you already had your birthday. Doesn't matter. She celebrates it all month apparently. She askes me to go with her I decline saying I'm not in the mood but to go enjoy herself. She leaves at 3 in the afternoon, dressed sexy as hell, doesn't come home till 10:30 at night from the "Bar." I stay up all night waiting for her to get home, she's p*ss drunk again, and I just goto bed. A couple night's later We have dinner watch a movie, everything seems okay again. I'm nodding off in the chair in the living room, because I haven't slept proper in weeks. I goto bed. I wake up 30 minutes later to her drunk sister and her laughing being loud. I text her to keep it down please. Didnt happen. An hour later. I text her again. Keep it down! She says she's trying and it's her sister. I said tell her to be quiet then. Continues to another hour. Can't sleep. Depressed. Angry. Tell her to please shut the f up! Girlfriend says okay. Text me back saying her other sister and brother in law will be here on saturday for her birthday (how many f*cking birthdays do you get!) and they will be loud so I should probably go back to my parents house. A house I haven't been in in a over a year. I said fine, I'm leaving in the morning. Packed my stuff up. Left. Didn't talk to her all day that day. Text her at night. She never answered. Called her. She kept making up excuses not to talk to me. I've seen this before. She then calls me at midnight saying she can talk. I say I'm going to bed. She breaks up with me the next day over text. Not like an adult. Over a text.
​
I lost it. I freaking lost it.She said I wasn't bringing anything to our relationship, and seeing me act how I act over the loss of my grandmother was making her think I was a sinking ship basically. I said how can you be so cold? 3 weeks ago I was the best boyfriend ever. Now this. Betrayed. Stabbed in an already broken heart. I tried to talk to her. Why? She screwed me over? I loved her. I loved her. But what I didn't love was what she pretended to be. I realized she never cared about me or what was going on in my life. It was always about her and her family. So what did I do? I lost my shit. I blew up her phone and wanted to make her feel the betrayal and pain she gave me. I just lost my grandmother and this b*tch had the nerve to say I was the problem? And she made me believe I was. After all I did for her, and put up for with her and her crazy sister and family. I tried to talk to her and she ignored me. For a year and a half living with and loving this woman, and her feeding me bullsh*t whilst never asking for anything in return other than companionship. I lost her. I lost my cats. I lost my grandmother. All in a couple weeks. I wanted her to feel the pain I felt and the pain she had brought me. After her ignoring me, I finally got drunk and went back to our place to see she had a party going on. She was celebrating her birthday and the removal of me from her life. That is how it felt. To see the woman you loved, who you just gave an anniversary ring to, then stare at you like a total stranger whilst she is intoxicated and you're standing there looking like a emotional trainwreck. I just wanted answers as to why she would do this to me? It didn't matter at that point. It was over. And we both let it out on each other. I tried apologizing like an idiot. Just made it worse for me. She gave up along time ago. And now I'm just trying to put myself back together. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I just work and drive and smoke cigarettes now. And she doesn't care. And never did. She's already moved on, loves her new life, new boyfriend I'm sure of. I should have seen the red flags. But didn't. Stay safe out there.
​
Fin

Now, I don't watch Greg's videos solely because I can't tolerate him visually, which is why I am so grateful for u/FillerBear for their TL;DW work. However, I don't mind sifting through long sloughs of texts and what a time to TL;DR something recent Greg decided to vom out of his brain. Here we go.
(I may also grammar nazi a bit but it'll be limited to strikethroughs and my own opinions will be in italics. Super TL;DR below if it's too much to read)
Onision: In Real Life (Onision's Reaction to News of The "Documentary") < At your own risk!
First paragraph: To start us off, he explains why he didn't make a "monetized full video" about the documentary; he didn't "have the energy to make yet another video", something about his vanity and desire to be on camera is dead...
There are eight ellipses in this short paragraph, I find this extremely annoying at best. Moving on.
Second paragraph: He continues on about how it's not fun to make videos about his life anymore (shocker) and that it was fun to make "fake meltdowns... fake prank videos (he) did with numerous people," by which he brings Shiloh as an example; shaving her head, filming her in the shower, etc and hints that he likes Dave Chappelle. He then laments about how people used to understand his jokes but people hae "lost their memories of exactly what was actually going on back then." He brings up the typical "people are fucking stupid" sentence as the finisher for this paragraph.
There are four dashes that were needlessly used and a missing open bracket towards the end of the paragraph. Next.
Third paragraph: Using larger bold text, he makes a statement piece of sorts. Quote "It's kind of the same deal with a lot of Youtubers - they did a lot of hilarious things which, if you weren't there, you just don't get it in 2020." Talks about cancel culture and brings up that even though it was demanded of them, they are now being punished for the said demanded thing. He finds it "hilarious" about this irony, and akins it to "watching dogs attack their owner as their owner is trying to feed them or seeing a snake eat it's own tail"
He likes using the words "hilarious" and "hysterical" a lot. Just something to point out. Anyway...
Fourth part: This is going to be kinda long because he's micro-analysing the documentary summary which I'm clumping together as one part but I'll be as brief as I can.
He skims through two sentences and is agreeable to them, but the third one prompts a Joker meme as his response.
Here I'd like to clarify that he's using five different font sizes and styles at this point. Font continuity is not his strong suit.
Quote "But while his channels were twisted, his real life might be more sinister." He then states that the use of "might be" confirms that they have no proof of what they claim. Mentions Hansen coming by his house and that "blindness of society and complete detachment from facts/common sense" is why people like Joker. Some talk about being a puppeteer to people online, even when he's out of the picture. Basically reads as someone trying to prove that they're always in control period. Bullshit.
A gif of an aloof Greg clapping his hands together to transform into the Ledger Joker that looks like he just slapped himself appears. So edge. Much crin-geh. Very EUUGH.
Quote "This cutting-edge investigative series explores the mystery, controversy and alleged criminality surrounding Greg Jackson." Spends a paragraph focusing on "alleged" like a dog with a sausage, so much that the word itself is used six times with quotation marks. He emphasizes that their use of the word means they're speculating without proof and for the money. Says "Sarah is a literal criminal" and "Shiloh is a literal criminal". Same old song.
Tries to put aim the gun at all his exes about their "criminal behavior" and why "Discover" is instead focusing on "a former US Air Force cop... who literally helped the police bust illegal establishments in Oklahoma City while volunteering as a US Vet." Mentions being persecuted for speeding and blackberry bush removals. If only, Greg.
He changes font again at this point. Make up your fucking mind.
Calls Billie, Sarah and Shiloh "the three siren's". More mention of his being a US Vet, his deployments... but goes back to "the three siren's" and lambasts them about their drug using/dealing, committed felonies and disirespect for the law.
Quote "... bringing forward new research and revelations about the man that the YouTube community loves to hate." He laments about being the hated victim, how people only care for themselves and how they only care about the law "when it's on their side." Lowkey shoutout to LeafyisHere.
Font size changes AGAIN. FFS.
Fifth paragraph (finally): Here he starts revealing a lot of "criminal acts" that Shiloh and Sarah have done, because he assumes we think it's cool that they're doing crims, ending with his go-to "Sarah apologized for being a rapist" quote. He then expresses how we ignored what they did and "be on the wrong side, and have literally no concept of what reality, evidence or justice is."
I am literally going to have a brain aneurysm and I will literally drown myself in alcohol after I'm done with this because I am LITERALLY done with seeing the word LITERALLY used by a mid-30s man like a highschooler would. LITERALLY.
Sixth part: He places a Speaks video Onision's Receipts (Proving He Did Nothing Wrong) here and proceeds to make big, in bold text statements about his warning people about taking the wrong people's sides, namely Social Repose, Blaire White, Shane Dawson, Shiloh, Hansen and Joy Sparkle's sides. He then proceeds to state what was wrong about them and how he was always right with a bonus Reacts video Chris Hansen's CRIMES & LIES (The Onision Case) and a special addition of Sarah with another Reacts video Sarah Admitting To Sexually Extorting Onision & Other Incirminating Video Evidence.
Seventh paragraph: So why does this docmentary exist? Quote "It's Discovery Plus finding a way they can make money from lies." To the best of his knowledge, which let's face it isn't much, the documentary's sources are from Regina and Shiloh. Now he proceeds to emphasize how he's never met Regina, how desperate Regina was and was crazy about Kai; same treatment with Shiloh except it's calling the cops on her multiple times and her getting into trouble with fighting people "due to her difficult personality."
Eighth part: Talks about the videos talk discuss interactions with Shiloh and links DeOreo and RealStream's vids on their experience, adn then shifts to something Damon Elliot, Shiloh's former producer" told him directly about her being "evil" which he was still in contact with Shiloh. Quote "Her own music producer, trying to get me to never take her back."
Ninth paragraph: This begins with a series of confusing text with multiple double asterisks, which make this extremely hard to read. Fuck you Greg. Type like a fucking adult if you're even capable of doing that anymore.
He blatantly insinuates that we're not going to listen to him and that the reason he's linking all these videos and pictures that will follow soon after is because he wants to easy-link this to people who ask if he owns the documentary. Brings up what he thinks is fine print shenanigans that a member of his Discord spotted; quote "...in the contract it implies they can edit me out of context and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it..."
the end is near. my salvation.
He then posts three screenshots; the first is an email correspondence from Thomas Patterson asking for an interview for the documentary with a pdf attached, the second is of said pdf which is a Personal/Appearance Release Form that Greg would have to sign should he have agreed to the documentary and the third is a similar email from Thomas Patterson to Kai.
Another rogue Ledger Joker appears. How very droll.
Final part: Quote "Imagine someone making a whole TV show about you, calling it "Your Name: In Real Life" despite never having met you even once... absolutely, hilarious."
FFS I can't EVEN. Last sentence. Ellipsis "absolutely" comma "hilarious" FUCK YOU GREG. NO.
On an additional note, there was ONE comment on 9th of December from Benny Fox: "I don't know how a documentary on you is allowed? Your not charged with any crimes I know of. This is not going to go down well I suppose. You better get an attorney to help your defense or at least a public relations lawyer." Grammar is not as bad but considering I've just spent nearly two hours reading and rereading this, this reads like a fake comment.
That is two hours I will never get back. Super TL;DR is Greg has extremely questionable grammar and if this forum post had myspace options we would have seen peak myspace cringe because his choice of font sizes was aggravating. And he's regurgitating the same old shit we've been accustomed to seeing. Now I'm gonna go drink away my pain, have a good night you guys.

Hello there fellow Lab Members :D
A lot of you probably didn't read the last post I did, which will contain all of what you have to know about this series. I'll provide some information to reiterate what these posts are about, so if you're interested, then please check out the first post as well.
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Before I begin, please note that this post will contain MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE STEINS;GATE ZERO VISUAL NOVEL AND ANIME. I will go in-depth on plot details and not be censoring anything behind a box, so please turn back now if you do not want to be spoilt. Steins;Gate as a franchise is very much best experienced blind for the first time, and therefore I urge you to watch these fantastic shows/read these fantastic VNs before continuing.
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These posts aim to view the Steins;Gate 0 Anime in the lens of the Visual Novel. I will aim to assess how successful of an adaptation the show is of its source material. Steins;Gate 0 is infamous as another in the line of "bad sequels" to extremely successful first seasons, at least according to popular opinion. I want to figure out why the anime has this reputation, taking the stance that the VN was a perfectly fine story that in my eyes was thoroughly enjoyable, on the same level as the VN of the original.
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We're going to take a look episode/arc by episode/arc, and see what happens, where the creators of the show made cuts and additions, how it was all structured in the grand narrative, and whether this was beneficial or detrimental to the story as a whole. This will also contain (obviously) a lot of my own personal opinion and takes, and if you agree/disagree, please do tell me in the comments: I thoroughly enjoy reading what this community thinks, and I'd love to discuss below what your opinions of this show are :D
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Last post, I covered Episodes 1-11 of Steins;Gate Zero, which you should be able to find by clicking on my name and finding my previous post, or just searching it up on the subreddit (It has a similar title, I'm sorry I'm a newbie so I don't know how to link my post :/). We also laid out the structure of the VN and looked at some important details which will be relevant here, so in case you didn't, check it out :D.
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For a TL;DR of my previous post if you want to quickly catch up, the last paragraph of my previous post sums up generally what happened and what I thought relatively well (and very shortly), so it shouldn't take too long if you don't want to wade through that sea of text (which I wouldn't blame you for)
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Without further ado...
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Episode 12 (Recursive Mother Goose)
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I feel like retrospectively, this is one of the most controversial episodes for me, the reasons for which I will discuss. The episode begins a flash-forwarc to the future: Mayuri's adoption of Kagari. This is a scene from the VN, but I actually appreciate its placement, as it helps isolate the characters of Kagari and Mayuri immediately after the end of the previous episode and arc (where a lot of the focus was placed instead on Okabe, Maho and Amadeus), and helps establish the new arc with more focus on the aforementioned pair. In the VN, this scene is placed near what would be the end of this episode, right after Okabe jumps to save Kagari from being run over. And while I do appreciate the extremely peaceful feeling you get seeing this scene juxtaposing with the fear of Okabe being run over, I think the anime does a good job in this regard, and this is evidence that they put thought into the adaptation. The Anime then essentially follows the VNs route, with Kagari collapsing upon hearing Mayuri's song, an allusion to the fact that she is Mayuri's adoptive daughter (something which though we know as the audience, Okabe and the gang do not). This introduces us to the plot device of "Hoshi no Kanaderu Uta", and helps us begin the mystery. We get the walk around town, we see Suzuha win the curry contest, we observe Daru and Yuki's first date (though here a conversation between Okabe, Mayuri and Kagari is cut to save time, instead Daru just notices them to begin with). We learn of Okabe being the origin of the song from Yuki (For those who weren't paying attention, we learn the song goes in this order: Okabe => His Mom => Yuki => Suzuha => Mayuri => Kagari), exactly the same as the VN, which is good because the execution is great. It's something light-hearted and thematically feels quite tender. We then visit Mayuri's Grandma's grave, Kagari runs off, Okabe jumps, Kagari wakes up and remembers Mayuri is her mother etc. The episode ends as the VN as well, with Kagari revealed to have passed the song onto Okabe in the past, completing the loop.
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I like a lot of this: the mystery was well-done in my opinion, and it felt appropriate for a more personal and familial arc of Kagari. The last scene even shares a remarkable amount of similarities with the ending scene of the Steins;Gate Movie (we can argue if the movie was good or not, but that ending scene was extremely memorable). While the tie between Kagari and Kurisu feels unecessary at this point (due to her role in the latter half of the show), the feeling of the bonds between family and friends travelling beyond the confines of even time is an extremely heartwarming message, and something that the anime has arguably delivered even better than the VN. We end the episode with the message that Kagari has been tracked back down by her capturers, something foreboding, which again fits better in the context of the anime suprisingly, due to the role that Kagari will take in the rest of the show, as opposed to in the VN, where this build-up fizzles when the plot resolves with the arcs end. The main issue here is paramount though: in the VN this series of events work because the arc ends in the way that it does, that being Kagari taking the role of Mayuri, sacrificing herself for her mother's sake: a bittersweet ending to the relationship between the two, knowing they'll see each other again. There is no gun, WW3 threat, or imminent threat of danger: only the two of them (and Suzuha I guess). In contrast, though this episode has the same feeling to it, the next episode immediately kicks in, and so does the plot again: this set of events was meant to ease into the ending to Recursive Mother Goose, and thematically does so well, but in the context of the anime? It feels out of place. I very much believe that since they covered this arc in one episode, this would have been the easiest OVA of all times: a nice episode that leads to a different ending, something which anime's such as Clannad employ to help solve the "branching paths VN" problem. As a standalone, it works well, but squished in the middle of a compact, tense, and character driven thriller like the rest of the Steins;Gate Anime? You get this feeling of resolution with Kagari, followed by the realisation that oh wait she's back nvm.
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I'm very happy that the ending song was "Hoshi no Kanaderu Uta" though, it helped the feels a lot and was a great callback to the VN, something which a good adaptation should always strive to achieve.
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Episode 13 (???)
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Alright this is a confusing episode. It essentially exists to transition us back to the other half of the branching stories (We need to get from Episode 12 [Recursive Mother Goose], all the way back to Presage of Recognize, the chapter preceding Vega and Altair, becuase that's where the ending is. And this is where I'm divided, because I feel like the Episode is very clearly split in half. Keep in mind every scene from this episode is anime only.
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The first half of the episode really ruins the previous episode: right now due to Kagari's amnesia she has yet to solidify as a character: in the VN after recovering these memories she is able to transition to a hero, taking Mayuri's place in the Time Machine. Here, she goes the opposite direction, and basically becomes a child again, wanting Mayuri to pamper her etc. Then, conflict brews between Kagari and Suzuha between the time they spend with their parents, how Suzuha got time to bond with her family while Kagari apparently doesn't. The drama feels slightly forced, and the fact that its quickly resolved makes it feel slightly cheap, though it does help highlight the role of Mayuri as the glue that holds the group together emotionally. The main issue is the direction of the plot, because currently I'm expecting some character drama, dialogue, and some real development for these two characters, for the conflict to then resolve and the plot to kick back in at where we need to be. Instead, the conflict fizzles. We are also shown a lot of conversations by various characters surrounding Kagari, and about how it would've been better if maybe her memories hadn't returned. In the VN, it's important to note that Kagari is either a hero reliant on the themes of the story rather than a built-up character profile(Recursive Mother Goose), or a plot device (Essentially every other chapter), and doesn't really have a character profile so to speak: much of her is there for the sake of the story. The anime appears at this point to be trying to build Kagari as a character, but instead seems to realise that she's not really a character, so the first half of the episode really goes nowhere. This shows when instead of resulting in character development, the argument between Kagari and Suzuha ends with a fact of plot relevance: Kagari's memories seem odd.
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This is an excellent transition to the second half of the episode, which helps get us back to where we have to be. While we wrap up the drama, Braun suggests the possibility of brainwashing, and we're back to the idea of conspiracies, very much in the realm of the Steins;Gate we all know and love, though in 0 for some reason Braun looks a little strange. There's then this excellent double-scene, where two scenes are combined to great effect. One scene of Kagari disappearing, and the other of Okabe discovering the place Kagari was experimented on. These scenes are all excellent anime-only scenes, and there is also an excellent scene of Mayuri and Okabe walking together, when a truck playing the song that triggers Kagari's brainwashing runs past, helping illustrate the omnipresent nature of the lab's enemy, though only really noticeable upon a re-watch or with prior knowledge. We now have something of plot-relevance as the audience to latch onto: the realisation that Kagari is not necessarily a friend in both these scenes help us feel like we're now extremely in the dark when put together. We are forced back into Okabe's spot where we need to find a solution fast. And honestly, the ending scene where Okabe is in shock from seeing the wall-marks, and then has to hear Mayuri tell him that Kagari is gone, coupled with the main OST Messenger playing in the background, helped me feel like we're back. There's a problem to solve, and there are questions to answer. While I think a bit of fat could be trimmed from this episode, and a bit of it was not necessary, overall it does its awkward duty well, though the transition between Episodes 12 and 14 is quite stark and noticeable due to their thematic differences.
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Episode 14 (Presage or Recognize)
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With this, we're firmly rooted in Vega and Altair and ready to ride it until the end. This episode is a solid adaptation of the Presage or Recognize Chapter of the VN, with onlt a few things shifted around. Having disappeared, we first get a couple of minutes of Okabe reflecting on the events of the past couple of months: with Kagari still missing and having no way to find her. This replaces a scene where Okabe goes shopping with Mayuri in the VN, though both serve a similar purpose, helping redirect the focus back onto our main characters and having a sort of "calm in the storm" feeling, as we dread Kagari's return (or in the VN's case, Kagari's arrival). We then get the video chat scene between Maho and Daru, though this time Maho more vehemently denies the pair, showing she has little interest in the time machines work, and helping more strongly highlight the inferiority complex she holds to Kurisu. This episode incorporates some nice quotes and ideas from Twin Automata in order to better flesh out Maho' character, something I can really appreciate as she's going to take a more active role in the anime series compard to in the Vega and Altair route in the VN, examples of quotes from this being "Salieri couldn't compose the music that Mozart did." Suzuha and Daru then chat about Okabe not taking action, and taking matters into their own hands, a scene again not in the VN, but helps illustrate the "calm in the storm" idea, that something will eventually happen.
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Daru then leaves to check up on Fubuki, which allows Kagari to enter and retrieve her Upa. This scene is something I have a couple of problems with. Firstly, why did Daru's motive for leaving have to change? In the VN, he left to buy some Ice Cream for Suzuha (to the best of my memory), helping illustrate their bond and meaning that throughout the scene, you were expecting Daru's return. Here, Daru leaves to see Fubuki in the hospital, which feels sort of random, making it seem like another "something happened so the whole gang has to see and react to it" event. Daru doesn't even do much in the hospital: there are only a couple of lines of dialogue that help set up the next episode (which has its own set of problems). Not to mention, this means throughout the Kagari scene you're expecting the whole lab to return, when just Daru does, making a lot of this feel more like plot convenience rather than good writing. The hospital scene itself is fine, nothing extraordinary, same as in the VN (with Daru). This transitions nicely to the scene where Maho talks to Kurisu about a time machine, something which feels like another scene from Twin Automata (though I cannot remember whether a scene like this did take place). It helps build Maho to the point she is at the end of the episode (the scene is well framed as well, props to whoever did that, Maho and Amadeus are placed at opposite sides of the screen, with a lot of emphasis placed on Maho despite Amadeus doing most of the talking).
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Of course, the scene where Kagari comes in is excellent, and I had no real qualms with the fight animation, though I really preferred the more thought-out strategic approach we hear Suzuha think in the VN. Some lines in the background to illustrate Suzuha's thoughts, as well as a more tense build-up would have made the scene one of the stand-outs in the series. I also question whether having Kagari show her face was a good idea: it helped show she was crying, a critical part of Suzuha's deduction, but it also meant that we lost the suspenseful aspect of it. The fact that Kagari's face was obscured helped differentiate her brainwashed personality to her regular one in the VN (and was also necessary due to her being Yuki, which is not true in the anime), making her feel like someone different almost. I do give props for the part of the fight where Kagari says that "It hurts", hoping to fake-out Suzuha. Seeing this animated made the scene much more easy to symphatize with Suzuha's POV. Altogether a solid scene.
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We wrap up this scene with a brief chat between Daru and Suzuha. Similar, though handled differently. This scene in the VN was used to help further build up Daru and Suzuha's character: we see both sides of Daru, the side that imagines Suzuha in a slutty H-game and the side that wants to keep his daughter safe, helping establish the strange family dynamic the two share. In the anime, we just see the latter. Similarly, the VN establishes Suzuha's strength to declare even Kagari her enemy, while in the anime Suzuha seems more focused on helping Kagari. The anime focuses on plot, while the VN chooses character development. Rather than do what the VN did, the Anime had the discussion turn to plot relevance, of Kagari's brainwashing, and her state. The final scene of the episode is anime-only, but very strong and arguably one of the best of the series. By having two video calls with Maho instead of one, and spending the episode instead exploring Maho's change in mindset, her move to Japan feels more natural and less for the sake of plot convenience. Some excellent framing help shows the development in her inferiority complex, with her reliance in Amadeus decreasing (shown when she walks down the middle of the screen alone, or when the seat next to her is empty, when usually Kurisu would've been there). The moment Kurisu offers help, Maho sends her away to find a magazine while she packs and heads off to Japan herself. The whole monologue was an excellent way to callback to the Mozart/Salieri complex ideas of Twin Automata without integrating that arc in (because that would've made this even messier than it already is), ending with one of the best quotes of that whole arc ("The person who acknowledged Mozart's talent above anyone else... It was Salieri"). The ending feels elating, the start of something new for Maho. I think the shift needed another scene or no, as the abruptness does make some of the shots feel slightly forced, but overall given the time restraints, we observe Maho's development thoroughly and simultaneously help re-establish Daru's motivation for his daughter. This feels like the start of a good couple of episodes...
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Episode 15 (???)
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I think this episode here is where I'm really split, so I'll take a lot at the positives and negatives and let you, the reader, come to a conclusion. I think overall they missed a great opportunity but that the good counteracts the bad and makes this relatively average.
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The good things. In general, the episode is a strong standalone: it produces a problem and solves it, and the arc it goes through is graceful and doesn't feel forced. We know both Daru and Suzuha well enough that we understand why the two act the way they do here. The scene at the end with the Hashida family together was very heartwarming, and seeing the gang chip in to help out was nice as well. The episode also attempts to string together plot relevance: we see scenes of Okabe furthering his relationship with Maho and Leskinen, leading us into the red herring that we're all too familiar with concerning Leskinen's character. Leskinen is built up very well as just his appearance, something which the VN definetely spends a lot of time exploring too. It also develops Maho's possible romantic interest in Okabe, something which the VN similarly dipped its toes in, which is a nice callback. There's even this excellent scene of Okabe declining Mayuri's offer to come to the lab, a good showcase of Okabe physically and emotionally distancing himself, as in the original, one of Okabe's flaws as a character for sure. The date itself was nice, with some callback scenes to the date scene we see in Presage or Recognize/Gehenna's Stigma (though this time its actually Yuki), and in the end, we feel Suzuha's pain and yet her love for her family, and she exits with a determined face, now realising what she has to protect. The episode ends eerily with Kagari staring from above, again furthering the omnipresent aspect of the enemy, in this case using Kagari. I also appreciate some of the smaller details: Faris bringing Suzuha's favourite cake similar to a scene much earlier in the series, showing the bond the two have forged, as well as when Faris tells Suzuha "Did you use the photo?", telling the audience that the photo was a forgery, and that Suzuha wasn't really disappearing. If you don't fully remember this episode and want to re-watch anything I've discussed, I urge this one, as I feel like its role is devisive and that you all should take the time to see what you think about it.
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The bad. This episode is ridiculously out of place; after the tension builder that was the previous episode, we expect the plot to continue building, but instead it halts. While some side plots progress, overall the story does not further very much. Character building is of course important, but as stated before the show has shafted opportunities for development in exchange for plot development, and yet here their doing the opposite: to me it shows a lack of a clear direction, an episode chocked full of character development does not excuse the lack of development before, it only makes it more jarring. This kind of stuff needs to be better spread out throughout the story as a whole, something which the VN does better in my opinion, due to the character development frequently helping spur the plot onwards, and the two getting equal amounts of time (just skimming the VN, the general trend is plot/char development/plot/char development etc, very roughly of course). I personally can imagine two easy fixes that would make this episode a stand-out in the series, and less jarring in the overall narrative. One, switch this and the last episode around. Episodes 12 and 15 both contain a similar theme of Family bonds, and putting them closer together puts a nice compare and contrast between the two families in the show. It's still not the best fit immediately after episode 13, but before that Kagari would still yet to have been brainwashed. It would've been even better if we could place this episode before Episode 13, to better showcase what I just mentioned, though in this case, Kagari's role would have to be different (or heck even throw her in at the end to foreshadow her switch Idk). I think in general the Presage or Recognize Chapter when it just starts and ends at Vega and Altair, not when it is interrupted by a thematically different episode like this. The second suggestion for me would just be to throw this in as the Valentine OVA. I mean it's a good standalone, it relates to love, it's relatively comical with some good character development, it feels out of place etc... It seems to fit the bill for an OVA, and would've been better than the one we did get :/.
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Opinions everyone?
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Episodes 16-19 (Vega and Altair)
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I think I'll shorten each episode analysis from here on out, and just discuss the things that matter.
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Episode 16 was great. Simply put. We get some anime only scenes at the beginning, establishing a peaceful "normie" situation for Okabe to contrast to when he finds out about the PhoneWave rebuilding. This scene of Okabe walking home also shows the distance Okabe has put between himself and Mayuri to protect her, something which is further expored later on. The confrontation with Okabe at the lab furious at Daru and Maho was a sight to behold: the OST "Logic" slowly building up to the reveal, the silence in the background as Okabe picks up the Gel-nana, the anger and sadness of Okabe as we hear his rapid delivery (something which can't really be pulled off in a slower paced VN format) juxtaposed with Gate of Steiner in the background. It is easily one of the best scenes of the show. I think if anyone seriously reflected on this scene, calling Okabe simply a loser who cries all the time realling undersells the suffering he's been through and the dreams he crushed: it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of the entire show, and feels like an explosion of emotion for all three characters which have been sufficiently built up to. We're reminded of the stakes, but also of why Okabe can't bring himself to do it, and the transition of Daru from joker to fisticuffs really helps highlight the gravity of the situation. The following scene with Maho and Okabe on the roof is just as tense. Both refuse to back down, and fervently strike at the other's argument, with the dusk in the background transitioning wonderfully into the night-time scene at the end of the episode (Big props to the shot with the puddle highlighting the reflection of the sky, symbolising hope, with the reflections of the characters possibly symbolising something like the possibilities changing the future holds. And the scene at the end where Maho reflects and realises Okabe's similarities to himself makes sense in context due to the track "Re-awake" playing in the background: Okabe is beginning to return to his past self, just not fully yet. Because in the context of this series he's only heard it. He's yet to experience it himself. As night falls, Okabe stumbles across Mayuri in the park, just the two of them talking again like old times, something which he haven't seen much of in the series due to the distance Okabe is putting. It's a heartfelt conversation, where we truly see what Mayuri has been hiding, one of the key features of the Vega and Altair arc (up until this point we haven't seen all too much of Mayuri, and I love that the directors have used this anime-only scene to help build towards that). The episode ends with a shot of the crying Mayuri back against the starry sky, both helping reference her connection to the sky (Stardust Handshake), and the distance between the two, though the sky parting to reveal light may also resemble hope amidst darkness. Excellent episode.
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Episode 17 follows suite. Mayuri is caught up on the events of the series and of Kurisu. Rather than have the confrontation scene directly transition into the events at the rooftop of Radikan, the anime builds to it, with each scene getting more tense than the previous. There is a nice scene similar to the one at the start of the previous episode, but Okabe's eyes are lifeless and he can't concentrate, cracking a pencil. It's a nice display of his changed attitude. The talk scene between Maho, Mayuri, Suzuha and later Daru is as you'd expect, though Mayuri's powerful declaration of love for Okabe really solidifies her character, even more so than the VN. The comparison to Kurisu felt a little out of nowhere, but the following line about sacrificing her love for the sake of Okabe really hit home. Excellent delivery on the part of Hanazawa Kana. The ending line of "For today only, Mayuri will stop being a hostage" was really great: a reference to the original series, a declaration of action, and helps propel Mayuri into motion in the following scene. In the VN now, you'd essentially get the scene at the start of this episode, but without Maho and on the rooftop of Radikan. Doesn't make much of a difference to me, but I do think the background of the setting sun and the outdoors in general would've probably made the scene hit harder. We then have Okabe confront the pair on the rooftop, something which doesn't happen in the VN until after the enemy soldiers are killed, though its inclusion doesn't spoil anything, and honestly Okabe doesn't do much in this scene until that point, though Mayuri again delivers a strong speech, showing her strength as a character and her role in this story as Lab Member No.2. The video mail was also a nice way to distract both the audience and Suzuha. We get the feeling of Okabe's d-mail in the original series, of a triumphant plan coming together, before the operation is interrupted by Mayuri's scream. A well put-together scene. In the VN, things here are slightly different (Mayuri gets captured while Suzuha is checking the time machine), but again the difference isn't too noticeable, and I like the way the scene was directed overall. Suzuha is then dragged into the time machine where she fights to get back out, again not in the VN, but helps highlight Suzuha's battle prowess, and the way she thinks in these high-stress situations. The episode ends with Kagari arriving and seeing her mother hurt. Again, a solid episode. No stand-out scene like the previous, and some really small and insiginificant changes, some of which were good and some of which weren't necessary, but not too shabby overall.
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Episode 18. Similar to 17. I like how we see Leskinen's betrayal before cutting to the op. Very suspenseful. Kagari rampages and kills everyone, a good showing of her battle prowess too. The confrontation with Leskinen and Okabe is well-done too. The dark room highlights the lack of hope: one of Okabe's supposed allies has turned on him, though the light pouring him gives him a route to escape. In the VN Kagari actually never dies in front of Suzuha or Mayuri, though she's not Yuki here either so it doesn't matter too much. It's a well-done death scene and seeing her so weak after she'd just murdered so many people highlights her humanity admist all this, a nice observation by the directors. The suspenseful music, followed by Leskinen showing up again, proves him to be no slouch as a big baddy, and the fact that he's got Daru and Maho hostage (Not in VN either), is a nice touch, as it does feel weird for the lab not to be targetted more in the VN by the enemy. Having Maho there adds to the realisation of the inhumanity of the Amadeus system's development, and we are also shown that Leskinen is the future's "Professor" character that we keep hearing about in a good shot, which Suzuha also references earlier on in the series after her battle with Kagari. Leskinen's villian speech is long and brooding, and it feels like our heroes really have been completely outmatched. The contrast between Leskinen's calm intonation and logical speech with the insane things he's speaking really highlights the facade he's been putting on. Just then, Suzuha turns the tide of battle, again highlighting her battle prowess, and we get a solid scene where the gang stops Suzuha from killing Leskinen due to the fact that she'd be giving up on her humanity too. A strong scene that shows Suzuha losing her level-headed nature, likely due to her father being threatened and Kagari being taken advantage of. The reunion with the dying Kagari is cut short by more soldiers arriving, spurring urgency. The following scene with Okabe and Mayuri is similarly short, but powerful. Mayuri looks inspired and ready to fix the past. Had Okabe's character arc been fully completed, this would've been the place to end the series. But our hopes are crushed, as the time machine is blown up, sending dust everywhere, obscuring our view of the sky which represented our hope. Altogether, the first rooftop scene is strong, and we are now shown (not just told), the importance of all that the series hinges on. Okabe struggling towards the Time Leap Machine like a zombie really hit home his despair. The ending scene with Mayuri's message is also nice, showing her love for Okabe once more, even beyond his crazy scientist persona, and the promise she'll return, bittersweet considering her recent death, though she does also mention that even if she fails, Okabe will come back to save her, foreshadowing the events of the last episode, as well as spurring Okabe in return to action. The ending song choice of Lyra was a bit strange to me, but Mayuri doesn't really have her own song yet, and it was better than the usual ending to help highlight the importance of the message. Altogether a strong episode.
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Episode 19 (???)
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Alright this one's a doozy. The creators of the anime decided that we haven't shoved in enough of the VN yet, so we've gotta take one last trip to Promised Rinascimiento, which honestly is something I'm perfectly fine with. If you had to name the most prominent chapter in the Steins;Gate 0 VN, while I do not downplay the writing of the other four, it would have to be between Promised Rinascimiento and Vega and Altair, just due to the scope of the tales they tell and some incredible individual scenes. Despite this, both feel incomplete as endings, and as the Anime needs to be definitive and conclusive (not relying on other routes like in the VN), combining the two has the really good effect of making the series feel more complete towards the end. This feels like the final stretch, Okabe just needs to go through one last ordeal to reach Steins;Gate, and the Promised Rinascimiento chapter, providing that dark future that he averted his eyes from, is the perfect obstacle for him to overcome. But I'm getting ahead of myself. In order for this shift to occur, we need another "transition episode", similar to Episode 13. This one's not bad, and a lot of the VN carries over due to Okabe similarly time leaping there as well, though in the Vega and Altair ending he succeeds second try, while here he fails to provide the entry into Promised Rinascimiento. Starting with a news broadcast helps highlight the chaos the entire country has been thrown into. Another confrontation between Daru, Okabe and Maho really help illustrate the hypocrisy that Okabe is currently displaying, and highlights his past weakness. Overlayed with a Violin track of Gate of Steiner, it's a very sombre moment of character reflection. Maho swallows her pride, showing her acceptance of her inferiority to the pure genius of Kurisu, a sign of growth and development. Okabe revealing the secret so readily to how the Time Leap Machine operated similarly highlights his change in mindset: he's ready, as Maho highlighted on the roof a couple of episodes ago, Okabe is beginning to return, and so are the time travel shenanigans of the original series. The backing track of "Okabe's Defiance" helps illustrate this, showing that Okabe is ready to defy his fate. It's important to note the uses of music and animation: these in the VN format are much more limited and their uses are less critical than in an animation medium, where they are the forefront of what the audience notices, so I apologise if I'm referring to them a lot, but it helps illustrate the themes and development of the show (most of the tracks resemble their title, so I won't analyze the music, but Takeshi Abo is a musical genius when it comes to this kind of stuff). Okabe heads back to Radikan, showing his refusal to accept the truth yet. He clenches onto the hope that Mayuri and Suzuha are still alive. A really good flashback to Mayuri's comment on the liveliness of the lab, both a reminder that she's gone, but also a reminder that everyone else is here, and they'll be there to support Okabe until the end. The repetitive dusk of the previous episodes fade, as night settles in, giving us hope that change is similarly about to occur. All of the above are anime-only scenes, and are good ones at that, helping prepare us for the beginning of the end. Amadeus comes back, which was kinda weird for me (forgot to comment about her @ channel post which was in the VN when she was deleted, but that was a great reference). For her to come back is sort of strange, and I don't feel like she was integral until when Okabe wakes up in the future, but again her role is minor here and doesn't matter too much. I just feel it would've made more sense for Daru to retrieve her data in the future over a longer period of time, rather than in the space of hours/days. It would've made their reunion in the future far better, as we haven't seen Amadeus in a while either. There's then this pretty telegraphed scene with Maho framed as Kurisu in Okabe's eyes: it's pretty forced, but gets the point across that the two are for comparison, and Okabe sees Maho as he saw Kurisu, as a scientist who's basically carried him until this point. Maho and Okabe face the darkness of the development room, unsure of the Time Leap Machine's success, as Maho once again comments on Kurisu's genius, again showing her acceptance of the fact. The next scene, they face the light, as (most of) the lab huddle in a circle, and Okabe speaks, though not yet with his mad scientist persona, it helps remind the audience that he's slowly making his way back to the man we all know and love.
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The second half is much more straight-forward. Okabe leaps successfully (helping set up our expectations for the next leap, which fails in contrast, nice touch). He basically tells everyone he's from the future, they believe him, etc. Nothing too much to begin with, though I like Okabe's monologue as we walks up to the roof of Radikan, highlighting his defiance of fate, and the calculated track in the background (sorry I'm too tired to find the track name rn) matched his confident stride upwards. The following scene isn't bad, similar to the one we get in the VN, with Okabe now confident in Mayuri, Suzuha, and his own success. This feels like the end (aside from the scene where Kagari interferes, which is saved for the scene where the leap works, as it makes more sense narratively). The reveal of Reyes to be a villian was honestly totally unecessary: she's not revealed in this half of the story branch at all, and she hasn't been built up nearly as much as Leskinen. It only serves to confuse the watcher (similar to the Yuki herring which I forgot to mention but similarly could have been omitted). Again the music in the scene where the machine blows up is excellent (a melodic crescendo which fades into silence abruptly as we realise they didn't make it, again too tired to find the track -_-, but god music-wise the second half has way more noticeable tracks, a good addition to many of these scenes). The shot with Okabe alone on the rooftop, his eyes noticeably insane, questioning why fate is like this, was truly heartbreaking as a moment for our main character, and the show has done well to fake us out like this. Okabe's ponders on convergence, before heading back again with the Time Leap Machine. Maho is again comapared to Kurisu, though from the way she speaks this time, and a triumphant Gate of Steiner plays in the background, as Okabe scream "Leap" to himself, Okabe's final stand.
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And the episode ends. Honestly, much better than the other transition episode, and the change to Promised Rinascimiento feels smooth here relatively. Good stuff from the crew.
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From here on out, we enter what I can only describe as the highlight of Steins;Gate 0, combining the best scenes from Vega and Altair and Promised Rinascimiento. In my view, Steins;Gate is a "9" show that frequently goes up to a "10", while Steins;Gate 0 is a "6-7" show which very occasionally spikes up to a "16-17" (just due to its slow-burner nature and the time it takes to build up its characters, giving them a new side in some cases). Unfortunately, I think the post has gotten WAY too long again, so I'll be hitting the stop sign here. What I said from my previous post applies here too: I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm sorry that I rambled a bit more here, I just think this part of the show has a bit more to scrutinize due to a lot of anime-only scenes leaking in. If you agree/disagree with anything I said, or have any of your own insight, please hit me up in the comments below! And if I got anything factually wrong (which let's face it, this universe is damn complicated, I probably did), please tell me below as well, as I don't want to mislead anyone and it could affect my analysis. If you made it all the way here, I salute you, though in these turbulent times I'm hoping that more people will be bothered to take a gander and discuss online more. I hope you all enjoyed :D. I wasn't planning on making this due to the last one not getting the traction I wanted for the time I spent on it, but doing these few episodes once again made me fall in love with this series, and I want to share my appreciation and critique with the rest of you labmems :D. I'll probably end up finishing this sometime in the near future, as the last scenes have a good amount to dissect, but all support is appreciated, and I'll be responding to anything I see as a sign of that appreciation after I take a quick break from all the internet I've been doing. El. Psy. Congroo Kongroo.

aa a kind of volcanic lava that forms jagged masses with a light frothy texture; in an unrelated sense (‘a stream’) aa is the first entry in the Oxford English Dictionary abaya a full-length, sleeveless outer garment worn by Arabs abomasum the fourth stomach of a ruminant, such as a cow or sheep absquatulate to leave somewhere abruptly adscititious additional afreet a powerful jinn or demon in Arabian and Muslim mythology Albertopolis a group of museums and other cultural institutions in South Kensington in London, named after Prince Albert alcazar a Spanish palace or fortress amphibology a phrase or sentence that is grammatically ambiguous, such asShe sees more of her children than her husband amphisbaena a mythical serpent with a head at each end anfractuous winding or circuitous anguilliform resembling an eel apoptosis the death of cells which occurs as a normal part of an organism's growth or development apple-knocker US informal an ignorant or unsophisticated person argle-bargle copious but meaningless talk or writing Argus-eyed vigilant, referring to Argos, a Greek mythological watchman with a hundred eyes argute shrewd ariel a gazelle found in the Middle East and North Africa aristotle Austral. rhyming slang a bottle aspergillum an implement used for sprinkling holy water in religious ceremonies astrobleme an eroded remnant of a large, ancient crater made by the impact of a meteorite or comet Attic salt refined, incisive wit autotomy the casting off of a limb or other part of the body by an animal under threat, such as a lizard badmash Indian a hooligan bandoline a sticky preparation used for setting hair bardolatry humorous excessive admiration of Shakespeare (‘the Bard of Avon’) Barmecide illusory or imaginary and therefore disappointing barn burner N. Amer. a very exciting or dramatic event, especially a sports contest; first used of an exceptionally good hand at bridge. bashment W. Indian a large party or dance bawbee Scottish a coin of low value benthos the flora and fauna on the bottom of a sea or lake bergschrund a type of crevasse bezoar a small hard, solid mass which may form in the stomachs of animals such as goats or sheep bibliopole a person who buys and sells books, especially rare ones bichon frise a breed of toy dog with a fine, curly white coat bilboes an iron bar with sliding shackles, used to fasten prisoners' ankles bindlestiff N. Amer. a tramp bingle Austral. informal a collision blatherskite a person who talks at great length without making much sense bleeding edge the very forefront of technological development blind pig N. Amer. informal a place where alcoholic drinks are sold illegally bobsy-die a great deal of fuss or trouble boffola N. Amer. informal a joke that gets a loud or hearty laugh boilover Austral. informal a surprise result in a sporting event borborygmus a rumbling or gurgling noise in the intestines breatharian a person who believes that it is possible, through meditation, to reach a level of consciousness where one can exist on air alone Brobdingnagian gigantic, from Brobdingnag, a country in Jonathan Swift'sGulliver's Travels bruxism involuntary and habitual grinding of the teeth bumbo a drink of rum, sugar, water, and nutmeg burnsides a moustache in combination with whiskers on the cheeks but no beard on the chin cacoethes an urge to do something inadvisable callipygian having shapely buttocks callithumpian like a discordant band or a noisy parade camisado a military attack carried out at night canorous melodious or resonant cantillate to chant or intone a passage of religious text carphology convulsive or involuntary movements made by delirious patients, such as plucking at the bedclothes catoptromancy foretelling the future by means of a mirror cereology the study or investigation of crop circles cerulean deep sky blue chad a piece of waste paper produced by punching a hole chalkdown S. African informal a teachers' strike chanticleer a rooster in a fairy tale chiliad a thousand things or a thousand years chump change N. Amer. informal a small or insignificant sum of money claggy Brit. dialect sticky or able to form sticky lumps clepsydra an early clock using the flow of water into or out of a container colporteur a person who peddles books, newspapers, or other writings, especially bibles and religious tracts comess W. Indian a confused or noisy situation commensalism an association between two organisms in which one benefits from the relationship and the other derives neither harm nor benefit comminatory threatening, punitive, or vengeful concinnity elegance or neatness of literary or artistic style congius an ancient Roman liquid measure equal in modern terms to about 6 imperial pints conniption (or conniption fit) N. Amer. informal a fit of rage or hysterics constellate to gather together in a cluster or group coprolalia the involuntary repetitive use of obscene language coriaceous like leather couthy Scottish (of a person) warm and friendly; (of a place) cosy and comfortable criticaster a minor or incompetent critic crore Indian ten million crottle a lichen used in Scotland to make a brownish dye for wool croze a groove at the end of a cask or barrel in which the head is fixed cryptozoology the search for and study of animals whose existence is unproven, such as the Loch Ness monster and the yeti cudbear a purple or violet powder used for dyeing, made from lichen cupreous of or like copper cyanic blue; azure cybersquatting the practice of registering well-known names as Internet domain names, in the hope of reselling them at a profit dariole a small round metal mould used in French cooking for an individual sweet or savoury dish deasil clockwise or in the direction of the sun's course decubitus Medicine the posture of someone who is lying down or lying in bed deedy industrious or effective defervescence Medicine the lessening of a fever deglutition the action or process of swallowing degust to taste food or drink carefully, so as to fully appreciate it deipnosophist a person skilled in the art of dining and dinner-table conversation deracinate to tear something up by the roots deterge to cleanse something thoroughly didi Indian an older sister or female cousin digerati people with expertise or professional involvement in information technology dight clothed or equipped; also, to make something ready for use discobolus a discus thrower in ancient Greece disembogue to emerge or pour out (used of a river or stream) disenthral to set someone free from enslavement divagate to stray or digress divaricate to stretch or spread apart donkey engine a small auxiliary engine on a ship donkeyman a man working in a ship's engine room doryphore a pedantic and annoyingly persistent critic of others dotish W. Indian stupid or silly douceur a financial inducement or bribe draff dregs or refuse dragoman an interpreter or professional guide for travellers, especially one in countries in which Arabic, Turkish, or Persian is spoken dumbsize to reduce the staff numbers of a company to such low levels that work can no longer be carried out effectively dwaal S. African a dreamy, dazed, or absent-minded state ecdysiast a striptease performer edacious having to do with eating or fond of eating effable able to be described in words. Its opposite, ineffable, is more widely used. emacity fondness for buying things emmetropia the normal condition of the eye: perfect vision empasm a perfumed powder sprinkled on the body to prevent sweating or for medicinal purposes ensorcell to enchant or fascinate someone entomophagy the eating of insects, especially by people erf S. African a plot of land ergometer an apparatus which measures energy expended during physical exercise erubescent reddening or blushing e-tailer a retailer who sells goods on the Internet etui a small ornamental case for holding needles, cosmetics, and other articles eucatastrophe a happy ending to a story eurhythmic in harmonious proportion eviternity eternal existence or everlasting duration exequies funeral rites exsanguine bloodless or anaemic extramundane outside or beyond the physical world eye candy visual images that are superficially attractive and entertaining but intellectually undemanding eyewater W. Indian tears famulus an assistant or attendant, especially one working for a magician or scholar fankle Scottish to tangle or entangle something fipple the mouthpiece of a recorder or similar wind instrument flatline to die flews the thick pendulous lips of a bloodhound or similar dog floccinaucinihilipilification the action or habit of estimating something as worthless (a word generally only quoted as a curiosity) flocculent having or resembling tufts of wool force-ripe West Indian old or mature in certain respects without having developed fully in others forehanded chiefly N. Amer. prudent or thrifty frondeur a political rebel fugacious transient or fleeting funambulist a tightrope walker furuncle a boil fuscous dark and sombre in colour futhark the Scandinavian runic alphabet futz to waste time or busy oneself aimlessly gaberlunzie Scottish archaic a beggar gaita a kind of bagpipe played in northern Spain and Portugal galligaskins a type of loose breeches worn in the 16th and 17th centuries gallus Scottish bold or daring gasconade extravagant boasting glabrous (of skin) hairless or (of a leaf) having no down glaikit Scottish & N. English stupid, foolish, or thoughtless gnathic having to do with the jaws gobemouche a gullible or credulous listener goodfella a gangster, especially a member of a Mafia family guddle Scottish to fish with one's hands by groping under the stones or banks of a stream habile deft or skilful hallux Anatomy the big toe haruspex a religious official in ancient Rome who inspected the entrails of sacrificial animals in order to foretell the future higgler W. Indian a person who travels from place to place selling small items hinky US informal dishonest, suspect, or unreliable hoddy-noddy a foolish person hodiernal of today hoggin a mixture of sand and gravel, used especially in road-building hongi a traditional Maori greeting or salutation made by pressing or touching noses howff Scottish a favourite meeting place or haunt, especially a pub humdudgeon an imaginary illness hunt-and-peck using only one or two fingers on a computer keyboard hwyl a stirring feeling of emotional motivation and energy which is associated with the Welsh people illywhacker Austral. informal a small-time confidence trickster incrassate thickened in form or consistency incunabula books printed before 1501 ingurgitate to swallow something greedily inspissate to thicken or congeal inunct to apply ointment to someone or something jumbuck Austral. informal a sheep jumentous resembling horse's urine jungli Indian uncultured or wild karateka a person who performs karate keek Scottish to peep surreptitiously kenspeckle Scottish conspicuous or easily recognizable kinnikinnick a substance consisting of dried sumac leaves and willow or dogwood bark, smoked by North American Indians kylie Austral. a boomerang labarum a banner or flag bearing symbolic motifs lablab a tropical Asian plant of the pea family lactarium a dairy liripipe the long dangling tail of a medieval academic hood loblolly a North American pine tree with very long slender needles lobola among southern African peoples, the money or cattle given by a bridegroom's family to the bride's family logomachy an argument about words lollygag to spend time in an aimless or lazy way luculent (of speech or writing) clearly expressed lycanthropy the supernatural transformation of a person into a wolf macushla Irish an affectionate form of address mallam a learned man or scribe in Nigeria and other parts of Africa mamaguy W. Indian to try to deceive someone by flattering them or telling them lies martlet Heraldry a small, swallow-like bird with tufts of feathers in place of legs and feet mazel tov a Jewish expression used to congratulate someone or wish them good luck meacock a coward or effeminate person merkin an artificial covering of hair for the pubic area merrythought a bird's wishbone mim Scottish modest or demure in an affected or priggish way mimsy rather feeble and prim or over-restrained (coined by Lewis Carroll in Through the Looking Glass) minacious menacing or threatening minibeast Brit. informal a small invertebrate animal such as an insect or spider misogamy the hatred of marriage mistigris a joker or other extra card played as a wild card in some versions of poker mixologist N. Amer. informal a person who is skilled at mixing cocktails and other drinks mollitious luxurious or sensuous momism excessive attachment to or domination by one's mother monkey's wedding S. African simultaneous rain and sunshine monorchid having only one testicle moonraker a native of the county of Wiltshire mouse potato a person who spends large amounts of their leisure or working time on a computer mudlark a person who scavenges in riverside mud at low tide for anything of value muktuk the skin and blubber of a whale, eaten by the Inuit people mumpsimus a traditional custom or notion that is adhered to although it has been shown to be unreasonable nacarat a bright orange-red colour nagware computer software which is free for a trial period and thereafter frequently reminds the user to pay for it nainsook a fine, soft cotton fabric, originally made in the Indian subcontinent natation swimming nesh Brit. dialect weak, delicate, or feeble netizen a habitual or keen user of the Internet noctambulist a sleepwalker noyade an execution carried out by drowning nugacity triviality or frivolity nympholepsy passion or rapture aroused in men by beautiful young girls obnubilate to darken, dim, or obscure something ogdoad a group or set of eight omophagy the eating of raw food, especially meat omphalos the centre or hub of something onolatry the worship of donkeys or asses o-o an endangered Hawaiian bird, a species of honeyeater operose involving or displaying a lot of effort opsimath a person who begins to learn or study late in life orectic having to do with desire or appetite orrery a clockwork model of the solar system, or the sun, earth, and moon ortanique a cross between an orange and a tangerine otalgia earache oxter Scottish & N. English a person's armpit paludal living or occurring in a marshy habitat Pantagruelian enormous panurgic able or ready to do anything parapente an aerofoil parachute, used for gliding paraph a flourish after a signature patulous (of the boughs of a tree, for example) spreading pavonine to do with or resembling a peacock pedicular to do with lice peely-wally Scottish looking pale and unwell peever Scottish hopscotch periapt an item worn as a charm or amulet petcock a small valve in a steam engine or boiler, used for drainage or for reducing pressure peterman a person who breaks open and robs safes pettitoes pig's trotters, especially as food piacular making or requiring atonement pilgarlic a bald-headed man, or a person regarded with mild contempt pinguid resembling fat; oily or greasy piscatorial connected with fishermen or fishing pleurodynia severe pain in the muscles between the ribs or in the diaphragm plew a beaver skin pneumonoul­tramicrosc­opicsilico­volcanocon­iosis an invented term said to mean ‘a lung disease caused by inhaling very fine ash and sand dust’, but rarely used except for its curiosity value pogey Canadian informal unemployment or welfare benefit pollex Anatomy the thumb pooter a suction bottle for collecting insects and other small invertebrates portolan a book containing sailing directions with hand-drawn charts and descriptions of harbours and coasts posology the branch of medicine concerned with the size and frequency of doses of a medicine or a drug possident a possessor, i.e. a person who owns something pother a commotion or fuss pre-loved second-hand presenteeism the compulsion to spend longer at work than is required or to continue working despite illness previse to foresee or predict an event probang a strip of flexible material with a sponge or tuft at the end, used to remove a foreign body from the throat or to apply medication to it prosopagnosia an inability to recognize the faces of familiar people, typically as a result of brain damage puddle jumper a small, light aircraft which is fast and highly manoeuvrable and used for short trips puddysticks S. African children's word very easy pyknic a technical description of a stocky physique with a rounded body and head, thickset trunk, and a tendency to fat pyroclastic relating to fragments of rock erupted by a volcano ragtop a convertible car with a soft roof ratite (of a bird such as the ostrich or emu) unable to fly because of having a flat breastbone, to which no flight muscles are attached rawky foggy, damp, and cold razzia a raid carried out by Moors in North Africa rebirthing a form of therapy involving controlled breathing and intended to simulate the trauma of being born resurrection man a person who, in past times, illicitly exhumed corpses from burial grounds and sold them to anatomists for dissection retiform resembling a net rhinoplasty plastic surgery performed on the nose rubiginous rust-coloured rubricate to add elaborate capital letters (typically red ones) or other decorations to a manuscript rude boy Jamaican a lawless or rebellious unemployed urban youth who likes ska or reggae music rug rat N. Amer. a child rumpot N. Amer. a habitual or heavy drinker sangoma a traditional healer or witch doctor in southern Africa sarmie S. African informal a sandwich saucier a sauce chef saudade a feeling of longing or melancholy that is supposedly characteristic of the Portuguese or Brazilian temperament scofflaw a person who flouts the law screenager a person in their teens or twenties who has an aptitude for using computers and the Internet scrippage one's baggage and personal belongings selkie Scottish a mythical sea creature like a seal in water but human on land serac a pinnacle or ridge of ice on the surface of a glacier sesquipedalian (of a word) having many syllables or (of a piece of writing) using many long words shallop a light sailing boat used chiefly for coastal fishing shamal a hot, dry north-westerly wind that blows across the Persian Gulf in summer and causes sandstorms shavetail US military slang a newly commissioned officer, or any inexperienced person shippon Brit. dialect a cattle shed shofar a ram's-horn trumpet used in Jewish religious ceremonies and, in ancient times, to sound a battle signal skanky N. Amer. informal revolting skelf Scottish a splinter or sliver of wood skimmington a kind of procession once undertaken to make an example of a nagging wife or an unfaithful husband skycap a porter at an airport snakebitten N. Amer. informal unlucky or doomed to misfortune snollygoster a shrewd or unprincipled person sockdolager US informal a heavy blow solander a protective box made in the form of a book, for holding items such as botanical specimens, maps, and colour plates soucouyant a kind of witch, in eastern Caribbean folklore, who is believed to shed her skin by night and suck the blood of her victims soul case N. Amer. & W. Indian the human body soul catcher a hollowed bone tube used by a North American Indian medicine man to keep a sick person's soul safe while they are sick spaghettification the process by which (in some theories) an object would be stretched and ripped apart by gravitational forces on falling into a black hole spitchcock an eel, split and then grilled or fried splanchnic having to do with the the viscera or internal organs, especially those of the abdomen spurrier a person who makes spurs stercoraceous consisting of or resembling dung or faeces sternutator something that causes sneezing stiction the frictional force which hinders an object from being moved while in contact with another strappado a punishment or torture in which the victim was hoisted in the air on a rope and then allowed to fall almost to the ground before being stopped with an abrupt jerk strigil an instrument with a curved blade used by ancient Greeks and Romans to scrape sweat and dirt from the skin in a hot-air bath or after exercise struthious having to do with or resembling an ostrich studmuffin N. Amer. humorous a sexually attractive, muscular man stylite a early Christian ascetic who lived standing on top of a pillar subfusc the dark formal clothing worn for examinations and ceremonial or formal occasions at some universities. submontane passing under or through mountains, or situated on the lower slopes of a mountain range succuss to shake something vigorously, especially a homeopathic remedy sudd an area of floating vegetation that impedes navigation in a stretch of the White Nile suedehead a youth like a skinhead but with slightly longer hair and smarter clothes sun-grazing (of a comet) having an orbit which passes close to the sun superbious proud and overbearing superette N. Amer. a small supermarket taniwha a mythical monster which, according to Maori legend, lives in very deep water tappen the plug by which the rectum of a bear is closed during hibernation tellurian of or inhabiting the earth, or an inhabitant of the earth testudo a device used in siege warfare in ancient Rome, consisting of a wheeled screen with an arched roof (literally a ‘tortoise’) thalassic relating to the sea thaumatrope a scientific toy devised in the 19th century. It consisted of a disc with a different picture on each of its two sides: when the disc was rotated rapidly about a diameter, these pictures appeared to combine into one image. thirstland S. African a desert or large arid area thrutch N. English a narrow gorge or ravine thurifer a person carrying a censer, or thurible, of burning incense during religious ceremonies tiffin chiefly Indian a light meal, especially lunch tigon the hybrid off spring of a male tiger and a lioness (the offspring of a male lion and a tigress being a liger) tokoloshe in African folklore, a mischievous and lascivious hairy water sprite toplofty N. Amer. informal haughty and arrogant transpicuous transparent triskaidekaphobia extreme superstition about the number thirteen triskelion a Celtic symbol consisting of three radiating legs or curved lines, such as the emblem of the Isle of Man tsantsa a human head shrunk as a war trophy by the Jivaro people of Ecuador turbary the legal right to cut turf or peat for fuel on common ground or on another person's ground ulu a short-handled knife with a broad crescent-shaped blade, used by Inuit women. umbriferous shady uncinate (of a part of the body) having a hooked shape uniped a person or animal with only one foot or leg uroboros a circular symbol depicting a snake (or a dragon) swallowing its tail, intended as an emblem of wholeness or infinity ustad Indian an expert or highly skilled person, especially a musician vagarious erratic and unpredictable in behaviour or direction velleity a wish or inclination which is not strong enough to lead one to take action verjuice a sour juice obtained from crab apples or unripe grapes vicinal neighbouring or adjacent vidiot N. Amer. informal a habitual, undiscriminating watcher of television or videotapes vomitous N. Amer. nauseating or repulsive wabbit Scottish exhausted or slightly unwell waitron N. Amer. a waiter or waitress wakeboarding the sport of riding on a short, wide board while being towed behind a motor boat wayzgoose an annual summer party and outing that used to be held by a printing house for all its employees winebibber a heavy drinker wish book N. Amer. informal a mail-order catalogue wittol a man who knows of and tolerates his wife's infidelity woopie an affluent retired person able to pursue an active lifestyle (from the initials of well-off older person) wowser chiefly Austral./NZ a puritanical, prudish person or a killjoy xenology the scientific study of extraterrestrial phenomena ylem (in big bang theory) the primordial matter of the universe zetetic proceeding by inquiry or investigation zoolatry the worship of animals zopissa a medicinal preparation made from wax and pitch scraped from the sides of ships zorro a South American kind of fox Zyrian a former term for Komi, a language spoken in an area of Russia west of the Urals; at present the last entry in the Oxford English Dictionary

After watching Joker (2019) and analysing some of its themes for my own fun/exploration, I've put together a kind of presentation here in this post. I really hope you enjoy it. It's a long post, but - I mean, it's longform, and hopefully interesting enough that by the end of this I'll have changed some of your opinions, and also it does have pictures. So if you're into pictures, or you're thinking about getting into pictures, strap in and get those cameras out.
Two important notes before going on: First, just because I'm reading something as a symbol or a theme doesn't mean it was written as a symbol or a theme. Second, this post will contain a lot of spoilers for Joker (2019), so watch it!
The themes we're looking at are:
1) Inner Light (The Masked)
2) Inspiration (Giving Attention)
3) Marginalization (Insignificance)
4) Obscurity (Masking) - Main Theme
5) Inner Dark (The Mask)
6) Expression (Not Receiving Attention)
7) Punchline (Significance)
The order of this list is meant to show some kind of progression, but this post doesn't really follow the chronology of the plot because these themes are peppered throughout the movie, so we'll jump around. In the notes for each theme, you might see elements of the others, because they are of course not presented separately in the movie. The order still suggests a kind of narrative, with 4 at the centre: 1 corresponds to 5, 2 corresponds to 6, 3 corresponds to 7, and 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9.
Anyway, enough of that boring stuff. Take a look at this boring stuff:

Theme breakdown

1) Inner Light (The masked)

Description:

This theme is about identity. In a time when Gotham City's true inner brilliance is unable to shine, poor Arthur's situation epitomizes that of the entire populace at their lowest. He's torn between two versions of himself: a dark, maladaptive and uncontrollable social persona is covering up a light set of true inner virtues and aspirations which can't be developed or expressed. Over time, Arthur's dark side begins to eclipse his light side.

Examples (with gallery of captioned images at the end):

• The movie's opening shot establishes the theme of inner virtue unable to shine by showing Arthur mask his emotions with clown makeup. On the radio, we learn that Gotham's business owners are unable to thrive due to a gahbage strike, literally blocking entrances to businesses.
  
• Several times, Arthur is shown spontaneously expressing himself through dance in a very high style, while wearing the garment of a very low expression, the street clown. This shows that he has more virtue on the inside than we see on the outside.
  
• As the story develops, the part of Arthur's self which he identifies as his true self (which he's trying to free/reveal) shifts from his light side to his dark side:
  
  • Arthur suffers from involuntary laughter which "doesn't match how you feel," suggesting a truer self within which is less dark and disturbing.
  • In the movie's middle act, while Thomas Wayne gives an inspiring speech on TV decrying Arthur's clown compatriots, Arthur nods as though inspired; he's inspired by the screaming clowns in the background, not Wayne's speech. As he begins to see his dark persona as his true expression, his focus is shifting from the explicit and honest (light), to the implicit and masking (dark).
  • Once Arthur embraces his dark side, he claims that his involuntary laughter is not a condition, a mask, but that it's the real him.
• Incongruence, feeling like something is off, can be used to point out or imply underlying truth/correctness by contrast. Mirroring/reversal seems to be the main expression of this:
  
  • When Penny writes Arthur's name in her letter, she begins with a large lowercase A, and ends with a small capital R. Not only is this incorrect (see me after class), therefore suggesting a missed correct outcome (a light inner truth), I see it as a metaphor for how Penny has influenced Arthur's life: the A is his underdeveloped youth (its arrested development), and the R is his catching up later in life (maladaptive maturity).
• Gallery, with more examples.
  

2) Inspiration (Giving attention)

Description:

This theme is about nourishment [asked Abacus what this theme is about & heard an agreement: "Nourishment" 11----/1---11/-1--11 & 11-1-1 Dec 17, 2019 14:53:29 I don't think it's necessary to do this for the ones where that phrase is already derived from a divination, actually...]. You are what you eat. What feeds and informs Arthur's behaviour? What inspires his expressions? Feeding, informing, and encouraging are covered in this theme - not only verbal encouragement of behaviour in the form of conversation, but also media (TV in particular), food, and drugs.

Examples:

• As Arthur's feeds his mother Penny in the first act, she encourages him to eat too. However, he eats and drinks nothing in this movie, nourishing himself only with 7 different prescription medications, TV, cigarettes, and, in the final scene, blood.
  
  • During this early scene, Penny discloses what feeds her own behaviour: not conversation, but TV. This establishes the TV as an informing factor which will inspire (nourish/inform) characters' behaviour.
  • Two pivotal scenes feature Arthur taking prescription medication and then immediately watching TV: the Murray Franklin daydream, and Thomas Wayne's "clown" interview. Both instances inspire Arthur's future actions (the first inspires his light side, the second inspires his dark side).
• Arthur was inspired by his mother, who told him that his purpose was to spread laughter. This seems to have gradually influenced Arthur to identify his dark mask, which spreads laughter, as his true self.
  
  • When Arthur holds a photograph of his mother in reverse to read the message, he's holding a cigarette as well. The filter points towards Penny's mouth, and between her mouth and the cigarette is the handwritten message, "love your smile." This message is a major inspiration for Arthur's clown makeup and persona. Cigarettes may be a symbol for this poisonous nourishment. At first he uses cigarettes when he's stressed, but after embracing his dark persona he starts using them to fuel and enhance it.
• Usually when Arthur watches TV, it seems to be informing his identity and inspiring his expressions by providing him with models for his behaviour.
  
  • Murray Franklin's comedy informs Arthur's aspiration to make people laugh.
  • Arthur sees a movie featuring a cast of black characters happily singing as they scrub a boat clean, depicting slavery. Arthur ought to identify with these characters - like him, they're using expressions of happiness to mask the pain inspired by marginalization. However, he points a gun at the TV as they sing - they characterize his frustration, but he's too frustrated to feel the connection. Instead, their singing seems to inspire his dark side, as he dances through his feelings. When he accidentally fires the pistol, he turns up the volume of the TV to mask the pain of his marginalization, pretending he was lost in the entertainment of a war movie (an expression of happiness).
• Arthur sees an artist's impression of him as an angry clown on the cover of a newspaper. He scowls, doing his own impression of the artist's impression. This demonstrates the feedback loop of inspiration and expression which Arthur is losing himself in. With no proper inspiration (encouragement; nourishment) from his environment, his only inspiration becomes his own reflection, warped through the lens of mainstream news.
  
  • He then looks directly into the lens of the camera, implying the viewer's involvement in this loop of inspiration and expression. This seems to be a direct commentary on the way that media informs behaviour, particularly the behaviour of those who aren't being properly informed elsewhere, and furthermore, on the fact that we are now putting ourselves into media so frequently (mostly through social media, but also the increasing ubiquity of fame), tending towards a feedback loop where our expressions are inspired exclusively by reflections of our own most affection-hungry and truth-masking behaviour. I believe this thesis is laid out in this shot of Joker behind the stage curtain of the Murray Franklin show, dancing alone (in contrast to the male-female pair beside him) smoking a cigarette, standing in-between a full-length mirror and a TV set which face one another (which would cause a feedback loop which we can't see).
  • This theme carries through, beyond the apparent confines of the work itself, into the media surrounding the movie's release. Warnings were issued which predicted that the movie might inspire violent behaviour. I believe the filmmakers are making the same commentary intended by those warnings, if not consciously then at least intuitively/subconsciously.
• Gallery, with more examples.
  

3) Marginalization (Insignificance)

Description:

This theme is about smallness. It explores ways in which Arthur is not enough - he doesn't measure up to the standards of society, making him a small and insignificant member (like your dad's). At either end of society in Gotham, there are margins. Arthur (and clowns) represent the lower margins, and the Waynes (and their "family" of employees) represent the upper margins, giving us a look at the two extreme ends of the spectrum of the city's fortune.

Examples:

• The dramatic history of the Flecks and Waynes, and Thomas Wayne's ignoring of Penny Fleck, sets them into direct contrast. When Arthur visits Wayne Manor and taunts Bruce, he either crouches behind the wall or it's the exact most annoying height for a wall. Either way, he appears too short to be fully visible to Bruce, demonstrating that he's small compared to the even smallest Wayne.
  
• Arthur works with a dwarf, Gary. In the scene where Gary and Randall go to Arthur's apartment, the camera doesn't pan down to Gary's height immediately, so the viewer doesn't realize he's there. I didn't see this as a joke (which wouldn't fit the tone of the movie or scene) but as an indication that he's left out (marginalized).
  
  • When Arthur brutally kills Randall in front of Gary, he allows Gary to leave because he's the only person who's shown him kindness-. The kiss on Gary's forehead here might represent mental scarring by violence (extreme example of the inspiration theme). This shows the inescapability of this impending wave of chaos for marginalized Gothamites - being nice isn't enough to escape the poisonous nourishment.
• Arthur's transition from someone nobody listens to into someone everybody pays attention to is reminiscent of the kind of spiritual path described by Alan Watts in one of his lectures on "The Joker" (which was an analogy to the playing card, not necessarily the comic book character). He pointed out that both monks and criminals make themselves outcasts from society, bur criminals go below caste while monks go above caste. He says that because Buddhist monks wanted to symbolize that they were not taking part in society, making themselves exempt from the protection of law, they began the tradition of wearing orange robes, because that's the colour prisoners wore. By donning the attire ("expression," for the purposes of this analysis) of criminals (inspiration), the monks subverted (punchline) their marginalization. The small are on the razor's edge; on the threshold. Bottom connects to top by subversion as red connects to blue by purple, the usual colour of Joker's attire in other media, which is outside the spectrum. By donning (after inspiring) the mask of the marginalized members of society, Joker ends the movie on top of a police car, standing tall above the rioting crowd, having used expression to cross the threshold margin of his marginalization: he's now above caste; above the law.
  
• Gallery, with more examples.
  

4) Obscurity (Masking) - Main Theme

Description:

This theme is about hiding. The true self is not absent, it's just being covered up. The dominant theme in this movie seems to be covering and obscuring, from masking emotions to family cover-up stories. In Joker, we watch the extreme journey of a man who has adapted to a world which obscures him, making him question whether or not he even existed, by obscuring himself, until his situation is subverted, by some unclear mix of momentum and intention.

Examples:

• False expressions of happiness masking truth are where this theme is most relevant to Arthur's story. Arthur's pathological laughter and emotional withdrawal into clown makeup are clear instances of this. We also saw this theme in the African American singers on TV.
  
  • Penny, Alfred, Sophie, and debatably Thomas Wayne, each have a scene where they flash a brief false smiles as they talk, while masking how they feel (in the case of the female, lower-marginal, Penny and Sophie) or the information they're delivering (in the case of the male, upper-marginal, Alfred and Thomas). In Penny's scene, she is fully naked in front of Arthur (gross), but she is still masking her emotions.
• Arthur's own history and identity is obscured from him by his mother, and potentially by Thomas Wayne - somebody has invented a story to mask the truth, but it's unclear who because the information is incomplete.
  
  • The viewer is made to feel this as well, left with the task of parsing out the film's true events from masking fantasies experienced by Arthur, a task which seems impossible because the information is incomplete.
  • In all Batman stories up to this point, Joker's origin has been unknown. Perhaps, to the Batman of this movie's potential sequels, it will also be unknown - this would fit with Arthur's character, who is obscure and unheard, no longer referenced after having been consumed by his dark side.
• Several shots occur where light is obscured, such as when Arthur is delusionally believing his comedy performance is going well (sound is obscured here as well, which happens several times), or when he gets his mum to look really closely at her pillow to make sure it's the right size (obscuring her face), his head obscures the sun from the window behind him.
  
  • This is subverted in the movie's final shot, where a bright light can't be obscured by Arthur's dancing (it's presumably overlaid on top of him as a post effect, or they must have used like 10 or 12 flashlights all at once).
• Arthur's face is obscured many times throughout the movie, often by bars and mesh wire, and often by virtue of him facing away from the camera (see the gallery below for several examples). Notably, after the subway murders, we hardly see Arthur's face except when he finishes his dance in the bathroom, posing with arms outstretched like in the comedy club, slightly unbalanced, with a bloody nose.
  
  • This theme is subverted at the end of the movie, where the faces of the Waynes are obscured by smoke from a rioting clown as they leave the theatre.
• Gallery, with more examples.
  

5) Inner Dark (The mask)

Description:

This is about darkness. The lighter self is what is obscured, the masking is how it's obscured, and the darkness is both what is obscuring it, and its absence. Darkness is a deviation from what is true and natural for Arthur. Like a lot of modern movies, Joker is digitally colour-graded so that most warm colours are orange, and most cool colours are orange's complementary colour, teal (once you see it, can't never unsee it). I see a lot of this movie's use of teal (or blue/cyan) as a symbol for Arthur's dark side. In the gallery, I also note some examples of this theme expressed as absence or emptiness.

Examples:

• During the Murray Franklin daydream, he turns off the lights so that the entire scene is teal. In the daydream, Murray has lit Arthur up in orange as he describes himself positively. But after Arthur says his mother told him he's here to spread joy and laughter, the shot pans to a studio monitor, where Arthur now appears teal. Even other audience members around him remain orange. Arthur has been darkly tinged by his naive ingestion of his mother's words, projected through TV. Cutting back to reality, Arthur is wearing a hypnotized expression as he stares at the TV, his face fully teal, a shot which reoccurs when he sees the clown protestors on TV later. In real life, Arthur is embodying the dark TV projection of himself.
  
• Arthur's dancing scenes are mostly in shadow, or feature light behind him. Most notably, Arthur dancing in a public bathroom after committing murder occurs during a fully teal sequence in which we only see Arthur's face when he himself looks in the mirror - he is now not only projecting darkness (TV), but reflecting darkness (mirrors). Later when he dances between a mirror and a TV, he's not only in total silhouette, he's standing in the teal section of the orange and teal curtains, bordered by orange.
  
• When Arthur later sees Murray Franklin making fun of his comedy on TV, he appears orange on the TV, not teal. After seeing himself the way others do (TV: orange, unmasked), not the way he sees himself (mirror: teal, masked), Arthur ensures that from now on, only his teal, masked persona will be broadcast on TV. When he appears on Murray Franklin's show, all of the monitors (and his reflection on a camera lens) show him with orange skin and teal makeup, and after the murder, he appears fully teal when addressing a camera up-close (the second time he looks directly at the viewer, now in teal).
  
• Gallery, with more examples.
  

6) Expression (Not receiving attention)

Description:

This is about not being heard. Expression is explored through the lens of its failure. Arthur wants to be famous and make people laugh - he wants to express himself, and see his expressions acknowledged, inspiring others.

Examples:

• In Arthur's daydream about the Murray Franklin show, he fantasizes that Murray would listen to him, notice his affection, and acknowledge his virtues. In his first, probably real, encounter with Sophie, he sees his ideal when she says to her daughter "we hear you," demonstrating that she's somebody who listens.
  
• Arthur and his mum don't listen to one another, and the world doesn't listen to them either. The Arkham asylum records show that when Arthur was an abused child, Penny claimed not to hear him crying. Arthur walks into an automatic door which doesn't see him, and Thomas Wayne keeps ignoring Penny's DMs.
  
• Arthur frequently expresses himself, seemingly only his dark side, through dance. When Arthur dances with his mum, indulging in his fantasy that he went on a date, he ignores her talking about how Thomas Wayne ignores her. Then, he tells her about his date, and she ignores him.
  
• Arthur, accusing his therapist of not listening to him, tells her that people are starting to notice he exists. Finally, now he's murdering people, he's receiving attention and acknowledgement, which engages him into society and socialization:
  
  • When Thomas Wayne appears on TV, Arthur ignores him and Penny until she says it's about the subway murders, and Arthur is suddenly engaged.
  • Arthur ignores an answering machine message from Murray Franklin's booking agent until she says people are paying attention to him, which engages him to pick up the phone.
• When Arthur runs away after committing murder, and after stealing records from Arkham Asylum, he isn't actually being chased. Nobody is paying attention to his expressive outbursts. In the final shot, this is subverted: he's being chased up and down the corridors by Arkham staff. The music is That's Life, Arthur's inspiration, which exemplifies his masking of truth with the expression of happiness in its music and lyrics: "I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball, and die." If you only heard the music and couldn't understand Sinatra's words, you would think he is merely having a ball.
  
• Gallery, with more examples.
  

7) Punchline (Significance)

Description:

This is about becoming something new. In a joke, the set-up obscures the punchline, which subverts the set-up. The set-up forms an understanding in the mind of the audience, and the punchline removes this understanding, usually by correcting it. This unmasking of truth Some comedians see the emotional reaction (laughter) to be the end goal. Others consider the emotional reaction to be a way to have an audience continue to pay attention, so that the understandings established or implied in the set-up can be changed by the punchline. This tends to be the case with more thoughtful comedians who intentionally use comedy to subvert beliefs, such as George Carlin, Bill Hicks, and Jerry from Tom and Jerry.

Examples:

• In this movie, broadly speaking, Arthur is the set-up and Joker (specifically, his horrifying surprise on the Murray Franklin show) is the punchline. We see that in this movie punchlines tend not to reveal a real hidden truth, but a mask identified as true. This suggests a kind of dark and sad joke, which is on the comedian himself, because he doesn't fully "get it" (he's not identifying the truth properly).
  
• The subversion of Gotham city's opinions by Arthur's expressions. Set-up: there's a gahbage problem covering up the city's civility and prosperity. Punchline: there's a civility and prosperity problem holding back the city's gahbage. For this reversal to work, people would have to identify with gahbage, so instead, that metaphor is replaced by that of the clown, symbolized by Arthur covering a gahbage can with a clown mask after subverting his position in society relative to the law (which is also kind of a joke, but without that, the section on smallness is too small - just remember the monks wearing prison colours, or use your PC or Macintosh's scroll feature to navigate back up the page for a handy refresher).
  
• Arthur seeing himself mocked on the Murray Franklin show. Set-up: He expressed his true self on stage, and was received by a laughing audience, attracting his ideal partner. Punchline: Nobody was laughing, and Sophie wasn't really there... BECAUSE SHE HADN'T REALLY BEEN INVITED.
  
• When Arthur laughs in one of the last scenes, the Arkham psychologist asks him why. He says he thought of a joke, which could be an excuse to mask his condition, but the movie intercuts shots of Bruce Wayne standing by his deceased parents, suggesting that Joker... won't get the last laugh. Joker himself is the set-up to the punchline of Batman.
  
• There are various humorous aspects of the movie, such as Alfred's name, A. Fleck, looking similar to the surname of Batman actor Ben Affleck, Joaquin Phoenix's first name looking similar to the word "joking," as well as some dark and eerie things like most of the clocks in the movie being set to 11:11, or the light shining on Arthur in the Murray Franklin daydream at the exact 13th minute of the movie. However, since these are all coincidences, it wouldn't be very logical to include them here in earnest because the laws of chance say coincidences just happen, and we're bound to read patterns into them when they aren't really there. So just forget about these ones.
  
• Quite a fun little joke/prank that I've been enjoying, personally, is writing "gahbage" instead of "garbage."
  
• In fact, this entire post is technically joke. The set-up is that after watching Joker I wrote down all the themes that I had noticed in the movie. In reality, that's not what happened. Before watching the movie, I knew next to nothing about it and had no specific expectations. I had avoided spoilers, I hadn't read any reviews, or watched any videos or talked to anyone about it. And yet, the main themes weren't identified after I watched the movie, but about 10 minutes before. I didn't make them up, I didn't figure them out, I didn't guess, and I didn't get them from any published or unpublished source of information, or from any living being or electronic device. So, how did I arrive at these predictions?
  

This is the punchline, and the hidden reason behind my post: I'm presenting a way of analysing media using a newly developed method of divination. Surprisingly, it is real, and it is effective. After going into some detail below, I'll briefly show examples of this method having predicted the themes of unreleased media accurately (Star Wars; the 2 most recent episodes of The Mandalorian, along with a divination for the unreleased Rise of Skywalker).
The divination method I'm developing uses the 64 binary figures of the I Ching (Wikipedia link), each of which describes a particular theme/concept using 6 binary bits. I arrive at one of these figures, or a combination, using either 3 or 6 half-black, half-white beads, spun around arbitrarily without looking. I photograph the result and record it in a combination of 1's and -'s.
In this instance, I first used three beads to arrive at this figure (please click it for a photo and a brief explanation): 1-1---
This is figure 36 of the I Ching, "Darkening of the Light." It means for something to be obscured or hidden. The text in the I Ching under this figure discusses hiding one's virtue or being unable to shine, using the metaphors of sunset, eclipse, and acting insane or wearing a disguise in order to hide from oppression. Each binary figure can be seen as two halves. Here, 1-1, meaning light or awareness, is below ("inner"), and ---, the responding/absorbing principle, is above ("outer"). Light is being hidden within, because something is in front of it, absorbing and blocking the light. This gave me the main theme of the movie, Obscurity, and the language of masking, as well as the notion of an Inner Light.
The meanings of the I Ching's 64 figures are not prescribed, they are described, based on many thousands of years of divination results by thousands of people, and the logic of dual relativity as it is expressed in the natural world.
To understand how it might be possible that something like this could be true, consider this quote from Jonathan Pageau discussing his concept "symbolism happens" on YouTube: "When I talk about symbolism, what I'm talking about is the notion that underneath our stories, underneath images, underneath the way we experience the world, there are patterns, and those patterns are really the patterns of how reality lays itself out." You could say that the same force which gives rise to meaningful coincidences and synchronicities in our lives also gives rise to the results in divinations, which express meaning using very simplified versions of those patterns by which "reality lays itself out."
Moments after obtaining the first divination, I used the 6 bead method to obtain a more complicated one, which gave me the themes of Marginalization, Inspiration, Inner Dark, and Punchline, each from one of the specific 64 figures.
-111--/111111/1---11 (--11--, -1--1-, 1----1).
-111--/111111/1---11 is the main "phrase" of three figures, which I'll explain first. The primary figure is -111-- Enduring (figure 32) because I record white (or mostly-white) beads as yang (1) in the primary figure, and black beads as yin (-).
All beads are changing (in-between black and white), and I record changing beads as yang in the second figure, so the second figure is 111111 Initiating (1).
To produce the third figure, all lines of -111-- are changed (because all lines in the second figure are yang) resulting in 1---11 Increase (42).
Taken together, this phrase -111--/111111/1---11 isn't easy for me to understand or describe, but it gave me the idea of set-up > punchline. Because all lines change, it describes a very broad idea on its own, the relationship between increasing and enduring: when something goes on for a long time, it compounds. When something is added to, it lasts longer. We can go into quite a bit more detail, though, and see how this result becomes much more relevant than it appears at first glance:
I call the three additional figures (--11--, -1--1-, 1----1) "envoys" - they're instances where the black-white edges of multiple beads align, indicating specific figures and articulating the divination - see this image. In this case, they are: --11-- Preponderance of the Small (62) which gave me the theme of marginalization, -1--1- Darkness (29) which gave me the themes of darkness/absence, and 1----1 Nourishing (27) which gave me the theme of nourishing/inspiring. This figure 1----1 is described as looking like an open mouth, and its chapter in the I Ching discusses "nourishing" as it relates to talking/listening as well as eating, which is where I learned to think of this broad concept of fueling/informing development in terms of both food and information.
In this instance, I would consider all of the envoys to be "emphasized," meaning that the alignment occurs near the centre of the bead, which gives us more information. Each binary figure is 6 lines long, and in the I Ching, there are 6 lines of text for each figure corresponding to the shape of the figure. I use emphasized beads to indicate which lines to read, so in this case, we will read certain lines together as they occur in the Envoys, ultimately reading all 6 lines. Afterwards, I'll demonstrate another way to combine the figures, which I believe is the most important and significant section of this post. Please bear in mind that the terminology isn't complete and I'm not used to describing this, so if anything isn't clear, please let me know and I'll help.
The lines corresponding to --11-- which gave us the theme of marginalization, are (counting from the left) 3: "Not long lasting, one's virtue. Probably meets with disgrace. Being steadfast: humiliation. No one tolerates him." and 4: "Field. No birds. Staying away from one's proper place for long, How can one catch game?". So in this case, --11-- which gave me "marginalization" corresponds to these concepts: being seen as intolerable and disgraceful, and being unable to accomplish anything.
Just like -111-- and 111111 combine to create 1---11, we can combine each of the envoys with the primary figure as well to further explore their significance. I use different notation here, to show that this combination itself was not divined. Here is -111-- and --11-- combined together: -111-- x --11-- = -1----
The resulting figure is -1---- Multitude (7) which can refer to the populace. This somehow articulates the theme of marginalization further, indicating that it's about Arthur's place in the populace.
The lines corresponding to -1--1- (Darkness) are 2: "Regret vanishes. (It holds to the central place)." and 5: "Long lasting, one's virtue. Being steadfast and upright. Wives: good fortune. Husbands: misfortune. Docility brings good fortune for a wife; she follows one to the end. A man must make resolute decisions. Following a woman obediently: bad end." Common practice in the I Ching community is to read gender references psychologically, where the masculine is symbolic of cognition, and the feminine is symbolic of emotion. To me, this suggests that Arthur's dark side, which might be associated with his emotional or feminine side, is able to move and succeed - it isn't marginalized or oppressed.
The result of combining this envoy with the primary figure is: -111--- x -1--1- = --111- This is --111- Influence (31), showing perhaps that Arthur's dark side is where his ability to influence others lies. --111- is also called Mutual Influence, and it describes emotion/sensory feelings, as well as the relationship between any mutual pair of objects, but especially between a man and a woman. A good English word for it is "affect" - this word can mean emotion as well as influence between a relative pair. This combination could indicate that the darkness in this movie is related, in some way, to Arthur's unfulfilled relationship with Sophie (see further divinations below for another possible indication of this).
The lines corresponding to 1----1 Nourishing (27) are 1: "Deeply long lasting. Being steadfast: misfortune. Nothing is favourable. The misfortune of deeply long lasting because of seeking deepness and profundity at the very beginning." and 6: "Long lasting agitation. Misfortune. Long-lasting agitation at the uppermost position. Greatly without merit." Line 1 could refer not only to the fact that Arthur's agitation began at an early age, but also that he's seeking to be a famous standup with no foundations (we often see him at the bottom of staircases). Line 6 clearly refers to the fact that his frustration has persisted for too long. Ultimately, these are the circumstances which inspire his expressive act of violence on the Murray Franklin show.
-111-- x 1----1 = 1111-1 The result of this combination is 1111-1 Harvest (14) which means "to get" something, as in gathering a crop, understanding information, or even getting a joke. In this case, Arthur is "getting" the poor nourishment of his environment over a long period. He's believing and digesting it all, so that it transforms him.
Before closing this post with some other brief examples of divining media (demonstrating that this is even effective for predicting the themes of unreleased media), I'll show some more combinations and divinations about this movie.
Here are some other divinations I obtained for specific symbols and characters in Joker, this time after watching the movie:
Arthur: -1---1 Childhood/Ignorance (4) Sophie: -1--1- Darkness (29) Penny: --1--- Humbleness (15) Thomas Wayne: 111-1- Waiting/needing (5) Bruce Wayne: 1--11- Following (17) Murray Franklin: 1-1-11 Household (order) (37) Alfred: -11--1 Repair (18) Children: 1--1-1 Discerning/Eradicating (21) Clowns: 11-11- Joyfulness (58) Makeup: -1111- Saturation (28)
First of all, we can see how various characters and themes combine with Arthur:
-1---1 x -1--1- = ----11 Ignorance x Darkness = Viewing/observing Arthur x Sophie = Stalking/admiring
-1---1 x 111-1- = 1-1-11 Ignorance x Waiting/Needing = Household (order) Arthur x Thomas Wayne = Family/stability
-1---1 x 1-1-11 = 111-1- Ignorance x Household (order) = Waiting/Needing Arthur x Murray Franklin = Desire (idol and aspiration)
-1---1 x 1--11- = 11-111 Ignorance x Following = Conduct (fulfilment) Arthur x Bruce Wayne = Responsibility/duty
-1---1 x -1111- = --1111 Ignorance x Saturation = Retreat Arthur x Makeup = Escapism and withdrawal/hiding
-1---1 x 1--1-1 = 11-1-- Ignorance x Discerning = Marrying Maiden/Impropriety Arthur x Children = Inappropriate behaviour (Sophie's daughter, hospital kids, Bruce Wayne)
Since the movie itself is represented by 1-1--- we can see how various elements compare/fit into the movie itself:
1-1--- x -1---1 = 111--1 Obscuring x Ignorance = Great Accumulation Joker (2019) x Arthur = He's in it a lot
1-1--- x 1--11- = --111- Obscuring x Following = Influence Joker (2019) x Bruce Wayne = This is what influences him to become The Goshdarn Batman
1-1--- x -1111- = 11-11- Obscuring x Saturation = Joyfulness Joker (2019) x Makeup = Clowns
These equations can be compounded, by using the result of one in another:
1-1-11 x --1111 = 1--1-- Household (order) x Retreat = Shock (Thunder) Murray Franklin x (Arthur x Makeup) = Surprise violent punchline
1-1--- x 11-111 = -11111 Obscuring x Conduct (fulfilment) = Encountering Joker (2019) x (Bruce Wayne x Arthur) = This is their first encounter
-11111 x -11--1 = ---11- Encounter x Repair = Gathering Together Bruce and Arthur's first encounter x Alfred = he came together with them
As promised, I'll close this post with a couple of examples from other media: Star Wars movies and TV. This is what I've got so far because I love Star Wars, I've been into it recently since the new series started streaming, and it's what inspired me to start using divination this way. Sorry if you don't like Star Wars. Ladies, I promise I'll do Star Trek one day too. Zing! Not really, that'd be unnecessary. Everyone gets the themes in Star Trek: space, etc.
For Episode 5 of The Mandalorian, I divined this figure: 1-11-- Abundance (55). This captioned gallery shows a number of correlations I noticed with that figure when the episode came out. This post shows the figure (upright) hidden in a pixel drawing of Jedi blaster yoader or whatever his name is (just kidding, I love Star Wars) submitted a day before release from a different account Aladdin_Filep, showing that the divination is genuine.
For Episode 6 of The Mandalorian, the divination was: 1-1--- Darkening of the Light (36), just like Joker. I noticed certain similarities - see this gallery. Bill Burr, Richard Ayoade and Clancy Brown are in this episode, it's lit A.F. Again, here is the divination submitted as a pixel art drawing the day before release.
For Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker (out today), the divination is: -1-11- Exhausting (47).
For the entire first season of The Mandalorian, the divination is also: -1-11- Exhausting (47).
For Episode 7 of The Mandalorian (out tomorrow): -1-1-1 Not yet Fulfilled (64).
For Episode 8 of The Mandalorian (out next week): 1--1-1 Discerning/Eradicating (21).
As I continue to share this stuff, I hope you'll come with me for a strange but interesting journey. For now, I'm going to post to a subreddit I'm creating called /DivineBinary, please bookmark or subscribe to that subreddit if you're interested in this, or simply write it on your arm in permanent marker. I'm excited to read your comments on this - please share it around.
I have notes on other episodes of The Mandalorian and Star Wars movies which I'll write about soon, but in the future, but I really want to keep exploring this and to keep the variety up, using the opportunity to share and develop these techniques, as well as some more stuff I haven't shown yet. I'd like to look at media for now that's culturally relevant and broad (I don't mean topical, and I think I'll avoid politics - I really haven't been paying attention whatsoever for the past couple of years, hopefully no blonde men have been elected into power, because there was this horrific demonic prophecy about... no I'm sure it's fine).
I'd like to hear your suggestions for divinatory analysis like this. For now I want to stick to movies and TV. Superhero stuff feels like a good fit for this - last night I divined Thor: Ragnarok as 1-1--1 which means grace, beauty, and adornment, and Thor gets a haircut, so. I also love Pixar, and I have divinations for Toy Story which I need to look into, and Harry Potter might be a good idea as well. Most of all, though, I want to write about the greatest show ever made: Love.
And always remember: that's